[MaryPoppinsIAin't]

There were a lot of forced apologies in my house growing up. And a lot of both kids standing in the kitchen staring at the spatula in Mom's hand as she demanded to know who had hidden the banana under the guest bed two weeks ago that she just now found with her hand. Like any kid in their right mind is gonna confess with the instrument of pain being waved under their nose. We both stood there for fifteen-twenty minutes denying it, blaming the other one, or just silent, and eventually she'd decide which was the guilty one (99% of the time she figured it was me) and I'd get paddled, she said for lying about it, but it was a forgone conclusion from the beginning.

"If you just tell the truth, you won't be in trouble" has got to be one of the biggest lies she ever told, and she told it a lot.

Real making amends wasn't taught, I think because neither of my parents knew how. My dad was a "give her something expensive & flashy & she'll forgive you" type, my mom just let it drop when she figured you'd been punished enough. Over the last decade or so I've worked out on my own that "I'm sorry" isn't usually enough, and presents don't usually work either, you have to actually make the wrong thing right somehow.