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-   Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/forumdisplay.php?f=421)
-   -   Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=346184)

katiekind 02-15-2010 07:25 AM

Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
One adopted daughter is dead, another is in critical condition but expected to survive. The parents, who also have another adopted daughter and 6 biological children have been charged with murder and torture, and also according to one article, a lesser count of cruelty has been entered against them because of injuries to their ten-year-old son.
http://www.paradisepost.com/news/ci_14378467
http://www.chicoer.com/news/ci_14371777
http://www.chicoer.com/ci_14388171?source=most_viewed

Quote:

[District Attorney] Ramsey said he is also exploring a possible connection to a Web site that endorses "biblical discipline" using the same rubber or plastic tube alleged to have been used to whip the two young ridge girls by their adoptive parents.
:sick

:pray2 God....please teach your people better ways to parent their children! Please help the other children in the family as they go through this terrible ordeal. Please heal them all in body and spirit.

Wonder Woman 02-15-2010 07:41 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
it literally made my stomach church when I read the follow-up article :cry Of course it's the Pearls...http://www.khsltv.com/content/localn...b2Dx8U_gA.cspx - who apparently have No Greater Joy than to know that babies everywhere are being whipped in their name :sick :cry

I *know* that they don't condone murder, at least not the kind that leaves a 7 year old adopted child in cardiac arrest because she couldn't pronounce "pulled". :bheart But what about the murder of the spirit? What about the emotional death so many children experience at the hands of well-intentioned parents? :cry

I literally don't have the words to pray...

TestifyToLove 02-15-2010 07:50 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Sadly, I flat-out called that one when I saw this situation in the In The News forum. The plumbing tubing was a dead giveaway.

Micheal Pearl should be proud. He can officially count 2 deaths of the most vunerable of vunerable to his 'parenting' practices. North Carolina tried to prosecute him for little Shawn's death several years ago. They certainly subpeonaed him and clearly showed he was the main influence in his adoptive mother's discipline tactics.

Pearl's parenting is dangerous and abusive for ALL children. But, you take a parent and tell them that they are under Biblical orders to discipline this way...then hand them a child they have NO attachments to, and you write that child's death sentence.

With attachment, even abusive parents feel a conviction to stop short of death usually. In older child adoption, attachment is SOOO hard to form. This child is a stranger in your home, yet you are expected to call yourself parent. In the best of situations, its a scary yet thrilling dance to attach with this fully formed person. If you start HITTING them, they WILL retreat and will not attach. And, now you are responsible for a child who sees you not merely as a stranger but a monster. And, you rise to that monster with no small voice inside of you that tells you BACK AWAY FROM THE PLUMBING TUBING. In short, you create RAD, you teach them to fear, to cringe and that response causes you to hit harder because that is precisely the 'heart issues' Pearl tells you to discipline out of them. And, eventually they are simply dead, you have beaten them to death nothing can be done to stop it.

Micheal Pearl should face homocide charges for these deaths. He should be locked away and his materials and website should be handled in the same manner is child pornography. It is just as vile and dangerous to children, but especially to adopted children.

Teribear 02-15-2010 07:52 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
WHEN LORD? When are these people who condone abuse and do so in your name going to be held accountable? I know that you will hold them accountable for the damage they have done in your name and that is a fearsome thing but I'm still human enough to want some justice done in THIS life for the the children who they have caused to be hurt and the cycle that this perpetuates. I pray for their conviction...both in the meaning of the word that means their becoming aware of the sin they are perpetrating and in the meaning of the word that they are prosecuted in our human courts for their part in these child murders.

Amen

TestifyToLove 02-15-2010 08:02 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Slight correction, he spelled his name Sean, not Shawn, ftr. And, the Pearls were responsible for his death 4 years ago now.

peacefullone 02-15-2010 08:05 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
:( :pray4

MomtoJGJ 02-15-2010 08:10 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I posted one of the articles on my facebook... that's just sick... even before when I was punitive I couldn't see hitting children with anything other than my hand... that's just wrong no matter how you view it... plain abusive.

It probably will cause a big debate on my facebook, if it doesn't it will be because some of the people on there will deny that this is the same thing they are doing.

peacefullone 02-15-2010 08:11 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I couldn't get the link to work well on my pc.

katiekind 02-15-2010 08:27 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
The DA, at the end of the article Wonder Woman linked, talks about even the No Greater Joy people pointing out that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed....

