Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

I heard a comment in church today (by a member...not over the pulpit) about a child's crying for food being indicative of a sinful nature. :mad Wonder if he'd think an adult going to the refrigerator when he's hungry, is proof of a sinful heart. :doh

Are there any denominations or large church groups that actively promote gentle parenting? My church doesn't usually promote harsh parenting, but neither does it actively refute it or offer a lot of grace-based teaching.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

:popcorn

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

This question comes up a lot (but is always a good question!) and I think that the general consensus is that it really varies from church to church more than denomination to denomination. I think one of the keys that you can look at is how a denomination handles the issue of human feelings. If human feelings are considered sinful as a rule and something to be subjugated and controlled (i.e. 'happy is the only acceptable emotion) then that probably ISN'T going to be a grace based oriented denomination.

I think you'd have the best luck in a demonimation that acknowledges that all need grace and that life is a process of falling and helping each other up.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

The United Methodist Church has taken a stance against corporal punishment. They are the only protestants that I know with that kind if stance. It is not a perfect statement, but a big step in the right direction:
http://www.umc-gbcs.org/site/apps/nl...243&ct=8534005
http://www.nospank.net/swan.htm

Several Catholic churches have made a similar statement :)

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

more liberal, liturgical denominations (ones that include/expect babies in worship) like the ELCA and PCUSA.
I've been to Grace Based parenting classes at both ELCA churches & LCMS churches

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Our Vineyard church would never endorse or have Pearl/Ezzo classes and promote it and are big on grace for adults and children but hasnt taken a stand about corporal punishment either.In all the years I have been associated with this denom. I have not ever heard that a child needed to be spanked or quiet during worship (if a baby or toddler cries they usually take them out for a little while) and the kids feel free to kind of run and dance and wander around even during the message

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Yes, my neighbors are ELCA pastors, and they are horrified at the thought of punitive parenting being taught in church.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

I attend an LCMS (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod) church, and while I don't think they take a stand on corporal punishment, their publishing house prints a series of pamphlets for new parents at different stages of their child's life. The infant pamphlet promotes responsive parenting--meeting needs as they arise. The toddler pamphlet encourages parents to see the "no" stage as a sign of developing independence, not as a sinful afront to authority. I think these are hopeful signs. :yes Of course, the parenting climate will vary from congregation to congregation. Babies are welcome in our services, and our pastor suggests that families with small children sit up front so the kids can see what is going on.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Can you tell me what ELCA stands for?

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

---------- Post added at 03:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:38 PM ----------

Grace-based parenting fits in *perfectly* with Lutheran doctrine - it's actually how I got my dh on board with GBD in the first place. He went from mainstream punitive to GBD through discussions of the underlying theology, and is just as against punitive Christian teachers as I am (they invariably distort the Gospel in their attempts to justify their position).

But, alas, while GBD is a great practical outworking of Lutheran theology - and certainly Lutheran pastors aren't preaching "Thou shalt spank" sermons - my experience as a life-long Lutheran (LCMS) is that we largely match the larger culture wrt to most culture-driven beliefs/traits (as opposed to having a deliberate counter-culture). And that, ime, has meant mainstream punitive, along with a general sense of approval of Dobson :sigh, which largely reflects the larger culture of the places in which I've lived. There seems to be this huge disconnect, where Lutherans preach grace so very, very well, but then just adopt the default Christian and/or conservative method of discipline, and *never* *ever* realize that the latter contradicts the former :banghead.

However, the grace-filled Lutheran theology has, ime, moderated greatly the actual practice of child-rearing. To hear my parents talk, they are straight up adversarial Dobson fans. But they actually pretty much GBD'd us :shrug3. While I am in the minority at my church with GBD, no one looks down on me for it, and everyone agrees (to my face, at least) that it is a legitimate approach, even if they don't believe it to be the best approach, and I rarely see examples of punitive parenting at church, whatever their stated philosophy.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

I our experience the Eastern Orthodox church has been very graceful towards children. I also really like that there is no nursery, and all the little old ladies smile when my kids act like children. :melt

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

*Our* Vineyard is all about graced based parenting - but that's because DH & I are! But we've always made it very clear that we're opposed to corporal punishments - to the point that I had a mom (who does spank, the only one in our little fellowship) tell her DS the other day "Please behave, you know Miss Heather doesn't want me to spank you around her - it makes her very upset!" ;)

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Dude. How did you respond to her?? She threatened her kid, and made him responsible for your feelings & his own mother's actions all at once. :doh Co-dependent parenting at its worst. Yuck.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

The A/G church generally follows the Dobson line of thought.
Thankfully,that is rarely if ever a part of my churh experience

The emphasis on grace is dominant,but the application to children has not stretched to publicly denounce punitive parenting.

