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Old 10-28-2015, 08:45 AM   #14
milkmommy
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Default Re: helping them learn to go to sleep

what "helped" with mine

1) timing their was that magical moment between winding down and first getting sleepy and over tired meltdown stage. A small window but if we were intune with it magic happened..

2) quiet home leading in.. We do this to some degree even today start setting a quiet mode a bit before bedtime even before bedtime rountinue. Keep media off lights low even things like a candle light dinner help.

3) laying down with them I approach self soothing in two ways.
1) an understanding that kids wont learn what they aren't taught. TO slef sooth thye need some understanding that they are safe and that no harm will come and all will be fine. That isn't taught by abandoning or any kind of CIO solutions (not that I'm thinking this is what you meant) so laying down for me means soothing voices and gentle touches as needed...
The other though is knowing your own kids both of mine had this point of no return a small period where they kinda "needed" to wiggle around and even fuss a bit and where me talking or worse touching made it way worse.. Never was it all out crying but like grunts and sighs and "complaining" a few minutes and it decreased quickly as they settled (vs crying louder and stronger till they wear them selfs out)

Anyways off the subject but IMHO when they start feeling secured that all is okay (And have the mental capibility to do so) self soothing will come into play naturally.

---------- Post added at 08:45 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:44 AM ----------

umm I just noticed the date of the Orginal poster.. and other info...
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven.
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