Quote:

Ramsey is quick to point out that followers of No Greater Joy do not advocate spanking to the point of serious injury.

"Even the Tennessee pastor that espouse hitting children right from infancy says that you must watch that you don't cross the line. Clearly this is a situation where the line was crossed from discipline... to beating... to murder," said Ramsey.
http://www.khsltv.com/content/localn...b2Dx8U_gA.cspx
"Crossing the line" is clearly very subjective.

Harder thinking needs to be done than platitudes like "you have to watch that you don't cross the line". What do you say about lines defined by a guy whose starting point is weird and crazy to begin with? His followers might not be well-equipped to notice where normal parents would draw the line.

In the situation with these girls, one girl died from heart failure and the other girl suffered kidney failure caused by the chemical breakdown of her muscle tissue -- at least that's what one of the articles said. (I am horrified and shuddering at being so specific. I am sorry, mommas.)

How would a spanking parent know where those lines are?

This is all so grotesque, so inverted from the way of Jesus.

TenderLovingWillow 02-15-2010 08:41 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
The thing is though, if you truely use the wepon the way the Pearls say to, that so called line, isnt really there.. Sure, they would never say murder your child.. But they DO say to spank until the child is "repentant" And initiates healing the relationship. If they don't do that, or they continue to cry, you are supposed to continue to spank... How is that not advocating things like this?????? :sick :sick :sick :mad :mad :mad

Teribear 02-15-2010 08:42 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Just read that the three adopted children were from Liberia...and thought of our moms here that have beautiful Liberian children. Somehow that makes it so much more "personal" to me today. Those poor little ones.

yellowheart 02-15-2010 08:58 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I just scanned this thread....don't have the emotional strength to read through all of it right now...:sick

Aerynne 02-15-2010 09:06 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
:sick

Things like that give homeschooling a bad name, too, if that's all people read about homeschooling. Those kids would definitely be better off in public school than at home. At this point, however, at least hopefully the other kids will be put into better homes.

mamamonkey 02-15-2010 09:19 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I have to admit, I was not familiar with the Pearls prior to reading this thread. I went to their website to educate myself a little further about their viewpoint and I am simply sickened :sick.

One of the articles on the website under child training mentions a "child training marathon" in which the father was instructed to spank a child until he stopped crying. I agree with Mrs Chris..how does that not tacitly advocate things like this?? :mad

Wonder Woman 02-15-2010 09:26 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I just blogged about it here: http://mommypress.com/rebecca/this-m...-cry-today.htm

katiekind 02-15-2010 09:42 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Quote:

The thing is though, if you truely use the wepon the way the Pearls say to, that so called line, isnt really there.. Sure, they would never say murder your child.. But they DO say to spank until the child is "repentant" And initiates healing the relationship. If they don't do that, or they continue to cry, you are supposed to continue to spank... How is that not advocating things like this??????
I think you're right, Jennie. Saying that there is a line is protective for the Pearls. I am not sure how useful it is for parents and children. This is so sad.

TuneMyHeart 02-15-2010 09:53 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I agree, there's no line when you're relying on someone else telling you how to parent. :shrug

Synesthesia 02-15-2010 10:09 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I have had enough. Pearl's tactics are abuse. Plain and simple. He advocates for abuse towards women and children and it's got to be stopped. It can't be allowed! It's as bad as honor killings or FGM and some group of people say, "But it's our religion." No, there's nothing religious about hurting children! Especially children who are already vulnerable. I'm already mad enough about this culture of abuse in the black community and everywhere else. It has got to stop. This guy must be dragged out and exposed for what he is and stopped!

thrillofhope 02-15-2010 10:49 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I shouldn't have read this. :( Thank you Lord that that little girl is with you where no one can hurt her anymore. Please protect Your children... All of them.

I agree with whoever said that this makes homeschooling look bad too.

Eowyn 02-15-2010 11:31 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by *Mrs_Chris* (Post 2901616)
The thing is though, if you truely use the wepon the way the Pearls say to, that so called line, isnt really there.. Sure, they would never say murder your child.. But they DO say to spank until the child is "repentant" And initiates healing the relationship. If they don't do that, or they continue to cry, you are supposed to continue to spank...

