Halloween...
 

I'm totally awful at finding the right place to post. But anyway. Our school (Roman Catholic) is having a Halloween disco tomorrow evening. Our 4 children who attend the school all want to go, and have been discussing what to dress up as - harry potter, a cat, zombie bride etc... But the issue is, we have never ever 'celebrated' Halloween, it's not something I feel easy with and even my DH who is atheist doesn't see the need for them to take part "because all of the other children are going". So I'm just wondering how to deal with this in a gentle way. I don't want the children to be upset or resentful but I also don't want them to think it's something to be involved in. We don't go trick or treating, or answer the door on Halloween either (maybe that's bad/antisocial/Un neighbourly? ? ? ) last year our church had a pizza, popcorn and film night and another local church held a light party for the older children, but this year there isn't anything. I actually dread this his time of year for this particular reason. :-/

Re: Halloween...
 

I agree. We take the kids swimming that night because it was the one thing I figured wouldn't be changed to be scary for Halloween (roller rinks, etc, can be turned in to Halloween parties but pools really can't be). Then we go out for dinner at a semi-fast food place (like Chipotle). I think having a fun tradition of your own to look forward to helps a lot (but not totally! There are still some complaints. Dd1 is disappointed this year). So I would plan something super awesome to do as a family that night that you would all enjoy and that has nothing to do with Halloween.

Re: Halloween...
 

We do participate in Halloween but keep it incredibly low key. TOT at a few neighbour houses and that's it. I totally get why some people choose to not participate at all. We've struggled with it a lot ourselves. I think that if you're uncomfortable with it, then follow that. Like the pp said, maybe start your own fun annual tradition so that the kids have something to look forward to.

Re: Halloween...
 

Ok, that's something we can do on the night (most years we do try to watch a family movie in the dark, with popcorn and treats, but since DC7 was born I've used Netflix more and more to keep the children amused that its not really something very fun as a treat anymore...) but I'm not sure what to do tomorrow evening (27th) when the school are having this disco. I don't mind the discos at other times of the year. But this Halloween thing with all the dressing up and scary stuff (the note from school said some children WILL be wearing masks. WHY???!!!) just doesn't sit right with me. I guess they could go along without being in a costume, but then is that my 'agreeing' to taking part in some way? I feel like I might be thinking far too much about this, infact our 8yo said that i was being "crazy stupid again" :shifty

Re: Halloween...
 

Honestly, I tell my own kids that they just quite frankly need to get used to doing things differently than everyone else. :shrug3 As disciples of Christ, we are going to make different decisions, even sometimes from other believers. Everything works differently for each family. So if it's just the worry about "everyone else is doing it", I would stick to it. If it's not this event it's another, irregardless of Halloween or not.

For example, for us, my children don't particpate in school dances. Period. So for my family the whole event would be a no go even though I have no problem with the Halloween and costume aspect of it.

Re: Halloween...
 

Ok, I've tried that approach. It is literally about spending time with their friends. It's really the 3 middles (10,8,7) who are bothered by not going. Hopefully come the morning they might accept the decision.

Re: Halloween...
 

Could you perhaps plan something special with their friends for another day? We don't celebrate Halloween either, and I'm dreading when ds is old enough to understand what he's missing out on. But we are called to live differently, and often that means going counter-culture. It's hard. I'm very thankful that our church doesn't do Halloween, though we used to have an alternative activity that we haven't had for the last couple years.

Re: Halloween...
 

Honestly, I'm pretty rubbish at sorting anything for them involving friends - birthday parties and stuff like that we just don't do. I suggested that maybe we could have some apple dooking and stuff at home if they wanted (just us, I mean we have 7 that's a party on our own!) but yes apparently I am out to ruin their lives and they are going to get bullied at school tomorrow because of it. Seriously. I'm heading to bed now but hopefully everyone will be calmer in the morning :pray4

Re: Halloween...
 

:hugheart Parenting is hard. I know that I have most definitely been accused of completely ruining my children's lives on multiple occassions. The good news? They're still alive. :lol

Praying that everyone gets a good night's sleep and tomorrow is a better day. Sometimes that all I can do with my own family.

Re: Halloween...
 

My parents were really strict about Halloween when I was growing up (no trick or treating and we could only go to our church's Fall Fest which we thought was super lame) and I was always annoyed with them about it. But I survived!!! Hoping everyone gets a good night's sleep and after the disco is over they move on quickly.

Re: Halloween...
 

My 12 yo is really disappointed. In the past no one has cared. However sometimes I make her come to our activities instead of being with her friends and she says she's so glad because she enjoyed our thing better. I am hoping for that again. We have friends to go swimming with (who have some girls her age) so that should help.

Re: Halloween...
 

Yes. I either just arrange something good to deliberately clash, or just explain and teach why it isn't ok for us. Also, acknowledging the children's emotions and sharing their sadness at the situation. This is a situation that is going to come up time and time again with all sorts of things so practice it as a teachable moment.


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Re: Halloween...
 

Asked gently, if it is about having fun with school friends and you don't plan things for them outside of school do they get to do things with friends very often?

Re: Halloween...
 

Who was that asked to, was it me? Sorry not clear.

We regularly choose not to do community events here at sem on campus. Sometimes the kids feel like they are missing out, most of the time they don't. We base it on our family's need. Actually we do a lot with other people and occasionally need to rediscover our family introvert together, :)



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---------- Post added at 09:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:47 PM ----------



Ah ok I read the thread again and I see this was to the OP.

OP, perhaps this might not be about Halloween then, but more about their need or want to do things with friends? What are you working with, are there some issues making that hard?

Perhaps Halloween could be the catalyst for a gentle family chat about social activities, what they would like to do, what issues the family needs to take into account, and brainstorm together. Maybe that could be your Halloween alternative. Think of a cool way to make plans together.




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Re: Halloween...
 

So if you're planning on chipolte for dinner, be aware that they are doing $3 burritos/bowls/tacos on Halloween for anyone in costume 3 pm to closing. So i anticipate they will have a lot of adults in costume there, and as a rule adult cuisines seem "scarier."