Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
That is specific protocol for a "crisis" (i.e., temper tantrums), i.e., #3 would be something like, "And I won't let you hurt your brother."
I haven't finished reviewing the book - I'd highly recommend buying it or borrowing it from the library. There's lots of exercises in it that I don't describe here.
Did you read the part about the self-comforting tools and how to teach them? That is a lot more relevant to your issues, I think.
(Sorry if I sound short...I'm feeling absolutely horrid right now.)
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