Gentle Christian Mothers Community - View Single Post - I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance

SouthPaw · 07-18-2006, 10:00 AM

Ok, so in essence are you saying that behavior training (i.e. specifics) and character training (motives) each work better when you work on them at separate times?

This makes a lot of sense, since it separates the action and the emotions from the intellectual understanding. You can't expect a kid to philosophize on something when they are upset or when you are upset.

And instead, punitive measures would be trying to moosh the two together, which would cause confusion....am I being punished for WHAT i did or for WHY (mommy assumes) I did it... which to me seems like it would incite MORE rule-testing

Plus a little toddler won't understand the whole "motive" thing anyway, so why should they be expected to understand it when they are at their most emotionally unstable?

Interesting. Thanks for the post, Crystal!!

07-18-2006, 10:00 AM	#19
SouthPaw Rose Garden Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 12,872	Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance Ok, so in essence are you saying that behavior training (i.e. specifics) and character training (motives) each work better when you work on them at separate times? This makes a lot of sense, since it separates the action and the emotions from the intellectual understanding. You can't expect a kid to philosophize on something when they are upset or when you are upset. And instead, punitive measures would be trying to moosh the two together, which would cause confusion....am I being punished for WHAT i did or for WHY (mommy assumes) I did it... which to me seems like it would incite MORE rule-testing Plus a little toddler won't understand the whole "motive" thing anyway, so why should they be expected to understand it when they are at their most emotionally unstable? Interesting. Thanks for the post, Crystal!! __________________ INTP Wife to: Mr. Aerospace Mommy to: Ballerina (8) Jester (7) Speedracer (6) Flying Squirrel (August '14)

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