ChristineG

I said Pearls and others. The others are other moms at another board that I was involved in for a brief time. I have always been an ap parent, but when our ds was 3yo, I started questioning the discipline side. WHY, WHY didn't he behave? I ran across a few articles and books and they influenced me just at the wrong time. I joined the particular board I mentioned, which was not specifically about child-rearing, but had all kinds of legalistic stuff and the Pearls were considered #1 in terms of parenting. I got sucked in somehow and it took me over a year to truly detox. I am so grateful that God helped me out of that terrible pit. In many ways, I am also grateful (though sorry, too) that we went through that punitive, controlling stage. I was pretty cocky about ap/gentle discipline before this and tended to look down on anyone who didn't do things my way. I really, truly believe that this is the very best way to raise children. I don't believe that it is just a matter of personal preference, personality or anything. I think ap/GBD give our children the very best and best model Jesus' love. However, having gone through a couple of years of walking in the shoes of the 'other side', I am now much more empathetic and understanding toward them. I am more likely to see them as horribly misled and in bondage than to see them as uncaring, lazy or mean.

I must say that I also gained a new insight on Dr. Dobson and I no longer slate him into the same category as the Ezzos or the Pearls. I really believe that he is a man who dearly loves the Lord. I completely disagree with him on many, many points, but I have also read a few things that make me believe that he does have a kind and understanding side to him. I definitely don't go out of my way to get his books or articles (except that I do own Bringing Up Boys and appreciated a lot of that), but I do think that I was able to do what we tell moms at LLL to do, "Take what works for you and leave the rest." I don't find that his written material has the same negative influence on me that the Pearls stuff does. With the Pearls and other similar writers, Reb Bradley was another one, their books are like poison to me. If I ingets it, it does damage. Dr. Dobson doesn't affect me like that....though PLEASE don't think I am trying to endorse his materials!! I really have tended to steer clear of most of them.