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Old 06-14-2007, 01:53 PM   #4
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Default Re: Collected Comfort Corner Comments

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Title: How About Another Comfort Corner Story?
Post by: Mom Of Two Girls on April 29, 2005, 09:55:50 AM
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Delighted.

Rebecca's teacher came for a visit today. We were talking about what to do when she got out of control. We talked about letting her stamp her feet and say "I'm mad!" to stop her from hitting. I told Gail that when Rebecca is out of control, she gets to sit in the recliner with a special pillow and blanket until she's settled down. Interesting. "That's not a time out, right?" I explained that it wasn't. It was a place for Rebecca to go and settle down in and that she's free to leave when she feels better.

Gail loved it. It made me that much more comfortable with her being is school right now.

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Title: God designed the Comfort Corner!
Post by: MarynMunchkins on April 19, 2005, 05:54:18 PM
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Check this out!!    God was talking to Job, and mentioned a comfort corner!    A safe place to have a tantrum, with firm boundaries. 


Quote:
8And who took charge of the ocean

    when it gushed forth like a baby from the womb?

    9That was me! I wrapped it in soft clouds,

    and tucked it in safely at night.

    10Then I made a playpen for it,

    a strong playpen so it couldn't run loose,

    11And said, "Stay here, this is your place.

    Your wild tantrums are confined to this place.'

Isn't that awesome?! It's from Job 38:8-11, from the Message.


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Title: Question about "time-ins"
Post by: CJ on April 21, 2005, 04:28:57 PM
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Okay, I have been trying to do the one reminder, then sit until you're ready to ______.  For example, DS (5) is teasing DD (3) as they color at the table.  We've talked about other conversation options, etc ad nauseum.  I remind him to encourage her instead of teasing (we've even established the sign for encourage).  He continues a moment later or completely ignores my reminder.  I tell him that he needs to go sit on the couch or somewhere until he is ready to use only encouraging words with his sister.  He says, "I AM ready" and refuses to go. 

I can honestly say that this is what he says EVERY time.  How would you handle this?  I find myself engaging in an argument or shouting or angrily insisting that he go to the couch, thus it becomes a controlling punitive thing.  I've even started insisting that he go and at least sing the ABC's and then decide if he's ready or not.  There usually is a change when he comes back.  But I'm tired of the argument EVERY time.  And I know that when I don't do something after one reminder, it gets worse, and then I get even more frustrated and I see him taking my words less seriously--like "I don't really have to listen to Mom.  She'll say it again 15 times."

Any suggestions?



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Title: Re: Question about "time-ins"
Post by: milkmommy on April 21, 2005, 04:41:23 PM
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Id drop the till you can do X hes smart and knows by saying "I'm ready" he can get outa it.  Instead I'd just say I heard you being mean to your sister (I'm being brief here you;d use more appropiate words) you need to go take a time in on the couch for a few mintues then you and I will talk about the big feeling your having. At first I'd assure him hes not being punished but you can't allow him to treat his sister that way. Have him go sit down JUST long enough to calm down and get a hold of him self (it could be seconds) then go over and talk about him having big feelings and how in the future he could better express them.

Deanna


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Title: Re: Question about "time-ins"
Post by: ArmsOfLove on April 21, 2005, 08:02:13 PM
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I'd take the wind out of his sails . . . "You're having a hard time.  Let's go sit together until you feel better."  Then sit together, cuddle, do some rituals for connecting, sing, read a book--something to feel better.  And I would simply refuse to discuss it further,  I'd take him physically and move him to where we will sit together and he could verbally protest all he wanted--I'd still sing or read the book or whatever and he could take the time he needs to change his attitude.  If he got physically assaultive I'd walk away and tell him to let me know when he could stop himself from hurting me and then I'd love to sit with him for a bit again.


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Title: Re: Question about "time-ins"
Post by: Joanne on April 22, 2005, 06:48:43 AM
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He knows the rule.  So, after the first violation, I'd pick him up and move him.  "You've chosen not to play crayongs respectfully.  You can go do something else".  If he wants to continue with crayons, then he needs to make amends in similar fashion to how he made a mistake.  The amends for teasing, then, would be saying a kind or encouraging thing.  Anything less or any resistence is a choice to not play crayons.


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Title: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: blessed2mothr4 on January 17, 2007, 06:14:34 AM
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Do you still use yours?

I set one up when we first started GBDing, but was using it more as a 'time out' then a cuddle corner.   It wasn't working and took up too much space, so I got rid of it.

Now we've re-arranged the living room and there is a PERFECT corner for a cuddle corner... I'm thinking of reinstating it for the right reasons this time... if I can remember how to use is properly.    Just curious to know if you guys use yours?  And any suggestions on what to put in it?  So far we just have the bookshelf there.... 

