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Along with the other reasons, the one I see the most often is pride. The more control we have, the better we look on the outside, the more 'together' our family seems, the more accolades we get from other humans. Rather than getting our worth from Jesus, we are searching for it from fellow man. And the way to get it from man is to 'look better'. Part of that is total control over children, since punitive parents take full responsibility for the choices their children make. Every single punitive parent I know is looking for acceptance from someone. And I think THAT comes from being punitively parented themselves, they are seeking the power/control that was taken from them as children.

__________________
INFJ/INTJ DYT 4 Wife to Alan, Mama to Abby 3/05, Ella 2/08, and Julianna 10/10

“Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.”
Leo Buscaglia

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03-17-2010, 01:20 PM	#13
mommy2abigail Rose Trellis Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 2,895	Re: So why is it... Along with the other reasons, the one I see the most often is pride. The more control we have, the better we look on the outside, the more 'together' our family seems, the more accolades we get from other humans. Rather than getting our worth from Jesus, we are searching for it from fellow man. And the way to get it from man is to 'look better'. Part of that is total control over children, since punitive parents take full responsibility for the choices their children make. Every single punitive parent I know is looking for acceptance from someone. And I think THAT comes from being punitively parented themselves, they are seeking the power/control that was taken from them as children. __________________ INFJ/INTJ DYT 4 Wife to Alan, Mama to Abby 3/05, Ella 2/08, and Julianna 10/10 “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” Leo Buscaglia

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