Advice on Rehoming
 

Preface: our decision to rehome is final :( I know this topic really upsets some people, so I'm hoping I can get some thoughts on the actual process of rehoming our seven-year-old cat.



So any advice on HOW to find a good home for her?
And how to make the transition smooth for her?
And what kinds of equipment I should send with her?

I'm taking her to the vet on Thursday to get her one last check-up and make sure all her vaccinations are updated. I'm so sad :( But she's miserable, and we are miserable, and she needs love and attention we can't give. And we need a sanitary house without cat feces and urine in the carpet :(

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

I’ve never rehomed a pet but it seems like talking to your local rescue agency would be a good place to start.

I would ask the vet if it’s possible to start her on some meds for stress to help with the transition. It sounds like she is a pet that doesn’t handle stress well. You might also be able to use Feliway which is a pheromone spray or diffuser that can help stress and problematic behaviors.




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Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Thank you. Awesome advice-- I appreciate it.

She doesn't handle stress well at all :( Good idea asking the vet about meds or pheromone spray (is that okay with a toddler in the house?)

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Rescue agencies can be really critical. They tend not to see kids as being a good enough reason to rehome. I’d use them as a last resort.

I’d start with seeing if you can put up a note at your vets. They might have people who have other pets & they can vouch for both you and the other person.

We rehomed a dog who hated one of my four kids on Kajiji. We met the people, saw where they lived and vetted them in person. It worked out well. He went to live on a literal farm with teenagers. Much better for him.

Rehoming is hard. :(

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Thanks! I'm not in the mood to argue with a rescue agency ;)

Good idea about the vet-- thank you :heart And thanks for sharing your success story!

This situation reminds me of when we had a second cat for a while-- poor Minion was terrorized every second of every day and was SO miserable (this was pre-baby). When we managed to give the second cat back to their original owners about a year later, Minion was SO much happier. I just know she will be happier in a home without kids because I remember what she was like before we had KO, ya know?

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

We got our dog on a FB group. The mom interviewed us. She’d already turned down 2 other people.

My mom gets her cats from a rescue group.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

I can definitely find a FB group :tu Good idea; thank you.

Advice on Rehoming
 

Pheromone spray is just (synthetic?) cat hormones, the type they leave on you when they rub their face on you. So I would presume it’s safe as long as toddle doesn’t ingest it. There is also an herbal calming formula by Nature’s Miracle that amazon has as an add on item for $3 right now. Going to try that for my easily stressed girl who has urinary crystals/frequent and blood tinged urine but doesn’t pee outside her box. She just stops eating or drinking for a week at a time if you bring her to the vet or try to change her food to the prescription diet to help the crystals. :banghead :ph She seems super chill otherwise unless I consider that she took over two months to be okay with our other cats. I’m thinking of asking the vet for some Prozac for her.

Ask around locally. I think a lot depends on your area and the specific rescue. Here I think they would be pretty understanding if a pet just can’t handle children in the home. Where I grew up, they would probably be pretty snotty about it.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Thank you :heart I'll see if I can get my hands on something to calm her as we prepare to transition her.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Would any of your teacher friends be willing to post a flyer or message? I'm thinking that's a good location for finding some people without kids, compared to somewhere like homeschool group.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

That's a good idea :yes Yeah... I definitely need someone without kids :( I'm thinking about local coffee shops and gyms and stuff, too, on their community boards :think But social media is my go-to :giggle

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Have you looked if there are any rescues/adoption centers for senior cats anywhere near you?

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Our vet is also a mother of a young child and is pro-Feliway.

For the litter issue, I didn't see, is the box covered? If so, I'd take the cover off since that is very stressful for some cats. Cat Attract brand litter or additive to current litter should both be helpful.

Nature's Miracle or another enzyme based cleaner will be your best bet for cleaning but for the infant seat, if you aren't discarding, ask the manufacturer for their protocol so warranty and whatnot isn't voided.

For rehoming - FB groups will be great for getting word out. But you might get some ugly backlash so perhaps use an alternate account :shrug3

I would suggest a criteria of: no small children or dogs, ideally no other pets, paying a fee that you will return to them as credit at a vet of their choice.

I would also suggest scooping the box 2x a day (I know this is usually your H's task) so that she's less likely to make messes for you guys to clean and less likely to get in the habit and then be rejected by a new family. Also, consider a second box in another location. We have three cats and adding a box in another room to our current set up has pretty much ended our dumb/stressed/weird cat's inappropriate peeing. It's a drag having a box in our hall bathtub, but it's better than finding stuff that's been peed on.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

We tried to rehome one of our cats a few years ago. Long story short, she had a terrible breakdown when we moved into our current house. She was absolutely miserable. We tried two different meds, and ended up having kore success with Buspar, which we had compounded at a local pharmacy. We were able to eventually wean her off of it. We tried a “calming collar” that released pheromones but didn’t notice a difference for her.

I reached out to one or two rescue agencies suggested by our vet and they were not helpful. They considered her a senior cat at the age of 6-7 years old and told me it would be nearly impossible to find a home for her. I tried posting on our neighborhood fb page and no one responded. I avoided our “city neighborhood” fb page Bc there are some extremely harsh people there.

