Homeschooling Gathering
 

If you have a tween or a teen, would you please come chat with me for a bit?

I am wondering why these kids no longer wish to participate in homeschool groups. I am hoping for real, raw, honest opinions.

I live in small farming town community where the only commerce options are usually Dollar General and family owned grocery stores. We are the WV that people "talk about". This is important to note because options for kids are severely limited. Severely.

We are not a coop.

We are a loose group that does things when a parent takes initiative.

My kids like to connect with others, so I have been putting effort into taking that initiative.

So far, I have run open gym along with an activity. The activities have been: making Viking mini weapons, painting a Monet, and a frog dissection.

I have some interest in younger kids. I have one other family with older kids and like thirty member who never show.

Do you think my activities are boring?

Is there a reason why older kids don't want to do anything?

are homeschooling people just difficult....because let us be honest, it can be true.

I have gotten some personal comments, but I don't think people want to be really honest, because it is a small community...we are going to see each other eventually.

The most common comment is...either..my kid just doesn't want to do anything...or, my kid only wants to be with kids his/her exact age. Well, I have a range of kids from 3 to 14, I am not going to leave the young kids at home. My kids are well behaved .... not an issue really.

so, why don't your older kids want to do anything? b/c you won't see me at the local IGA and I really won't take offense....

I am asking so I can try and draw more people out....

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

My kids find some activities fun, but if they are super structured they might find it fun once or twice but regularly: nope.

We don't tend to go to stuff because I don't want to chase toddler the entire time. :O :bag

Also many things have a fee and there are only a few things I am willing or able to pay for right now.

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

Open Gym sounds like fun! I'd do that in the winter if I had the option. I can understand some kids feeling squeamish about dissection, but my girls have done it.

My oldest (12, almost 13) is getting to that phase where she wants social time with her friends and doesn't want to do structured activities, unless it's officially a class. You could have some of that attitude going on - tweens wanting hang out time instead of learning time.

What is your community like? Why do most people homeschool? I think that makes a difference. If they are doing it for religious reasons, that's one thing in a small town. If they are doing it for more academic reasons, that's totally different. They are going to be less influenced by the town culture and more interested in trying new activities.

FWIW, I grew up in a small farming community/college town (we moved there when I was in 2nd grade) where there was absolutely nothing to do, other than the roller rink on the north end of town. Oh, and the movie theater. (When people asked me where I was from I usually asked if they'd seen Footloose. The original one with Kevin Bacon.) But I went to public school. Even then, it was hard to find friends who wanted to do anything I thought was fun. The culture of the town was such that if it smacked of Big City, it was viewed with suspicion. I called it the Land of Ain't Never Been Done. Art, for instance, was too highbrow, despite the academics who lived there taught at the college. They lived in a small town for a reason - they didn't want the stress of the Big City. Could it be a cultural issue rather than a specific activity that you are offering? Perhaps organizing more social time would work out better?

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

thank you for your help! See, I wanted to just do the gym and that would be so much easier on me....but, the ones who came out said they would not come if all I did was the gym.

everything is really relaxed. very, very relaxed.

I appreciate your thoughts ValiantJoy, the mom friend of 8 told me that she did not come out because she really just doesn't want to put the effort into leaving her home.

everything we have done except for the dissection has been low cost.

one thing was almost free...the kids just need to bring their own paint.

various moms have done things over time and people come out sometimes.

people here homeschool for different reasons really. and we never cover religion or lack there of.

I have slacked off of the group in years past because I did not want to do outlandish time consuming projects...so, I picked what I thought was easier things.

I choose to do the dissection b/c I thought most moms would appreciate not having to cover that one and I had taught it before.

when we just do social events the numbers are even lower.

I just don't know. I honestly thought it might be me. But, I am having more success than others, but I would like to ignite the group a bit more.

I really appreciate your thoughts though, I really really do.

---------- Post added at 08:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:54 PM ----------

I am rather wondering if moms of older kids are just over the homeschool group thing and just don't want to deal with it?

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

My oldest is 9 so still in the little kid age, but one of my friends who has an 11year old has been talking about this a lot with me. She is having the hardest time for things for her oldest ( she has 11, 9, 5 and twin who are 2). Around here it seems to be partly a big kids don't want to really do things if there are little ones around. They want big kid only time, which is hard to make happen with siblings. One of the things she has had success with was board games, because you can differentiate ages some by what games are being played where, so the big kids get big kid time.

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Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

yes, one mom told me directly that her boys wanted nothing to do with younger children.

did not even want to have to be near them in fact.

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

What does your 14 yo think?

Does s/he think the activities are interesting?
Does s/he think the tweens/teens interact well?

It sounds like you're doing this alone. I'm curious why none of the other parents have stepped up? If the parents don't have any skin in the game so to speak, the commitment level will never be there. I commend your efforts.

AFA groups we've fizzled from, it's been because the kids don't click. But we've lived in places with many options, so I'm not sure our experience is relevant.

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

all of my kids love going. they love the gym free time and they are enjoying the activities.

the kids do click some...there are some past issues, but so far the kids seem to be getting along well.

the kids that are coming are enjoying it.

yes, I am on my own adventure here. No one has done anything much in a long time, which is why I stepped up. I am not forseeing anyone stepping up any time soon either. I already told everyone that I am taking off the month of May bc mine are in a sport and I need some down time.

---------- Post added at 08:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 PM ----------

the board game idea is a good one.

