[ServingGrace]

When I moved into my apartment it was not squeaky clean. There were stains on the walls, floors, stuff like food in the heat vent screens, the stove hadn't been cleaned it what looked like ages. I am hoping to leave the place cleaner than it was when I got here.
I have heard from a few folks my apartments management company does not give back deposits and they are more of a cleaning fee. I.e. they just hand onto it and if the new renter requests painting or carpet shampooing they use my deposit to pay for it. I have gotten the impression it is very rare to get the deposit back from this company. They have three weeks after I move out to either keep or refund it. If they keep it is that an automatic bad reference? Or do some companies just keep deposits but give referrals if no money is owed?
Here are my main questions:
Would it be inappropriate to request a visit from one of the managers a few days before I move out? I would like to schedule it so I have a few days to clean or fix anything they notice out of place I may have over looked.
What are some things landlords would notice in it not think about? This is only my second rental!
Is painting and carpet steam cleaning normal between tenants? It did not appear it had been done before I moved in.
What is normal wear and tear? My son always peeks out the window when he first wakes up and says good morning to the sun. His window cover has a few broken pieces. Can I call maintence to replace it before I move out? Or do I have to buy one of my own?
I do not use my oven. I never got it clean enough to feel like it was not too gross to use. I use an induction cook top, crockpot etc instead. How clean do I have to get an appliance I never used because it was not clean I the first place?