Ultimately, she did get better and she’s now fine - no meds, no collars, no special food, etc. However, it took our other cat dying for her to fully recover. That’s obviously very different than your situation. So my recommendation is try meds if you’re able to, and see if any rescue agencies around you are more helpful. I’m sorry your cat isn’t adjusting to your baby. It’s tough!


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Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Are there any senior apartments near you? You might check and see if you could post on their bulletin board

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

We have rehomed two animals due to children. Both we had before kids/ Our cat was horribly miserable and refused to come out of the basement where we kept her litter because because he was afraid of our children :bheart my sister took her.

Our dog nipped at our son and my cousin took her. I don't have advice as I didn't have to do any research or much networking but will be praying for you. it was so so hard. :pray4

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

No cover anymore. We took it off forever ago. She did fine with the cover for a while but then started going outside the box.

We literally have zero places we could put a second litter box :( We live in a townhome, and space is already super limited, and KO goes in every other room except DH's office :( When we rented a house, we were able to have two litter boxes (but we also had two cats at the time).

We can try to clean twice a day, but doing it once a day is already a struggle. Maybe Dh and I can work something out, though.

I'm :shrug about online backlash, tbh; I have no qualms unfollowing and blocking people who terrorize me.

Thanks for the ideas! Hopefully something helps while we look for a home for her :heart

---------- Post added at 09:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:19 PM ----------

Thank you so much. It is so hard-- like, all of us are miserable. The cat. DH. Me. Actually, KO loves the cat :giggle But every time she's around, Minion just runs away and refuses to be in our presence :( It's hard to see our sweet kitty so miserable :(

---------- Post added at 09:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:20 PM ----------

Thank you! We are going to the vet tomorrow. I'll ask about rescue agencies... we live in a pretty big city, so maybe there's one that will be helpful?

DH doesn't want to try meds. We're going to have to rehome her regardless (his allergies play into all of this, too...they're bad, y'all). So what the point in meds? <-- his words.

This whole thing is so hard. I feel sick over it.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

My husband would probably feel the same way about the meds, if rehoming was the definite plan. But if you’re not able to immediately rehome her (like rescues won’t take her and you don’t want to take her to the pound) meds might offer some relief for the behavioral symptoms that are bothering you, in the meantime. It’s a tough situation all around. And I’m sure the allergies make it that much harder. I hope you find a great home for her soon.



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Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Thank you :heart
The no-kill shelter is our backup back up plan.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Have you been able to rehome your kitty yet?


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Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Why have you not yet made her an indoor/outdoor cat?

I agree, tell your vet she needs a home without small children. Also, can put an add on Craigslist or your local FB animal page.

If none of that works, then take her to the no kill shelter with a donation.

You've done lots. I would not tolerate a cat peeing/pooping outside the box, they'd get booted out.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

We took 2 cats rehomed from people we know from our children's school. The mother's allergies got to a point where she couldn't take it. I am sorry if people give you a hard time. I totally understand that sometimes you have to rehome for a reason like that, that it is not working for your family. I hope you are able to find a good home for the cat soon.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Many reasons for her not to be an indoor/outdoor cat, with number one being her safety.

The pooping outside the box is literally daily. I can't remember the last time she pooped in her box. It's been at LEAST a year and I think longer :sigh

Thank you for asking! A friend did say he would be happy to take her. He has a male cat, so we discussed trying it on a trial basis (the last time we had another cat, it was a dominant alpha female who bullied her, and we're hoping maybe she'll do better with a chill male cat. Worth a try, and it's someone I know and trust :tu

Thank you :heart So far, we haven't gotten too much flack. It's like people don't understand this has been such a hard decision we've really thought about and we love her and are SO sad to see her go :( But our health is more important :shrug

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Craigslist is not a good option. I believe they stopped allowing live animals to be listed due to animals that we're "adopted" getting used for horrible purposes (medical research, bait for fighting animals). If the no kill shelter won't take her, it would be kinder to humanely euthanize with you there.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

That is so so horrible!

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

I hope the trial basis works out. :hug


We had to do the same thing - I had two 6yo cats I adopted as kittens when I was single. I loved them so much. But as our lives changed... I got married, we moved several times, then the baby came along at the same time as us buying a house and moving yet again... It was too much. We made it 16 months after DD1 was born. Same reasons as you, except the cats didn't limit it to the room where the litter box was. For me, the deciding factor was when I found a huge puddle in DD1's room where she had been crawling earlier that day. My parents were willing to take the cats, thankfully, though they ended up putting one of them down about 2 years later (she never "recovered"). The other cat is now living with my sister at an old age of 14. :-)


Anyway, just wanted to say lots of hugs. It's such a hard decision and I understand how stressful it is. I don't regret rehoming my cats at all, and I do think they were happier after.

Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

Kitty was successfully rehomed to a friend who lives nearby and he said we can visit whenever we want. Hopefully the transition goes ok with his other (male) pets! Thanks for all your advice!


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Re: Advice on Rehoming
 

So glad to hear. Hope all works out well for the new owner!