Re: Enforcing (or not!) House Rules - when is it permissive/punitive?
For me it depends on the child, the situation and the circumstance. At times, I will still apply the consequence and at times I will extend grace. If I do extend grace, I will tell my children that is what I am doing so to avoid confusion, etc.
Perhaps in that situation, you could require a restituion of sorts instead of going to his room. "Thank you for taking the re-do. When you speak that way to me, I feel hurt. Can you think of a way to give me some kindness right now, like a hug or a kind word?" That way, you have really used the re-do and he has the opportunity to learn. But you've also required that he make restitution so that the sassing is not ignored.
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