I will try to use that one and see if I can get good turn out. Thank you!

---------- Post added at 08:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:48 PM ----------

any ideas on how to encourage the other parents to get more skin in the game?

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

Unless it’s a more organized group with clearly laid out expectations, HS parents are kinda flaky. We don’t come because schedule conflicts, weather, and a million other reasons.

For older kids, a park day tends to end up with them breaking off in pairs or small groups if they have similar interests and some of the special needs ones tend to just loiter around. Our group does game days fairly regularly for the older kids, but having younger kids there has been an issue. The very best events for older kids are a Halloween party where there is laser tag and another mom hosts a water party every summer with water balloons and squirt guns and such.


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Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

We were part of a group that just completely fizzled out this year. We were loosely structured and had a game plan for every week all year. People just wouldn't commit. We really wanted to keep the group low key but we think a couple of things happened. One, there was no financial committment to encourage people to actually show up. I've heard this from other people in other areas. This left 2 or 3 of us to do all the work. We burned out fast. :sigh

Another issue was that for the last few years, we had no new members with kids in our age range or younger, so no one to train up. My kids range from 9 - 16. The older ones are happy to help the younger ones but also needed/wanted older kid time. This was difficult to create, in part because the one other family with older kids were VERY inconsistent about coming. This led to my older kids not wanting to come.

It may be that people are just not used to someone planning things. If you are consistent, it may build. Our state hsing advocate says create what you want or need in your community. There are others who want and need similar things. I

I think the board game idea is a great one. :yes For the open gym did you direct games like dodgeball, basketball, etc.? Or did you just let the kids explore? I love the idea of group games with a homeschool group so the kids can learn the basics. Keep trying.

We are now doing nature/outdoor walks a couple times a month. I'm taking my younger two and sharing the location, date & time with friends who have expressed interest. Even if no one comes, we are getting some outdoor time together.

Another reason my older kids don't want to join activities is they now have their own interests AND feel that co-ops etc. make it difficult to complete their lessons. Co-op days took so much time for our family that they could get nothing done and at least one of my kids always felt behind after that.

I hope this helps. :hug

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

I think you nailed it Tickle Momster.

we have also had some power struggles in the past from one mom taking it from another.

that may play into it.

gym was open and kid lead...this seems to be going well so far.

but, yes, it does turn into one mom does it all and then eventually there is enough complaining that the one mom kind of just quits.

I can feel that coming. I don't want to quit for the sake of my kids, but, well...you can imagine.

I do suppose that if I continue it will build. But, it will all be on my shoulders.

---------- Post added at 10:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:54 PM ----------

I have also considered the nature hiking along with starting a nature notebook club or something low key along those lines. It would take off some of the burden of planning so much as well.

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

It's been a tough year for sure. None of our leadership team wanted to make the final call. We finally did about a week ago and a weight has lifted from all of us. We miss time together for sure. We are trying to create playdates instead. It is hard as the kids get older. :hug I'm glad sharing my experience is helpful for you.

Nature walk around here is best in summer for drawing or notebooking, so that's what I'm aiming for this year. On days that the weather doesn't cooperate, we will walk but not draw.

If you can find another mom to share with that will help the burden. Maybe you run the open gym and the other mom can select date, time, & location for nature walk.

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

I stay home for baby's naps.

I stay home because we have to be out and about on the weekends for my husband's sake.

I stay home because I'm tired of being out and about for doctor appointments.

I stay home because my DD has activities many nights.

It's not you, it's me.
HTH.

Your group sounds fun. I needed it when I had two kids under 5.



I really want one, just one, close friend who has kids my kids ages. Who lives close.

We do have a GCM friend who has kids my big kids ages. She just lives hour away.

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

My kids are 11 and 13. We have participated in a coop off and on since they were 3 and 5. In the beginning when they were little it was me mostly making them go so we stopped for a while. Around the age of 8/9 they started to want to attend for the friendship aspect but have never been super excited about the classes. Ds continues to go at 13 because of close friendship since it's our only real outside activity for him. Dd's friends did not come back this year (one is in school, the other just has a busy mom) so she decided not to come. She just didn't feel like she connected with the girls that were still there and we haven't had any new ones in a while. All that to say maybe older kids have already developed friendships outside of organized activities and just don't feel the need. I know hang out time is the only reason my ds is still going. I think a board game activity could be a great idea as it would help break the ice for kids who don't know each other. I also think open gym sounds fun for hanging out. I do think too if at all possible it might be a good idea to try to make a separate activity just for the older ones, not because my kids don't like younger kids but because it just isn't the same. For example in open gym they would have to careful not to hurt the little ones and a basketball game with mixed ages isn't the same as one with a bunch of teenagers.

Other than that it could totally just be the moms. I am an introvert with social anxiety and my limit is one maybe two activities a month. So if I already have those I really don't have it in me to do much else. Since we don't go to church and I don't currently have any other activities where I'm expected to socialize I can handle CoOp. If we were attending church and my kids had youth group I would most likely not participate in Co-op or other homeschool activities.

Re: Homeschooling Gathering
 

thank you. I will be taking a break over the summer from it. I am not sure if I will continue on or not. I have mixed feelings about it and it takes up a lot of time, time that I would rather use elsewhere. And, I know that as soon as I am done, the group is done. And, if there is that little commitment, then, it does give one pause.

but, perhaps I will feel more positive about it come fall. I guess we shall see.