Gentle Christian Mothers Community - View Single Post - how do you change a default expectation?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose5000

I KNOW THis is old, sorry, but I read your post again, Pam, and I really see that my problem is I have trouble making up my mind and being firm.....when I hear the meltdowns, then I question my very choice ......the kid's crying makes me doubt myself.....

anythoughts?

Is this something you've addressed with your therapist? It can be.

Basically, you've got to take the line that *you are not responsible for other peoples' feelings.* You are responsible for your actions.

So assess what the correct action is, and then do it. When your children get upset about it, that doesn't make your decision incorrect--it just means that they're upset. But sometimes you KNOW that they will be upset about it ahead of time, right? You KNOW that limiting screen time or treats or whatever is likely to cause upset. So when the upset happens...you can just use it as confirmation that you were *right* to make the decision.

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ENTP fits me to a T, though it took me forever to figure it out! DYT Type 3, Enn. Type 1 (hold that thought...enneagram crisis...might be a 7!)
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