Exactly. And then it becomes the child's fault because if they had only repented, they wouldn't have needed to be spanked/whipped/beaten until it got far enough to kill them. :sick2

ThreeKids 02-15-2010 11:53 AM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
When you get into this creepy concept of "defiance" or whatever it is these parenting methods claim to be responding to, you also get into situations, where, if a parent should realize they are wrong partway into "correcting" a child, they have to continue because the parenting methods don't allow them to take any input from the child as evidence they were wrong. Even reasoning from the child is to be taken as evidence the defiance is still there so nothing can stop the cycle unless the child can somehow fake repentance.

I can just imagine this child may have even tried to fake repentance at some point, but there was just no way to follow up with a correct pronunciation if she COULDN'T and the parents wouldn't take any amount of endurance on her part as evidence she couldn't from the beginning lest she "win".

mrsd 02-15-2010 12:03 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
How much longer will this go on?

jarofclay 02-15-2010 12:16 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
:sick :sick :sick :bheart :bheart

hopeforchange 02-15-2010 12:16 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
:bheart :cry

mrsd 02-15-2010 12:28 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
I wonder if the Pearls are aware of this.
They teach to beat a child until he/she stops crying. These children are silenced forever.:(

Susan K 02-15-2010 12:29 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Heartbreaking.

charla 02-15-2010 01:33 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
This is just so sickening and heartbreaking. :sick :bheart When will people understand how dangerous it is to follow Pearl? I worry about children I know whose parents follow this man and his teachings. :cry:cry:cry

joyousTXmama 02-15-2010 08:25 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TestifyToLove (Post 2901511)
:sick:sick:sick:sick:sick:sick:sick
Micheal Pearl should face homocide charges for these deaths. He should be locked away and his materials and website should be handled in the same manner is child pornography. It is just as vile and dangerous to children, but especially to adopted children.



:mad:mad:mad:mad:mad:mad:mad
:sick:sick:sick:sick:sick:sick:sick

What I want to say about those human beings who have promoted these horrid child rearing practices, I cannot in good faith say on a public forum.

I don't even know how to pray for this, it makes me so angry... but I will pray nonetheless.

happyhousewife 02-18-2010 12:40 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
It is just unbelieveable that there are parents following them. :sick :sick
Those poor children. :cry :bheart
I was never a follower either. I dont know of anyone what follows them persay but I think most of the parents in my church are punitive. I cant even imagine actually going to a hardware store and buying plumbing line to beat a child. :hunh
:bheart

hey mommy 02-18-2010 12:55 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
You know, we can prosecute the Pearls here on earth, but won't stop anything. Yeah, it would give justice to those poor babies that have been abused b/c of his methods. But the truth is, Michael Pearl has to face God one day. And he's going to get to heaven and say "Look, I did what you wanted me to do! I saved children's souls" and God is going to say "NO, you did not. That was not my work. That was horrible. Sorry. goodbye".

That's how I look at it anyway.

Synesthesia 02-18-2010 04:15 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
We should try to stop him on earth anyway. What kind of person walks up to an 11 month old and HITS him with a switch? Then he says, "I was trying to make friends with him." Dude could have just poured out the coins on the floor and played with the kid instead of hitting him. WHY do people follow that guy's advice? I'd never listen to a word he says.

pookel 02-20-2010 05:18 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Those poor little girls. :(

katiekind 02-21-2010 06:31 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Here's a blog post from someone who knew the parents and attended Lydia's funeral. I like the tone she takes and I thought you all might find it helpful in a way to read her perspective. She's just as bewildered as any of us--more so, I'm sure. But I appreciate her tone so much. She also posted in the comments thread on my blog post about it.

http://lauriemo.blogspot.com/2010/02...speakable.html

FebFaith 02-23-2010 04:52 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
so sad. I went through a Pearl phase when I was given the book by a friend. "..but for the grace of God go I. " I feel sick reading this.

"God, please bring the parents and children involved here to fully understand
Your love and grace. Bring healing to them. In Jesus' name I pray."

Hermana Linda 02-23-2010 05:39 PM

Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
 
Linda, I'm so glad the Holy Spirit gave you the discernment to see the wrong in that. :hug2


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