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I actually explained apologies and making ammends to my 65yo mother, recently.

It was like she had been hit by a bludger out of the blue. She had never ever apologized for anything or had anyone in her family apologize to her. She didn't teach apologies. She taught "you get in trouble, then admit what you did wrong and then you must act as ashamed as possible, feel as ashamed as possible and don't do it again."

When I apologized to her, for hurting her feelings, she didn't even know what to say....she said, "What are you doing? What is this?" and I had to say, "This is what healthy people do when they accidentally or even intentionally hurt one another. They apologize for hurting the person, and they try to make ammends where they can." I've never seen her so confuzzled.

__________________

allisonintx
Wife to Stephen
Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12
Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home.
. . . . . . .

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Messages:

05-26-2012, 02:33 PM	#16
allisonintx Rose Garden Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that. Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: catching up on the laundry Posts: 41,294	Re: Light bulb moment I actually explained apologies and making ammends to my 65yo mother, recently. It was like she had been hit by a bludger out of the blue. She had never ever apologized for anything or had anyone in her family apologize to her. She didn't teach apologies. She taught "you get in trouble, then admit what you did wrong and then you must act as ashamed as possible, feel as ashamed as possible and don't do it again." When I apologized to her, for hurting her feelings, she didn't even know what to say....she said, "What are you doing? What is this?" and I had to say, "This is what healthy people do when they accidentally or even intentionally hurt one another. They apologize for hurting the person, and they try to make ammends where they can." I've never seen her so confuzzled. __________________ allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . .

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