Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I mentioned having this thread on another thread.
If you are a "messie"; Sidetracked Home Executive, whatever title you like, please check in here. Let's support each other.
I don't want to exclude anyone, but my intention is for this to be for moms that really struggle with this area, not just for those that have been a little busy and are falling behind, or need a little decluttering or whatever.
We all want to do a better job keeping our house clean and inviting and everyone has messy days (don't they?? :shifty ) That doesn't make you a "Messie" persay. So keep that in mind, especially if you are a "cleanie" what you read or see might shock you!






Things were OK in a couple rooms of the house a couple days ago, my counters were clear, sink empty at night maybe 2 nights in a row even, but now it looks like a bomb went off in every room of my house.
When things get like this, I get very overwhelmed and sort of shut down. But I have been on Flylady's list and read enough books on homekeeping to know that this will get me nowhere.
It is a dreary, wet, gray day outside and we don't have to go anywhere, so I am going to go get washed and dressed, then put some music on (probably classical or 80's) and the children and I are going to tackle 10 minutes in each room of the house.
We have: Entryway
Dining Room
Kitchen
Living Room
Spare room/computer room/toy room/office
DD's bedroom
Master Bedroom
DS's bedroom
Master Bath
Kid's Bathroom
Laundry Room

That is 110 minutes of work. We will take several breaks.
It will be fun!!!!
Maybe I will even take before/after shots so I can see just what 10-15 minutes can really do.

How is your day going so far?

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Count me in!! Things are usually clean, like floors etc but we have so much clutter that it's crazy

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

LOL i have found that if i don't practice GOYB cleaning my house gets that way reallllly quickly. and i only have 1. i shudder to think how messy things could get with 2 kids! or more! one thing i've found that helps me is as i'm walking through a room if i see something i can easily pick up i do. and then for stuff that is not so easy (i.e. DD likes to pull ALL her bibs out of the kitchen drawer and deposit them in the den). in my example i go sit down in my chair and tell DD to go put them in the drawer lol. sometimes it takes 10 minutes to get her to do it, but... hey... lol.

whew but yeh i can definitely get there.... and don't even get me started about the mess on top of my entertainment unit... or the spare bedroom :shifty

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I am messy by nature but I enjoy a clean house. My biggest issue is just not putting stuff away and waiting until I have to have a BIG cleaning day. I would rather do a little each day. My new method is to work 5 minutes at a time. It doesn't seem like much but I get so much done this way.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I'm here! I also love things clean and orderly, but things can very quickly get out of control when I am having an off day. Those off days are pretty much weekly occurances. I work so hard to get them clean and then a couple bad days and it is all going South and then I am overwhelmed again. Bad cycle. I am currently on the downward sloap, but could get things completely turned around with babout an hour of work and laundry.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I definitely qualify. :blush THere will be times I get the house looking really good and think, "Okay, now all I have to do is maintain." But then I'll get off track one day, and it's in a shambles until something happens (usually company) to get me really motivated again. In any case, messiness is definitely the norm around here, a tidy house is for company. I'd really like to change that, but I've tried Motivated Moms, Flylady, and a combination of both and nothing seems to do it for me.

So today? Megan is very sick and just wants me to sit on the couch and hold her. I'm still in my pajamas at 1:00 (she's finally napping now). I was supposed to work my transcription hours from 5-8 a.m. I got up, clocked in, and went back to bed, and clocked out at 8. That's not as dishonest as it sounds -- the requirement is 100 lines per hour, so I will give them 300 lines today -- it just means I"m behind now and have to catch up. I hate doing that during the day with the kids home, but tonight I have to go in and do my other job so I can have a decent weekend for once. And here I am on at GCM while Megan naps instead of using the time to do my 300 lines. :O So by the time I get that done, Zach will be home and Megan will be up. Hopefully I'll get dressed sometime before dh gets home and maybe while I cook dinner I'll get the dishes done and the kitchen table cleared off. I have a basket of laundry I would really like to get folded, too, because it's sitting there collecting wrinkles.

It's not usually *quite* as bad as this -- certainly having a sick child and getting behind in my work have contributed. But it's still not good.

