[tempus vernum]

pee so we can leave, pick up the mess she made, whatever

My advice was going to be to offer transition times "5 minutes until we have to pee and leave." "It's almost time to finish up what you are doing and pick up" etc but you got that.

I know you are finding solutions. But I wanted to comment on something -- it's very helpful to reflect feelings because it shows a child you "hear" what she is "saying" through her posture and behavior. Like this.

"You have crossed your arms and made a 'hmph'. You closed your eyes and looked away. You seem unhappy with the directive I gave you. I know it's hard to stop playing and ______. Mama will help you. Come on."


I wanted to tell a funny anecdote. Note: child is 8 and has been GBD's since 19 months.

Last night, we were going upstairs and DD tells me about some woe she had. I immediately started giving her solutions. She stopped and her face got all red and she repeated herself. Again, I started giving more solutions. Again, she repeated herself. I started to give solutions and her face got all red, she stomped her foot and said it really loud. I started to get annoyed, and a light bulb went off I said "I hear you saying you felt __________ when _________________" and reflected her feelings. INstantly, all the emotion drained off her face and she hugged me and said "Yeah, I did feel that way. thanks mom"

Sometims our kids just want to be heard. They want us to know that we are THERE to hear them and listen. I would seriously try reflecting her feelings. The reason I specified my dd's age is that reflecting feelings is about teaching them about their feelings not solving their problems. Over and over again comment "you seem ______" and explain what you see that they have their _______ face on or describe their body language. They WILL learn their emotions and be able to express them to you as they grow with it