vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

This is really probably not worth posting about ... but

A year or so ago friends of ours that were pregnant were at our place and the Dh picks up Biblical Parenting and says something along the lines of 'I couldn't read that book with that author" (nevertheless they got into BW - despite a lot of conversations with her and lending of books)

Two things - Crystal is a woman & a pastor :banghead :banghead :banghead

Not on the topic of women pastors...but women as experts on child rearing???

WHY AREN'T women the experts on everything children????

Instead let's just discount (or not even consider) something a woman says because they are emotional creatures and are led by their fleeting emotions... :mad


To me the fact that most Christian parenting books are written by men just makes me roll my eyes...and :hissyfit ...I dunno why but women follow the teaching of men about parenting (about breastfeeding :hunh) because they are male and 'better' or more in authority - or something

I know when I had DS I learnt something that I never knew and that was how my own baby's cries made me respond in a way I'd never known - I have had a lot to do with other babies and their crying didn't 'bother' me - but I learnt as soon as I had DS that there is a God-given difference in response to your own baby's cry. Does my DH understand this? Not unless I talk to him about it and even then he doesn't experience the same thing...yes they do have their own attachments and the father child relationship is important - but a MAN telling women about the MOTHER child relationship - just doesn't make sense.... :hissyfit

Okay I am over it now... :O

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

You're right - it makes no sense. Especially when the Bible tells the older women to teach the younger women.

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

Related to that, I recommend this article for some mommy-inspiration:
http://www.fix.net/~rprewett/womantowoman.html

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

What a gem his wife found! :laughtears Kinda reminds me of a episode of West Wing when one character finds out his 'wife' (long story), who is pregnant with twins is on Air Force One with him. As part of his little 'daddy fit' about all his concerns, he says "how can you fit in a seat, you're the size of a mini-van." At this point everyone stops what they are doing and stares and the 'wife' says "oh, no, ladies, I saw him first." with dripping sarcasm of course.

He is wrong, and I would say 'ill-informed' but I suspect it lines up with is own bias and information is not an issue. It's very telling that he would pick up a book in your home and bash it to you - not high on sensitivity is he? So other than some prayers for his wife and children, I would just consider the source.

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

:yes
He is a very traditional husband and her very submissive wife - funny too because they are very young. He didn't actually say that about women - but it was the intent, kwim?

Thanks heaps for that article :tu - who is the author? Has she written any books or was this more like a blog?

A great read - I wish I could give it to every woman I know!!!

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

For Her Own Good: 150 Years of the Experts' Advice to Women
http://www.amazon.com/Her-Own-Good-E.../dp/0385126514

I've been reading this, and it'd just amaze you how women were forced to give up their expertise.

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

Well, I'll be totally honest here--I'm not 100% sure how I feel about female pastors. And, in our search for a more local church, I have rejected a couple that had female pastors. It's also not something I've very thoroughly researched either, but is kinda "the way I was brought up", so I don't tend to flock to churches w/female pastors.

That being said... I tend to "forget" that Crystal is a pastor. I never really remember it until it gets brought up (like this thread). Instead, I think of her as an author, and greatly value what she has to say as a disciplinarian/child expert. Nevermind whether she's a pastor or not :shrug I still appreciate what she has to say about kids and discipline. Frankly, it doesn't really matter. When I come here asking for questions about discipline and my kids, I'm not thinking "ohhhh now she's a female pastor, ignore her" :rolleyes I'm thinking "ok here's a good point, that's a good idea, I'm glad to hear that my kids are normal :giggle"

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

Yeah - I hear you - it's not the issue of women pastors - it's that women are overlooked as the experts in the field of parenting, mothering....or just aren't -I know a lot more authors on parenting (in Christian circles - particularly) who are male :/

That book - "For her own good" looks really interesting :yes will have to see if I can get it through the library

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

Oh I know what you mean. And you're right, think about it: Pearl, Ezzo, Tripp, Dobson..........all men! Of course Sears is a man too :giggle But I don't think a woman should be discounted on *parenting* of all things, just because she's a woman. :rolleyes

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

but with Sears, it's written with a heavy dose of Martha thrown in...

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

And isn't it the Titus 2 woman who is to be teaching the younger women ... to me, that would include parenting advice. :shrug If your friend doesn't want to read Crystal's book, his wife can (based on his "definitions"). ;)

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

Well I was gonna say that... but then I think pearls books have quite a bit written by Debi too? I thought anyway, I could be wrong.

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

:yes

I find with Sears that his approach is different too - :/ would you agree?

I guess I think if men DO want to learn about parenting - esp young children - then why shouldn't they read or ask women???

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

True, but Michael has editting rights over what Debi writes. With the Sears, it seems like Martha's experiences are really valued, not like she's being told what to write by her dh.

Re: vent *why can't women be the experts???
 

I think it probably has to do with the "medicalization of childbirth". When male doctors decided they wanted to take over the tradition role of mid-wives and deliver babies, it was probably a natural progression that male doctors would then become the experts on child rearing as well. Or a theory from another topic I read recently that applies, is that in the private sphere, women perform the role, but the "public sphere" people (the experts) are men. For example, in the privacy of the home, it is typically the woman's role to cook dinner but when it is done in the public sphere then it is the man's role (chefs in restaurants, BBQing outside, etc).

I think Crystal makes a great expert. It is that guy's own feeling of inadequancy, that blinds him to that.