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milkmommy · 08-29-2005, 11:32 PM

Okay don't laugh a strange time for this to happen but..
I'm a non spanker non punishment I was an almost complete non spanker before Cecilia ans as shes grown I've been lucky enough to have support such as here to help define my beliefs. However I've never really been able to put my finger on excatly why I don't like punishments.. Then tonight during an old 70's rerun of Good times

it came to me. In this epsoide there is a gang problem and the youngest son has joined hes been hiding the fact but they find a jacket owned by the gang. The mother calls her son and demands to know if its his... (comercial brake) I suddenly realized that this wasn't an unusual situation. Child did something unapproved parent confronts them. So I thought okay the next step can be handled three ways
1) punitivly IF the childs used to punishment then his decession to sat the truth is not on his actions of being in the gang but rather how much punishment hes illing to take. The mind is now asking it self should I say its mine and risk being punished or should I lie risking further punishment latter for lying. However the action that brought him into this situation is no longer the issue

2) permissivly, he can say yes Its mine what about it, the parent can dissmiss it half hearlty say I wish your wouldn't join but then do nothing to make it happen. problem being its okaying the behavior and in some cases it could mean natural conquences far worse than the child is capabable to handling.

3) GBD In this the focus stays focused on the action, the child doesn't fear punishment but at the same time they also know their actions won't be dismissed. This will be the moment when it all will come out. Good or bad and this will be the moment that they face them selfs and their own decessions head on.

For my child I choose #3

Deanna

08-29-2005, 11:32 PM	#1
milkmommy Rose Garden sisters! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sunniest place on Earth and hotter than Phoenix! Might as well be sitting on the sun... Posts: 35,300	A telvision ephany or Why GBD? Okay don't laugh a strange time for this to happen but.. I'm a non spanker non punishment I was an almost complete non spanker before Cecilia ans as shes grown I've been lucky enough to have support such as here to help define my beliefs. However I've never really been able to put my finger on excatly why I don't like punishments.. Then tonight during an old 70's rerun of Good times it came to me. In this epsoide there is a gang problem and the youngest son has joined hes been hiding the fact but they find a jacket owned by the gang. The mother calls her son and demands to know if its his... (comercial brake) I suddenly realized that this wasn't an unusual situation. Child did something unapproved parent confronts them. So I thought okay the next step can be handled three ways 1) punitivly IF the childs used to punishment then his decession to sat the truth is not on his actions of being in the gang but rather how much punishment hes illing to take. The mind is now asking it self should I say its mine and risk being punished or should I lie risking further punishment latter for lying. However the action that brought him into this situation is no longer the issue 2) permissivly, he can say yes Its mine what about it, the parent can dissmiss it half hearlty say I wish your wouldn't join but then do nothing to make it happen. problem being its okaying the behavior and in some cases it could mean natural conquences far worse than the child is capabable to handling. 3) GBD In this the focus stays focused on the action, the child doesn't fear punishment but at the same time they also know their actions won't be dismissed. This will be the moment when it all will come out. Good or bad and this will be the moment that they face them selfs and their own decessions head on. For my child I choose #3 Deanna __________________ Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven.

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