I'm sorry. You're already dealing with so much, hearing this must feel especially disheartening.
With everything that is going on, both for your family personally and for the world generally, it's wholly expected that it would be reflected in their behaviour. You're doing amazing just by doing the necessary things each day.
I know you already know this, but sometimes it can be hard to remember in these difficult seasons: grace-based parenting is focused on the long-term relationship with and emotional health of the child. Sometimes that fruit doesn't show up in short-term behaviour, but they are slowly gaining the tools to show themselves grace and to self-regulate their own behaviour in a non-shame-based way.
With those purposes in mind, do
you feel that changes need to be made? It sounds like you're doing well with setting limits, maintaining consistency, and following through with your words.