[OnAMission]

I would not attend a church where children are flat out not allowed (we do not ask people to leave their purses or valuables... why on earth should I trust a stranger with my children who are far more precious? ). Now, a church that just wants perfect behavior, I have done various things. I have simply gone to the nursery if I felt too stressed about my toddler making noise and wiggling. At times and in churches (we have moved a lot!) where I felt stronger and more known, I was willing to be "that person" who had a child. I have only ever gotten positive comments from people who are glad to see children in the service.

I totally understand missing out on the sermons and the singing. Oh, singing is my favorite! I have four little ones close together, so I have missed years of sitting all the way through the service. It is only recently now that my youngest is three (and a particularly still and quiet three!) that I have been able to sit through a whole service. In the meantime, I have done lots of the things mentioned here. I have gone to formal Bible Studies; I have done more informal get-togethers; a Bible study that rotated houses, and we hired a teenager to keep an eye on the kids who were willing to not sit with mom; read a lot of books on positive and gentle (not permissive!!) parenting (check out Sally Clarkson, especially the Mission of Motherhood, for an inspiring read!) and spent a lot of time thinking about God as my Father and how he relates to me and how I in turn ought to relate to my children; read fairly academic books on certain books of the Bible that are of interest to me and stretch my understanding of God, the Bible, and who I am; listened to sermons either from my own church or others (I like Crystal Lutton's sermons a lot -- she is on this board!); and read here a lot. None of that is quite like a church service to really feel like part of the greater body of Christ, but children are only small once, and it is only a season.

The more calm, gracious, kind, godly wisdom you can surround yourself with, the better - through what you read, what you watch, who you talk to, etc. Babies, toddlers, and young children are exhausting, and it is so difficult, especially with the first one, to work through the fear of messing up, realizing the reality of parenting is so very different than what you thought, recognizing areas where you wish your parents had done differently with you and simultaneously gaining understanding for why they did what they did and even acknowledging with (sometimes reluctant!) admiration the things that they did well that you find hard. I am glad you are are here I hope you find it a welcoming grace-filled place to learn and grow!