James Dobson quote
 

Someone I like and respect, with four grown children, posted a James Dobson quote on facebook:

"A child who assaults the loving authority of his parents is greatly assured when their leadership holds firm and confident. He finds his highest security in a structured environment where the rights of other people (and his own) are protected by definite boundaries." --Dr. James Dobson

This just sits so wrong with me for some reason (besides the fact it is James Dobson). I believe in loving authority and structure and boundaries. Very much so. But highest security? I would think a child finds his highest security in the unconditional love of God and his parents. And "assault" is such a combative, adversarial term.

And I feel like I can't say anything because I'm just a young mom with a 3 and 1 year old.

Re: James Dobson quote
 

:hug
I agree with him on one principle; kids need firm boundaries.
But like you said-it's adversarial and it's Dobson. :shifty


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Re: James Dobson quote
 

I don't like it because its Dobson and I know what he's not saying. Let me flip back to quote so I can come up with my retort.

---------- Post added at 01:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:24 PM ----------

I'd probably then talk about how the choice of words creates an "us vs them" regime that is not healthy. I'd talk about getting to the heart issues of why older children disobey and the developmental issues why toddlers have a tough go at it. A child who doesn't even mastered logic can't willingly manipulate his parents.

Re: James Dobson quote
 

Deconstructing this stuff is really helpful.

Re: James Dobson quote
 

Its getting easier for me take anything to twist the words for the good. I mean if Ezzo can scripture twist to prove his ever so wrong point - so can I twist the quotes of punitive "gurus".

Re: James Dobson quote
 

I would change "assaults" to "challenges".

Re: James Dobson quote
 

Dobson knows the power of word choice. "Assault" is a military/war term which implies strategy, planning, and the desire to conquer. I find it difficult to really understand my children, who are doing the best they can given their lack of maturity in many areas, in that framework. They are not trying to conquer me. I do not need to be defensive OR create an offensive strategy in order to squelch the imminent coup.

Re: James Dobson quote
 

If this was an isolated quote I might be inclined to think it was a poor word choice. Children do find security in their parents being in control, being consistent, etc. But Dobson repeatedly refers to parents needing to win against their children.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

Re: James Dobson quote
 

My parents as new Christians read a lot of Dobson. And I was ALWAYS accused of battling my mom. A difference in opinion (no, I'd like to wear the pink dress, not the yellow or I want braids not pig tails) was will full disobedience and I was battling her.

She knows how bad the regime was, but you know.... I still can't trust my own opinion. Especially when it comes to her. And its sad because they really didn't know better and my dad especially did a way better job at the should-have-been-removed-from-parents-custody of abuse.

All that to agree that the quote in itself isn't horrible, its knowing Dobson's heart behind it.

Re: James Dobson quote
 

I don't like assault, either. My three year old cannot decide which stuffed animal she wants to take to bed with her, I doubt she is planning a coup to take over the house. Ivy's security does come in part from knowing that her parents are in control of themselves and are not going to beat the fool out her when she steps out of line. She is not afraid of telling us when she has done something wrong and is quick to look for a way to fix it. Something that I do not see in kids that are punished.

Re: James Dobson quote
 

This.