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Old 06-12-2009, 12:16 AM   #8
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Default Re: Collected Past Posts Sharing Gentle Discipline Success Stories

Post by: milkmommy on April 16, 2005, 04:08:34 PM
but I honestly can't remeber the last time my DD did something I'd say "deserved punishment" SHe learned to climb onto kitchen cabinets last month we redirrected and put up a gate to "break the tempation" but those have been down for weeks and no problems, no nap or bedtime issues, no screaming fits. Little whines but nothing a tickle a glass of water or a hug can't cure. shes 2.5 she sosposed to be in her terrible 2's?? Not that I'm complaining
She's a bundle of energy and a complete joy,, It makes me sad to think how much joy I'd be missing if I had remained in the punitive mind set.
Post by: purplerose on May 13, 2005, 10:43:44 AM
I took my kids to the park the other day and another lady was there with her child . . . Well, the lady didn't say anything like "wow! What a great GBD you are" or anything, but she told me she was very impressed at how nicely I spoke to my children and that I didn't yell. And then when I told them it was time to go they were like "Okay, mommy" and they got into the wagon and we left. NO tantrums or anything! She also said she was impressed at how politely I spoke to my kids when they started to fight over the same bucket and shovel. I just told them nicely that they had to share with each other or we'd just have to come home. And again, "Ok, mommy" arguements of anything! I was soooooooo proud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Leslie on April 11, 2005, 08:33:27 AM
Dh has been hinting that we need to start 'disciplining' our toddler, because if we just keep removing her from situations without punishing her, she'll 'never learn.' But I've convinced him to be patient, that spanking doesn't really teach them. After all, listen to how many parents say they keep spaning and spanking their toddler but the toddler just does the same thing again, as if he's testing. The spanking hasn't really made a difference. It seems to me (from past experience with our other babies) that they eventually 'get it' at about a year and a half when we've used spanking in the past. Dh hasn't been convinced, and has said she won't ever learn until we establish our authority once and for all (with a spanking) to show her we mean it.

Our toddler figured out that she can reach all her brothers' toys on the kitchen table if she climbs a chair. So the boys aren't supposed to leave chairs out for her to climb, they're supposed to push them in. But they keep forgetting, and she's quick, it doesn't take more than a few seconds before she spots a chair that's out, and she's up on it and getting their stuff. We pick her up, put her on the floor without punishing her, and push the chair in.

This morning, one of her brothers left a chair out. She went over to the chair, but instead of scrambling up, she got upset, pointed to the chair, and kept saying, "Uh-oh! Uh-oh!" until the chair was pushed back in! So it looks to me like she learned the same thing at the same time she would have if we'd have spanked her. With spanking, it seems to take about a year and a half of the toddler not getting it, repeating the undesired behavior, testing. Without spanking, it seems to take a year and a half to learn the same thing!
Post by: Lillyma on April 11, 2005, 08:42:29 PM
Leslie, we have been noticing the same thing with our 1 1/2 yo. I was noticing it with hot things. The other kids I had "trained them" w/ the rod not to touch hot stuff. Sho was never "trained" in that way & she will warn me "Hhoh! Hhhoh!"

Dh was just telling me last week he has friends who, from time-to-time, ask him how it's going. (We stopped spanking/punishing about a year ago.) He told me he tells them it's about the same (now, after we've mostly passed the dreaded paradigm shift) as it was before. Better in some respects, TBH!
Post by: chelsea on April 13, 2005, 06:09:27 PM
I am so happy for you that you are seeing the results of gentle discipline! I have never spanked my son but I have also been told that using the rod is the only way. My son is 16 months and I remember the first time he passed a "phase" and I was shocked, as though somewhere in the back of my mind it was totally ingrained that he would never mature without the use of the rod. So encouraging to hear the same thing from other parents, because it just reaffirms what I have come to believe...NO SPANKS HERE!
Post by: Wonder Woman on May 14, 2005, 07:07:24 AM
[quote]Ds and I were in W*lmart yesterday and I stopped by the Christian book section. Ds was in the cart and he was already tired. A woman came up to me and pointed out a series of books she liked, and I showed her a new author I've been reading.
Ds started fussing, and I interacted with him " Mommy knows you're tired....just a minute and mommy will take you to see Tigger" (His treat in the W place...a ride on the tigger boat.) And he held up his arms to me and gave me a hug and kiss...and calmed down. Just sat there and snuggled me.
The lady turned to walk away and looked back at me and said "he's a very lucky boy to have a mommy that cares the way you do"

And I say it's undeserved because I am really hormonal and have not been nearly as patient as I need to be this week...and ds was truly extending some grace to me, not I to him! ]/quote]
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