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Old 06-14-2007, 07:14 PM   #2
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Default Re: Collected Past Posts about Cleaning Up

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Title: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: Radosny Matka on May 17, 2005, 06:43:24 PM
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This has been an ongoing battle.  Yet again, tonight was another battle.  I know I handled this poorly.  My toolbox is empty.  I tried several different things to get Nathaniel to help clean up toys.  He refused, no matter what I said, or how I presented it.  I was fed up.  Totally and 100% fed up and reached my breaking point.  This was probably more puntative, but I told Nathaniel I was taking away all his toys, putting them in a box in the basement, because he couldn't help clean up.  I told him that he could have them back in a few days.  I went downstairs, got a HUGE box, and started putting all his toys (that we on the floor) in the box.  He was yelling, so I sat him on the couch and told him to sit there until he could calm down.  He didn't care about the toys until I got to his tackle box (he has a tackle box and some lures, with the hooks removed).  Then the waterworks started.  I told him that if he wanted to help clean up, we could put the toys back.  He refused and just kept crying.  I got all but about 2 toys in the box.  This would have left him with a small handful of toys for the next few days.  All of a sudden, he said he wanted to help clean.  I said, "if you help me put all these toys away, you can have them back."  He got down off the couch, crawled into the box, and started helping me put away the toys.  He actually had a blast crawling in and out of the huge box, so we made a game out of it.  When done I gave him a huge hug and said, "guess what, Nathaniel.  We are done.  It is no fun to put away toys.  I am very proud of you for choosing to help me pick up the toys."  Then we went on with our bedtime routine.

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with this child.  He is persistent and a tad stubborn ( just like his momma).  I'm glad he decided to help put away the toys, because I felt bad taking them all away.  I just am not sure what else to do.  I have tried all the advice here.  I even went so far as to put 1/2 of his toys away (to rotate) a couple weeks ago thinking maybe he just had too much.  Didn't help any.  


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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: ArmsOfLove on May 17, 2005, 06:45:41 PM
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some young children have personalities and temperaments that will have them consistently helping to clean up . . . many do not.  Keep modelling it, keep including them, keep teaching, and they will get it.


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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: milkmommy on May 17, 2005, 06:56:19 PM
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How old is he again?
  How are your toys oganized we have all of Cecilia's stuff in clear plastic containers and she LOVES to play the sorting game. ( putting the right toy in each box) other thing I do. Give her a wicker basket like for Easter eggs and we go hunting to leggos or blocks I give her a plastic shovel and she scoops up toys with it and dumps them in the right box.
To keep heer from spreading ALL her toys everywhere we bought some small bath mats (dollar store) and taught her it was a special matt for playing. (as in the toy stays in the mat) were no obsessive about it things still get messy shes 2  but it does help her focus. We pick up through games.
Lets stand up tall now touch the ground and pick ofsome toys now lets twirl around and put up our cars. lets close our eyes and hand mommy three things.
  HTH

Deanna


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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: kristen on May 18, 2005, 01:48:59 AM
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I've done that before...they won't pick them up, so I give them a warning and put everything away that is out on the floor. I did it as a threat/punishment because I was mad that they didn't put them up and I didn't want to do it. But what I realized several days later is that there was way too much out for them to handle. They don't play with hardly any of it anyway- they have their favorite stuff but the rest just gets thrown around in order to get to their favorite stuff. We have less out that we ever have before and they are fine.


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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: jmom on May 18, 2005, 05:40:08 AM
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I have a tool for you...  I just learned this myself and it's a really good tool.

It's the no more than 2 toys out at a time rule.    The child can have any two toys out at a time, and if they want another toy, they can have it as long as one of the toys they have out goes away.  The consequence to not keeping to the rule is the toys that are not put away when another is taken out is to be put in a trash bag or box and put away until the child can adhere to the 2 toy rule.  They can start "earning" toys back as they start following the rule.   For younger children 2 and under, this rule can be modeled by mom and dad get toys out for the child, and put away one toy when they want another. 

For some kids putting away more than 2 toys at a time is overwhelming to them - even with help.    

HTH.




