Am I going about this wrong?
 

I posted a link about the death on my facebook and my Pearl-ite friend responded with a quote from the Pearls about loving your children before training them and having a good relationship with them and how this death has nothing to do with their material. I was like well, we could swap Pearl quotes all day long so I just didn't say anything. Then she retaliated and posted a ton of quotes from this amish-type guy (very much Michael Pearls twin, beard and all) on "training" your children. :sick She even commented on a picture of his daughters about how "blessed" they are and how she wishes she were his daughter (she is a married woman!). :hunh

Anyways, I saw a woman commented on a link my friend posted on "Training Your Children". The woman said spanking was not biblical and she was immediately attacked with rod scripture verses. So, I had to comment to back her up (I later found out it was my friend's mother. Poor grandma doesn't want her one year old grandbaby being switched in the name of Jesus anymore!). I said that spanking is not biblical and that if you look at the original hebrew language the word used is na'ar which means adolescent boy. I even offered to buy my friend the Samuel Martin book - Thy Rod And Thy Staff. Then they said... well, they said a lot of things as you can imagine. about how I am wrong about God :snooty (I said He is patient with us and doesn't give us the same physical consequence for every sin committed) and that I must have some sort of demon spirit telling me that there is a flaw in scripture, and that we shouldn't have to look to the Hebrew language to understand scripture correctly. :-/ Someone also responded saying there are other meanings for na'ar than just adolescent boy (actually they got mad at me for saying "adolescent boy" saying there isn't such a thing...). I didn't respond to that, I couldn't think up a response that would be well received by those viewing translators above original authors.

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything... it just breaks me heart to hear things like this. And I know if the Mama would have just read something GBD before TTUAC it would be so different (she is totally on board with all other AP things). Its very scary the place the Pearls have in her heart. Should I have gone about it a different way? Taken a different approach? I thought the whole na'ar thing was pretty foolproof. :shrug3
:bheart

From now on I'm going to purpose to give any expecting mama (even those I just know through the internet, like this mama was) a GBD book in hopes of saving her from this poison. :cry

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

((HUGS)) It is SO sad what Christian's have come to believe as parenting "truth". So sad.

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

I don't think you went about it *wrong* I think that people often have a hard time seeing that the 'way they believe' about something is SOOO VERY WRONG. Maybe you planted some seeds. Pray for her and her children. :hugheart:pray4

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

:hugheart I'm sorry for you and for poor heartbroken grandma :cry

My only suggestion is that your gut is wise. I probably would have posted in response to her on your page exactly what you were thinking. "We could swap quotes from this man all day. If he only wrote in line with what you've chosen to post I would agree with you. It's all the other stuff about how hard and how often to tempt them and hit them that leaves me believing there is no way to spin this in his favor."

And I jump in sometimes even when the odds are against me. Someone else reading always needs it. :heart At least grandma knows she isn't alone :heart

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

I don't think you went about it wrong, either. One person may have a hardened heart, but many others may be quietly moved in a positive direction because of your bravery in standing up for your beliefs.

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

:hug2 It's tough to stand up and say something. Thank you for doing it. :clap :hug2

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

I think you did well, especially if her mom needed some support. While she may not want to hear it from you, you may be giving the support the grandma needs to continue reaching out to her daughter with the truth that is in the scripture.

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

Hang in there, girl...you did good.
Changing one's view on child rearing sometimes takes time to even be able see the whys and how GBD works. Keep reinforcing GDB with patience and love. Jesus did with his disciples...so with God's help, we can do it with other adults we encounter.
:heart

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

:hug2I hate getting caught up in those conversations myself sometimes. I think praying for her, and for the right words to say to her if the opportunity comes up, would go a long way. God can move in mighty ways, including changing the heart of your friend.

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

:hugheart The Holy Spirit works on people in his timing. It's our job to speak, but it's his job to change people's hearts. :heart

I think you did fine. :)

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

I say keep trying. Yes, you're supposed to love and connect to your children, but you don't do that with all of that stupid, antiquated, outmoded hitting and fear! The love stuff is the honey, and that hitting, the oleander. Folks need to cast that aside and treat children like the treasures they are!

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

I totally agree with Mary, it's not YOUR job to convince them, it's simply your job to speak truth and let GOD worry about their hearts.

When discussing spanking with someone who takes a theological view of spanking, I tend to speak in realms of accurate Scriptural interpretation. In truth, the spanking doctrine is based upon a few individual scriptures in Proverbs and one word of one verse in Hebrews. You cannot build an entire doctrine based upon a book of the Bible from which absolutely no other command is introduced or given, and is in fact a book of Poetry. :shrug3

Having said all of that...if their response to your well thought out and reasoned rebuttal was that obviously you must be demonically oppressed; my guess is that actual logic isn't really coming into play here :shifty

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

Everyone always shoots down my translation of "na'ar," and I'm no translation expert, so I've just quit bringing that one into it. :( But according to everyone else on another board I'm on, "na'ar" can be used for any male before adulthood, even a baby.

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

Um, that cannot possibly be legal... or logical ><

No such thing as an adolescent boy?

Re: Am I going about this wrong?
 

I'm guessing the argument is that the concept of "adolescence" is a more modern term, that in Biblical times once a male reached what we now think of as adolescence they were seen as an "adult".