Thread: SACH review
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Old 03-14-2008, 06:15 AM   #10
MarynMunchkins
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Default Re: SACH review

"Embracing Biblical Methods: Communication"

If you are able to eliminate Tedd Tripp's insistence that the rod is Biblical, you will find this chapter full of insight and encouragement. I really liked it. His emphasis on communication, dialogue, and relationship as the keystone of discipline is refreshing. Unfortunately, he insists that it cannot be used alone. "The rod and communication must always be woven together in the actual shepherding of children." (pg. 72) However, since later chapters are devoted specifically to the rod, I'll save my detailed objection of it until later.

The rest of this chapter is brilliant. His first point is "communication is dialogue, not monologue". In order to discipline our children, we have to talk with them - not at them. People cannot feel valued or respected if they are ignored. We have to be careful to listen to their stories, their dreams, their hopes, their disappointments, and their failures.

This leads us to his second point: "Focus on Understanding". He describes what Crystal calls "reflecting feelings". It's a simple technique that simply involves suggesting the feeling a child may be feeling. For example, if my child is crying after I said "no dessert tonight", I would reflect their feelings by saying, "You sound disappointed". Helping him name and understand his own feelings is the first goal. Helping him realize that I recognize those feelings and consider them valid is the second. Once we have accomplished that, we are able to deal with those feelings and move past them to solve the problem. It's really the first step to any discipline a parent does.

As Paul said in Romans, we are to "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another."
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