I don't want it to become a "when you're naughty go there"... i want it to be comfortable and inviting, so any suggestions would be great! 

Thanks! 

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: MarynMunchkins on January 17, 2007, 06:44:23 AM
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I use their rooms because if my older kids are around other people, they don't calm down. 

Colin still uses me as his CC. 

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: Navae on January 17, 2007, 11:22:21 AM
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Where in his room do you have it?  Is it simply his room or is it a section?

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: MarynMunchkins on January 17, 2007, 12:08:31 PM
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Both are just in their rooms.  Ana has a canopy over her bed that she closes for "privacy". 

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: hsgbdmama on January 17, 2007, 01:24:01 PM
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We don't have a CC either; however, sometimes the kids will build one in the entryway of the house with blankets and stuffed animals or at the bottom of the steps in the basement (small area) the same way and call it the CC.

For our CC I just put them someplace comfortable where they can calm down ... it can be our bed (king size), the chair in the LR (it is a very cushy chair), the couch in the basement (ours is finished off) or in a fort they have made -- the point of the CC is that they have a quiet place to calm down and regroup.  The CC may also be their bed if they want that quiet time alone, but it is a mutual decision (especially with ds1 ... it is not a punishment, it is a "you are wiggy and need to regroup" type thing).  In any case, I am readily available for them if they need me -- it is not a situation where I ignore them until *I'm* ready to deal with them again.

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: Heather Micaela on January 17, 2007, 02:07:51 PM
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I tried a specific one and really had no room for it.  DD likes to sit with me in the recliner.  Ds -wherever

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: mamaKristin on January 17, 2007, 08:44:13 PM
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I kind of *cuddle corner on the fly*    My older 2 will both go to their rooms to 'chill out' when they feel they need to - they both started doing that on their own.  Actually, my oldest would do it, and his sister copied.  If I need to have a cuddle with the kids, I generally do it in our living room in the rocking chair, but will do it in any place that is away enough from the 'action' to be calming.

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: Mama Piadosa on January 17, 2007, 08:56:13 PM
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well i'm beginning to resign myself to the fact that gbd looks different with a child with mental illness.  kevi tore up our comfort corner a couple times and it really upset shae- who helped set up the blankets and pillows.  so he uses his own bed in his own room.
shae and jess use our comfort corner - it is in my room- so they can get away from the hustle and bustle of the daycare, and big family- there is a basket of books- a bean bag and a rocking chair.  jess uses it to settle to sleep- shae uses it to escape kevi. 

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: Titus2Momof4 on January 18, 2007, 09:24:08 AM
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Now that my girls have real BEDS in their rooms (which has required some rearranging) I am thinking of buying them one of those recliner type chairs (child sized) for their bedroom to serve as a CC. Ds got the Cars squishy chair that converts into a car for him to "drive" for his birthday, and that is perfect for a CC for him in his room, though. I would like to set up a small book supply, next to the CC's though. We have never had a proper CC, if that's what you are asking...we have used me mostly, but also the recliner. But I feel like I want a CC that is in their *rooms* so that they have a place to go to, that is away from the "action".

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: blessed2mothr4 on January 18, 2007, 10:29:06 AM
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yah, we do the bedroom thing too..  they seem to calm down best there as well.  maybe I'll turn it into a reading corner

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: joyful mama on January 18, 2007, 11:03:04 AM
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we have a corner on the couch (we have a huge wraparound) with a bunch of care bears. I need to put a soft blanket back there  . but we don't use it very often. they both prefer me stroking there hair, rubbing their backs and rocking. Sometimes if my oldest reallly needs to chill she goes to her room for a minute or two...

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: GodChick on January 18, 2007, 11:15:46 AM
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We have a "portable cuddle corner."  It's a bunch of lovies and comforting things in a large tote bag.  When I tried to keep a CC set up, my DD1 kept walking off with all the items in there and carrying them all over the house, and it kind of lost its significance.  So we've got lovies and a cuddle blanket and quiet things they like to finger and play with in a tote bag.  When they need it, we get it out, turn on some nice music and DD can cuddle up with her cuddle blanket and lovies anywhere. 

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: calmom on January 18, 2007, 11:55:03 AM
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When Cutie is really upset, she runs to her room and feels better calming down in there.  Otherwise she sits near us or with us until she calms down.
My older dd escapes to her bed.  It's up and away from her sister so she doesn't get bugged.

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Title: Re: For those who are not new at GBD (cuddle corner ??)
Post by: hakujin on January 21, 2007, 12:08:53 AM
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we have a big Love Sac bean bag thing that we use.  Its big so we fit comfortably and we cuddle with a blanket and talk.


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