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Old 10-01-2007, 02:01 AM   #5
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Default Re: Collected Paste Posts about Biting

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Title: 2.5 year old - biting and hitting
Post by: Havilah on May 04, 2006, 05:38:56 AM
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This is driving us nuts. He's not biting and hitting when he's angry or frustrated, but it's open season when he is bored or we are playing together. I've given him a couple of "big reactions" and he thinks they are hilarious... I don't know if he continues to bite in hopes of more big reactions He's started hitting us when he seems to think that we aren't focused on him, too, especially when adults are sitting around talking. It's embarrassing in public, and I'm never sure of the best way to respond. Explaining that "it's not nice to hit", that "hitting hurts" etc. isn't getting us anywhere.

We have been showing him gentle touches *forever* and he understands them. So much that he shows us gentle touches *without prompting* immediately after he hits us. He'll wallop one of us and the immediately rub our legs and say "thaaat's gennn-tal"

This morning we were hugging and snuggling and having a really sweet morning time when he suddenly took a chunk out of my shoulder. He bites like a snapping turtle and just hangs on until I pull myself away. It's really painful I actually didn't react outwardly at all this morning, I just walked away and began to clean up the kitchen. I explained that I couldn't allow myself to be bitten, and our snuggle time was over since I'd been bitten.

This reaction is really a new experiment since my old method was clearly not effective I'm not sure if it will prove more helpful. Any other suggestions?

I don't even know where to start with apologizing or making ammends, either. We've broached the topic, but I have no idea how to make it happen. Is it my job to make it happen, or just to model appropriate apologies and hope that he eventually gets it? I know he's young... only 2.5, so I'm not expecting consistent heartfelt apologies and ammends-making yet, but I feel like he needs to be introduced to the concept

Thanks


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Title: Re: 2.5 year old - biting and hitting
Post by: AmyDoll on May 04, 2006, 05:47:35 AM
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OOOO he's the same age as Sam.
Sam hits - but usually it's with an object that goes away (a play hammer, a light saber etc)
If he's hitting with his fists, I think I'd remove him from the situation all together. I'd say, "You're getting overwhelmed. Let's go to your room for a minute"

Biting! YIKES.... Um... He's got all his teeth right? "Teeth are for food. Mommy is not food. Would you like a cracker?" Do you have a place to put him? (Like a playpen) not necessarily away from everyone but so that you could say, "Biting hurts. Mommy doesn't like to be hurt. You can sit in here while Mommy does X. Because Mommy doesn't want to be bit. Mommy will be safe with you in the playpen."

Maybe that's too punitive?


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Title: Re: 2.5 year old - biting and hitting
Post by: Havilah on May 04, 2006, 05:57:44 AM
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Thanks for the ideas, Amy. He does have all his teeth, so it's not a teething issue. He never bit when he was teething :/

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Title: Biting
Post by: doubleblessings on October 11, 2005, 01:48:38 PM
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DD is a biter. DS actually was the first to start biting, but he hasn't been doing it much lately. I am wondering if it has to do some with teething. He got 2 more (6 total) a while back about the time he started biting or maybe he stopped because she has been biting and he sees it hurts? Anyway DD will bite often. If he has a toy she wants, if he gets in her way etc. I try to watch and if I see her about to bite I will tell her to stop and get them separated, but I can't watch them like a hawk all day every day . When she does bite we have been telling her "Biting hurts. We don't bite people." and sometimes I will give her something that is acceptable to bite. I pick DS up and comfort him. Is there anything else I can do? Anything I should do differently?


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Title: Re: Biting
Post by: gentlebirth on October 11, 2005, 05:38:34 PM
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ditto!!

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Title: Re: Biting
Post by: Joanne on October 12, 2005, 07:21:40 AM
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Excerpt from the rough draft of my book:

Biters, in general, are often oral seekers. If you increase the oral stimulation appropriately, you can decrease his desire to find it inapproriately. Increase spicy foods, chewy foods (sausage, fruit leather, bagels), hot and cold foods (smoothies, soup) and use a straw often.

Designate *one* toy as the biting toy and give it to him every time he bites, while removing him from the interaction and keeping victims safe and away. Let him know that you will help him until he can help himself.

How are his verbal skills? I'd do everything I can to find ways for him to express himself appropriately. Baby signs, notes, words, songs, gestures, facial expressions. Ways for him to say "give me space" or "I don't want to be happy" or "I am happy" or whatever.

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Title: Re: Biting
Post by: gentlebirth on October 12, 2005, 09:51:44 AM
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(not trying to hijack this thread , but..)

I wanted to add that my dd has a very intense personality, and though she communicates well (and often) verbally and through sign, she tends to get frustrated easily! She's a communicator, and gets frustrated when she's not getting feedback ( i.e. I'm on the phone, folding laundry, typing an email..). So when she bites, it's instant attention, and instant reaction from mommy...YOW!! It's plain old funny and interesting to watch someone have a strong reaction to something you do, especially when you're bored or feeling left out. So, I do exactly what you did, doubleblessings..I give her a firm "no!" and take her away from the "bite-ee", tell her biting hurts ( with a very sad face) and redirect her.

Quote from: Joanne on October 12, 2005, 07:21:40 AM
Quote:
Excerpt from the rough draft of my book:

Biters, in general, are often oral seekers. If you increase the oral stimulation appropriately, you can decrease his desire to find it inapproriately. Increase spicy foods, chewy foods (sausage, fruit leather, bagels), hot and cold foods (smoothies, soup) and use a straw often.

Designate *one* toy as the biting toy and give it to him every time he bites, while removing him from the interaction and keeping victims safe and away. Let him know that you will help him until he can help himself.
This is a good idea! I need to try to find a chewing toy for my little biter


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Title: Re: Biting
Post by: Mommy Piadosa on October 12, 2005, 10:13:55 AM
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Quote from: Joanne on October 12, 2005, 07:21:40 AM
Quote:
Excerpt from the rough draft of my book:
Biters, in general, are often oral seekers. If you increase the oral stimulation appropriately, you can decrease his desire to find it inapproriately. Increase spicy foods, chewy foods (sausage, fruit leather, bagels), hot and cold foods (smoothies, soup) and use a straw often.

This is exactly waht I learned 7 years ago when we went through our sensory integration disorder joureney with dd now 8. Her issues led me to take many OT classes, so I have further reccomendations for oral stimulation / stimulation objects.
Vibrating teethers are great and so are other vibrating massage objects. Vibrating massage inside and out side of the mouth is great.
Nuk makes a "nuk brush" which has a nobby end (it's supposed to clean baby's gums). Use this to massage the inside of the mouth. Or allow baby to chew on it.
Theraband tubing is a thick rubber tubing material, it can be made into a necklace and then the child always has their chew object nearby. (Safety note- make sure the necklace is made with an easily breakable string to avoid entanglement and strangulation). Other options include using this tubing on a keychain and clipping it to the child's clothing. Here is a picture-

Traditional sippy cups and bottles require a "lazy" suck encourage low tone and in turn do not provide much oral stimulation. Breast feeding and straw drinking use and stimulate many oral muscles. The thicker the drink, and the thinner the straw the more work the muscles are getting.
Many of these ideas and others can be bought in a catalog I love- unfortunutely they do not have many items in their online store, but ordering a catalog is great.
http://www.abilitations.com/ The tag line of their site says -
Quote
Improving the Lifes of Children with Differing Abilities

IMHO every child has differing abilities, so why not take advantage of all thats out there. OK off my soapbox- hope these ideas are helpful, and I have at least 15 more if your interested.


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