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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: snlmama on May 18, 2005, 06:30:14 AM
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Well, here's what we do. I think my oldest ds is one of those who just likes things orderly so it's probably a bit easier for me than for you. My second isn't, so we have to work more on him, but often ds 1 will put up stuff for ds 2. 

Anyway, here are a few things that work w/ my kids. I keep stuff in the plastic bins like milkmommy does and have specific spots for the other stuff. Then I regulate how many bins they can have open at a time. Generally it's one each, but I'll make exceptions if they need two for a specific game or something. Also, if they get out a board game, all other toys must be put away and the board game it to be put away right after they use it. Started this when ds 2 was crawling and now they're just used to it.

If they are wanting a new toy out I tell them they need to pick up the stuff they already have out first. They don't do it, no new toy. Then, just before bed we do kind of a general clean up for all the stray stuff that's not really in boxes and gets out (stuffed animals, books, etc).  I have been setting the timer for 10 min. and they pick up and clean for 10 min. That's been working OK. Last night I had trouble getting them going so I raced them to see if they could each pick up 10 toys before I could (I kinda let them win   ) We did this in the family room and each of their rooms. I was amazed at how fast it all got done. Pretty much it all boils down to keeping their stuff organized, not letting them have too much out and setting up a regular routine for clean up.


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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: ArmsOfLove on May 18, 2005, 09:19:16 AM
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Oh yeah--we finally got our playroom all organized with plastic bins and they are allowed one each at a time unless they need something from another bin for a specific use. It's MUCH easier to clean up and they only run into trouble if they get out too many bins (which isn't happening now that we've gotten the lock on the handle )


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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: MarynMunchkins on May 18, 2005, 10:28:32 AM
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Yep.   Our toys are organized in bins too.  They're only allowed one bin at a time, and we do "clean up" 2 x's a day.

If, for whatever reason, more stuff gets dragged out, than I make them responsible for cleaning one bin and do the rest.  Than we're "helping" each other, and neither is as overwhelmed or frustrated.


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Title: Re: Sigh...more on picking up toys
Post by: Joanne on May 19, 2005, 04:30:10 PM
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Adding to the great ideas above..........

Also try to have "clean up" times routined and predictable.  If kids know that clean up comes after reading, but before snack, every day, it helps minimize the battles that emerge when mom imposed "clean up" unpredictably.

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Title: enforcing clean-up
Post by: mama2mad on June 30, 2005, 01:31:59 PM
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with kenz, it's gettin pretty easy, tell her she can't go out to play or play noggin until it's done, give her a section or certain items to pick up at that time, she usually does it.

abbey, well, it's different. she's younger, of course it's different. I tell her to pick up one thing at a time, she will refuse. i tell her mommy will take this toy, while you take this toy, lets hold hands and put it away together, she yells and collapses, atleast about 70% of the time. she doesn't care if she can get to play outside or not, or if that means no noggin until she does.


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Title: Re: enforcing clean-up
Post by: Irene on June 30, 2005, 01:38:56 PM
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my three yr old does that too... extremely frustrating. or she goes around and collapses and says "its too haaaaard" even if Im helping.

the only thing I have figured out and it only works probably 25% of the time is to ignore it and be like "okay whatever well, when you decide that you want to play/watch dvd etc just let me know when the toys are picked up" and walk away and just dont care. then they will get done if Im not watching her...

but for the other 75% of the time... I will watch for others answers


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Title: Re: enforcing clean-up
Post by: snlmama on June 30, 2005, 01:49:47 PM
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I don't know if this is considered GBD or just and exercise in futility, but when my 3 year old (today!!!) absolutely refuses to help clean I ask if he needs my help, then help him move his hands to pick up a couple of things and put them away. He usually decides to do it on his own after that. 

Before taking that step, though, something that helps w/ both my kids is setting a timer for clean up. Instead of requiring that they "pick up everything" or do a certain job, I have started setting a timer for 10 min. a couple of times a day and telling them we all need to clean until the timer goes off. It's amazing. It can take my 6 year old an hour or more to clean his room if I just tell him to do it, but if I set the timer, he can pick up everything AND dust and vacuum in 10 minutes flat. 
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