Re: Why not time outs?
:tuThank you!! I lot to think about! Actually, we have used a version of this and not realized it.
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Re: Why not time outs?
I am trying to jump back in where traditional time outs have been used and change them to comfort corner.
Time outs arn't working but am still not sure on the comfort corner idea. I mean, if ds (4) hits me or another family member, What do I say? :shrug Do I say maybe it is time to sit in your corner? How can I let him know that it is not ok to hit/hurt/spit yet not have him go, "oh mum just got me to sit down, I can do the wrong behaviour again."??? Is there a place where I can find out the answers to these questions??? Jen *confused |
Re: Why not time outs?
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I would not suggest the comfort corner for a child who hit. I'd say "Hitting hurts. It's not respectful". If necessary, I'd remove the child from play. I'd find out why they hit and help them find another way to handle the same situation the next time. I'd practice that solution with the child. I'd encourage (strongly, as they get older) an apology. The comfort corner is not a *substitute* for a time out. It's an alternative philosophy. I'd use a comfort corner for a child who is wound up, amped up, or their emotion is so big they are having trouble behaving appropriately. It would not be to punish, or for them to think about what they need. But a place to calm, to regroup, to gather and collect the inner resources to do better. Let's say you make a series of mistakes with your husband. What would work better with you? 1) You get a lecture, a consequence (he doesn't take you to dinner) or attention withdrawn? or 2) He explain why what you did hurt or angered him and gives you time and space to take a bath, read, call a friend, pray? Children do and learn better when the environment around them is warm, positive and loving. They don't have to be made to feel bad in order to do good. |
Re: Why not time outs?
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The comfort corner is for when I can see he is emotional or might get grumpy enough to hit. It is a way to calm him down before the situation occurs? And when I do something that is not liked. I get the opportunity to collect myself rather than get told off? That makes sense. I think. It might take a while. Thankyou Joanne. Sorry if I am asking too many questions. Jen |
Re: Why not time outs?
:hug not too many questions
it might be helpful to spend some time reading old threads here to get a better idea of tools & such my site www.aolff.orgmay help also :) |
Re: Why not time outs?
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Re: Why not time outs?
Can I c/p this to my blog if I give credit?? :heart I'd love to share this with a friend..(or two, or three :P~ )
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Re: Why not time outs?
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Re: Why not time outs?
Thank you very much for very comprehensive way to describe "time-out"s. I am a new Mom trying to understand what grace-based parenting is all about. Your post was helpful :-)
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Re: Why not time outs?
Loved re-reading this. :tu
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Re: Why not time outs?
Same here. Read it to DH - he was nearly in tears because it is so refreshing. :heart GCM
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Re: Why not time outs?
subbing..need to come back to this when I'm more awake :yawn
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Re: Why not time outs?
How do I relate this to our babysitter? :-)
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Re: Why not time outs?
It's a public forum, so you could link her to this page. I loved that this got bumped, I really enjoyed reading it.
:welcome to GCM. |
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