[gentletitus2mama]

I have been rereading the book How to Really Parent Your Teenager by Ross Campbell M.D. and a quote in the discipline really spoke to me because I am dealing with this in my older boys who were ezzo and pearl parented when they were toddlers/ preschoolers.

The problem is that just as punishment isn't the same as discipline, punishment isn't the same as love, either. It DOES train the child, and it trains with this message:"I love you and relate to you completely according to your behavior." The result has been an anger that has been burrowed deep into the children , who then nurtured it until that anger reemerged in destructive and self-destructive ways. ......I believe stealth anger is the furnace of our currently angry world. And I think that much of that anger can be traced to parents who meant well but who failed to understand the true nature of discipline. They punished away the bad behavior but in doing so they created anger that filled the void where unconditional love should have been.