observation re: sleep from my reunion
 

We had a reunion for our Theatre Dept at college this last weekend and one of the things that those of us who are parents talked about was how the reality of our lives at that time prepared us for never sleeping - and how that impacted our parenting differently from those around us.

We noted that some students opted out of the more social aspect of theatre to focus on studies, and some ignored studies to participate in social aspects, but many of us just didn't sleep or eat in order to focus on both. The other parents I talked about this with all agreed that their times with infants who wouldn't sleep weren't even a big deal to them - they had no expectation of sleep.

I found this very interesting and it was a connection I hadn't really made before - but it is sometimes hard for me to really empathize with loss of sleep in parenthood. I completely relate to the frustration of having a child who sleeps poorly; I completely relate to the concerns for the sake of a child who doesn't sleep well; and I completely relate to the real challenges from sheer exhaustion and loss of sleep :yes But I just didn't see sleep as a right and I really do think that going through what I did is why.

So I do want to say I'm sorry if I have sounded unsympathetic in anyone's threads on this issue :heart But I also want to encourage that this is why I really believe it's about our perspective and the best way to approach the bigger issue is to work on our expectations :heart Just like college, there is a season and then it is over. But the lessons you learn in any season can benefit you in ways you might never understand or put together. It's okay to embrace the reality of the situation you are in and get all you can out of it :heart

Re: observation re: sleep from my reunion
 

i was actually thinking about this the other day now that we have a newborn in the house again. i can count on one hand the number of times 3.5yo DS has slept through the night and only night-weaned last fall. because of this, my expectations this time around are very different than they were the first time and having to wake up multiple times during the night to nurse/re-settle is par for the course at this point. having that different view and not being so frustrated about being woken up multiple times has definitely made things a lot easier!

Re: observation re: sleep from my reunion
 

:heart Perspective is everything, that's for sure.

I think personality and sleep needs play into it too. I tend to be a fairly low energy person anyway, so sleep deprivation of any kind is especially rough on me. I can see how it might be different for different people as well. :think

(Although after having a baby who woke up every 20 minutes for over 2 years, I have a hard time sympathizing with people who are tired because their baby nursed twice in the night. :bag :duck)

Re: observation re: sleep from my reunion
 

Thanks for sharing that. People were always amazed at the fact that I was okay with children who did not sleep very well....at least according to their standards. To me, it was just a part of the season of having a newborn. A season that seems like it will never end when you are in the middle if it. JJ did not sleep through the night sort of consistently until he was five. He was also a VERY early riser......like up before six am.

Yes, I was tired. Yes, I was a zombie half the time. But, I recognized it as a part of the journey. That made me less resentful.