Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

And I don't want to feel this way so I'm looking for some practical solutions or suggestions.

DD (11 months) has been a wonderful sleeper for a long time. Putting her down for a nap or at night has always been as simple as wrapping her the right way, giving her a pacifier, putting her in her cot and walking away. She quickly and happily went to sleep alone. She won't nurse to sleep, never has, and she has never wanted company in the room, it keeps her awake. In the past couple of weeks all that has been turned on its head. Getting her down at night isn't too bad - DH has it down to an art, all he does is stays in the room in the dark and she's asleep within minutes. And when she wakes during the night it's USUALLY pretty easy too - she doesn't even wake fully, and I just nurse her in her half asleep state and then pop her back in the cot and she goes straight back to sleep. Sometimes she has long wakeful periods at night which are very frustrating and none of the multitude of things I've tried (feeding to sleep, sitting by her cot patting her, rocking her in my arms, lying in the spare bed in her room with her, taking her in mine and DH's bed) reliably work, she just stays awake until she's ready to go back to sleep.

But the major issue is daytime naps. I need to find a way to help her go to sleep. At the moment, if I try the usual (wrap, dummy, into the cot, walk away) she starts to scream before I even get out the door. I've left her to scream for a minute or two to see if she'll calm down and she doesn't! I've tried going back over and over every couple of minutes to give her dummy back and calm her down, when she starts to doze off I walk away - she screams again. It's distressing to her, me and 4 year old DD too! I've tried staying in the room (usually sitting on the spare bed and not looking at her) - she'll lie quietly for a few minutes then spit her dummy out and start talking to me. I've tried cradling her to sleep in my arms and that has worked, but I can't do that all the time, it kills my back. I've tried lying on the bed with her instead of putting her in the cot but she just thinks its a game. She's recently self-weaned (I still breastfeed her at night but she won't persevere long enough to get milk if I offer during the day) so even if I thought it would work I can't nurse her to sleep.

She has a very rough routine of going to bed around 7:30 - 8pm at night, waking for 1 or 2 feeds during the night, waking for the day between 5:30 and 7:30am (which is a whole 'nother issue! I can't handle the 5:30 mornings!), and having two one hour daytime naps around 9:30am and 2pm. Roughly.

Can anyone offer any solutions? I'm getting really frustrated and resentful of my beautiful girl. I spent a year of my older daughters life around the same age having sleep battles and I don't want to think that this is the beginning of a similar year. :cry

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

Does she watch t.v.? :think You could try cuddling on the couch together and seeing if she'll fall asleep.

I've never had one wean quite that early without using CIO, so I'm not sure. :/

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

You mean for daytime naps? I can't see that working...too much going on around her!

I'm a bit confused by this comment...the weaning isn't relevant to the sleeping issues as she won't nurse to sleep anyway, never has. And I do still breastfeed her during the night. (So not fully weaned yet...weanING would have been the better term to use I guess)

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

It sounds like her psychological and physical needs are shifting, which is developmentally appropriate around the first birthday. It's not uncommon at all to have a baby's need for sleep/naps decrease for a period of time as all those neurons are firing away excitedly in the brain. She's on the verge of many major milestones! Someone here once described it as the same way we feel when we are falling in love - too much excitment to sleep! The fact that she is not crying or fussing and just wants to be up and interacting is a blessing. Try to remember that this is just a phase and won't last forever, enjoy your little one and stay positive for her during her changing needs. :hug2 :heart

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

The only baby I've had that didn't nurse to sleep was the one I left to CIO. My other 4 all nap at the boob. ;)

It was a statement about my lack of ideas, not anything about you. :)

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

I would try combining her two naps into one early afternoon nap for a week or so and see if that helps get her to bed more easily. It may take more than a couple nights to see if this is working. :hugheart

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

I don't think I can have expressed myself very clearly.

The main issue is the difficulty in getting her settled for daytime naps. That's really the area where I'm hoping for suggestions. The wakeful periods at night are occasional and annoying but manageable. My main worry with those, rather than my own sleep being reduced, is that she'll wake 4 yr old DD as well!

PurpleButterfly, I'm sure you're spot on that it's developmentally appropriate behaviour. I think she's just much more aware and social and doesn't want to be left alone to go to sleep, but can't shut down and relax if someone is in the room. So how do I deal with that? Valentine, the idea of combining naps is appealing as that would mean less of the time spent battling to get her down for a nap, BUT I'm sure she needs those 2 sleeps. She's only just reduced from 3 to 2 and she gives clear tired signs - really grumpy and unhappy, eye rubbing, yawning. I'm sure we wouldn't manage to get through the day with only 1 sleep.

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

Will she fall asleep in the carseat? DS went through a period around his 1st birthday when he'd only fall asleep if we went for a drive. Once he was totally limp he'd stay asleep and let me bring him inside. If she does you could time a daily errand/playground visit so the return drive coincides with one of her naps.

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

She will fall asleep in the carseat but only if DD2 isn't also in the car, and she won't transfer to the cot.

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

What about in the stroller on a walk?

Re: Finding my baby hard to love due to sleep battles.
 

Nope, won't sleep in the stroller either! (unless she's completely desperate) When we travelled recently she slept in the ring sling but I had to stay standing with her in the sling for the whole time she was sleeping, she wouldn't be transferred to a bed and only slept for about 40 minutes maximum being worn. She sleeps much better and longer in her cot on her own!

This thread has been really helpful to me. Last night she woke at 4:30am and didn't easily resettle. Instead of being anxious about it, I was thankful that she wasn't unhappy, and I snuggled into the spare bed in her room with her and relaxed while she played around. After an hour she got tried so I cradled her in my arm and she went straight to sleep, and I was then able to put her back in her cot and go back to bed (at 5:50am - hardly worth it!! :lol) But it was PurpleButterfly's comments that I kept in my head throughout, so it was a calm, relaxed, even pleasant experience instead of a stressed one!

I have just succeeded in putting her down for a daytime nap without a single tear. All I did, apart from the usual, was stay in the room for a minute picking up toys and clothes off the floor before I quietly left. I also waited longer before I tried, to be sure she was really tired. A success!!! :clap Hope we can repeat both that, and last night (if she has a long wakeful period again).

Thank you for your thoughts, ladies. :hug2