I love how the pastor soothes the little ones from the pulpit or makes a little joke so the parent is not as embarrassed.
A/G is Assembly of God,a Pentecostal denom.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

That's kinda funny because I was first exposed to Ezzo and the Pearls rampantly in practice through my MOPs group which was at a Vineyard church that held Ezzo classes. :scratch

---------- Post added at 01:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:16 PM ----------

We also attend a Lutheran-Missouri Synod church and have viewed GBD as the norm in theological terms. I have never heard anyone within the church advocating for anything but that, and all the Concordia Publishing House publishings that I have ever read are in support of GBD. They make an insert for bulletins called "Good News for Families" that our last congregation used that is very GBD across all ages and situations. I have encountered the few parents w/in our churches who do spank, but
they are not out promoting it as the church's way, just using it as their own way of raising their children. Since all our pastors take both greek and hebrew in seminary and most devote quite a bit of time to study of scripture and generally review any materials used in bible studies and such, it would really really shock me if anything like Ezzo or another misinterpretation of scripture would enter the scene in an LCMS church, and in fact could lead to church discipline for choosing such misleading materials.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

I was going to say that ime, the UMC has been a fan of not spanking. Ours does encourage use of time outs, grounding and such, but it's a start.

I think that unless there is an official stance- this is going to vary church by church (not just with AoG) In this area- the AoG churches love Pearl, Ezzo, and Tripp.It was the first time I ever heard of them.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Yes the one we attended was very into pearl ezzo tripp and spanking -shaming

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Holy Moly, I had no idea that the AOG churches followed Pearl, Ezzo, and Tripp. YUCK!!!

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

See it does vary from pastor to pastor - church to church.Our AoG here would NEVER have and support those kinds of classes.Pastor very young and he & his wife have 6 kids and are pretty AP minded and grace based

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

That alone makes me want to change churches...

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

:yes And when I read On the Upbringing of Children by Elder Porphyrios... :heart Awesome, awesome. :heart

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

:popcorn
I think we might try Lutheran churches. We have been very unhappy at our SBC. :( no grace there AT ALL. :(
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

We go to the Church of Christ, and they preach grace and forgiveness and love, but apparently only for adults. The kids have very nice sunday school classes and bible hour classes, but I've been very nervous about leaving my children in the care of people who think it's okay to hit children. Not that I think they would, but it's just that mindset, you know? I haven't been to church in over 2 months. Lately because I've been sick, but mostly because I just don't know if I even want to go to this church anymore. Thankfully they don't teach Pearl, but they do teach Dobson. I have also talked to several members and they are all pro spanking. It just makes me very uneasy. And there is NO way my husband would ever go to a different church. So we're kinda stuck there :(

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

We're Anglican (Episcopalian). My favorite homily/sermon a couple of years ago started off with the definition of discipline - that it means to disciple, or to teach, not punish. :rockon Our childrens' Sunday Paper has a note to parents on the back on how to talk about that week's Gospel Lesson and if it's about discipline, or behavior, it supports GBD. I love my church. :heart

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

I love this article and it has definitely kept me very humble. Definitely a plank and splinter issue for me. I love being Eastern Catholic.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

Oh man, I feel the same way as the bolded, except that we attend an NABC. We have a mom at our church who passes out TTUAC like it's candy AND the pastor and his wife use it. :sick But DH absolutely would not entertain a discussion of us changing churches. I love everything about our church except that the Pearls seem to be infiltrating it. :(

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

This has really been my experience too. Growing up in the LCMS, my family's church was very pro-Dobson. But our current congregation just finished a Grace-Based Parenting class and is starting a new series from Kevin Leman. From what I could find of him here, he's at least on the decent list. This is a very large LCMS congregation with a lot of people with child-development backgrounds. I think that might make a difference.

Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
 

You will find very punitive parents everywhere.....:cry
However, the UMC has put it on the record that we are NOT in favor of corporal punishment.
This means, for one thing, that the Pearls' books are NOT welcome in our church library. (Of course, the fact that [ahem, cough, cough] this woman named [ahem, cough, cough] Zooey is the librarian also tends to keep their poison out of members' hands.