Going to go do my 300 lines now. :(

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

ITU that! that's the way i am - slip one day and then it's chaos! i usually start by picking up stuff in my den and carpet sweeping it. if my den is clean (the room i hang out most in) then i feel happier and more energized to wash dishes, and what not. oh that was another thing. using a carpet sweeper instead of a vacuum cleaner has done wonders for keeping my floor clean. it's so much easier to pull out the carpet cleaner than it is the vacuum. i hate the IDEA of pulling out the vacuum so half the time i don't vacuum. but the carpet sweeper is a snap. it might take a little bit longer to DO the work due to it not being electrical, but at least i actually get started instead of procrastinating!

my order of priorities for cleaning:

pick up stuff in the living room, carpet sweep it.
pick up stuff off the floor of the kitchen. fill up a sink of hot, soapy water and put up the dishes while that is filling up.
let the dishes soak while i take a break! :D
wash the dishes, wipe the counter and the table down.

there the two big rooms of my house are done :D

low items on my priority list - mopping the floor and doing the laundry. i'll wash and dry the laundry but i'm horrible about bringing it in to fold it up. i've been trying to do it while DD naps lately - it only takes like 5-10 minutes but it takes a lot longer when she's awake cuz she tries to "help" and ends up causing me more frustration and work than its worth.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I am such a "messy"!! Ask anyone in my family. My dad even called me deciduous (yeah, like a tree...). What really hasn't helped is moving, getting our household goods and giving birth to a baby all in the space of a few months.

I feel like I'll never get "caught up". :(

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I'm definitly a "messie". I do pretty good for a couple of days and then I just get sick of cleaning.. I've actually just left the house so I wouldn't have to clean it. LOL.. Bad, I know.. and right now, I sit here doing dumb surveys on myspace to avoid cleaning.... ugh.. But then I'll complain later that it's a mess..

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

With a nice support thread like this, no one will think "That is bad!" we will think BTDT!

So far, we have done nothing I said we would! I think part of my problem is that there are always other things that get in the way. I need to cut down on my activities until I get things managable but I can't!
I am an introvert yet somehow I seem to be in charge of a couple small groups that require my facilitating and lots of phone calls and email and such and that sucks all my energy and I have none left over for cleaning my house. I thought everything for tonight was all decided and suddenly I am having to email people and then I worry about what I wrote, etc. Someone as disorganized as I am should not be the one to plan stuff and make sure it all happens, KWIM? I stress over it way, way too much, trying to make sure everyone is contacted, feels included, etc.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

ITU about internet and emails sucking away your energies. one thing i have found is that once i get on my computer i don't want to get off. so if i'm going to start cleaning it needs to happen BEFORE i get on the computer. so i try and pick one task i don't MIND doing so much... (for me it happens to be picking up the den and carpet sweeping it). once that's clean, i have the drive and energy to clean up the other problem spots, but i totally put off "big chores" and do only one big thing at a time - usually one every couple of weeks. Gonna tackle the spare bedroom soon.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Yeah, unfortunately, this is kind of pressing since we were supposed to be leaving for this event in like 4 hours!
So I have been on the phone and doing email (and waiting for responses) instead of cleaning up.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

:lol well sounds like housecleaning can wait then :giggle

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I totally qualify!!! I know it's gotten bad when DH starts asking me if I'm going to clean anytime soon. :blush It too me 6 hours JUST to clean the living room, kitchen and half bathroom yesterday. I was SOOOO unbelievably sore when I woke up this morning. I HAVE to do laundry (yet, it's 2:45 and I still haven't done a single load) as DH has no more underwear or undershirts left and quite frankly, I have no more underwear either.....the only problem is I haven't the faintest idea what clothes are clean and which are dirty b/c they're all on the floor.
I have so many schedules and routines that I've come up with to try and keep the house clean and they just. haven't. worked. I hate living like this. It stresses me out and is extremely embarassing to have company unexpectedly drop by. This stinkin' computer is the bane of my existence. :giggle But I am the first to admit I couldn't function without it. :blush

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I am on my way to being a reformed Messy, and I posted on the other thread, but can I offer advice here? Since I have BTDT, and I grew up in a disaster of a messy home? I've really seen it all ladies. My childhood home reeked of animal feces because no one cleaned the cat box and my mom had 2 snakes and bred feeder mice in addition to the cats all of which poop and pee. I can tell you stories of moldy refrigerators and hairballs the size of golf balls littered in the shower. Moldy half-filled cups of coffee. And then there's the paper. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks of papers, bills, envelopes, memos, lists, coupons...
---------------------------------------------------------------

My first bit of advice would be to set your kitchen microwave timer to 15 minutes. And ONLY do 15 minutes of housecleaning. If you've done that, then give yourself a pat on the back for job well done.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Eeeew! I am so sorry! Even I am not that bad! (I do have lots of paper, though!)
Advice is good!

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I'm a messy. I even have a yahoogroup. PM me if you'd like to join!

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

:hissyfit
Sounds like my parents house.. I think they only clean when I'm there.. It's not really my mom though b/c she works 2 jobs and is rarely home and when she is home, she's sleeping. I've gone over there w/dishes that have been soaking in water for 4+ days. :sick2 The bathtub looked like it hadn't been cleaned since the last time I was there 2 months before. Coffee cups had been there for at least 3 days.. I'm tempted to hire them a housekeeper to come in every 2 weeks. My mom said she finally talked to my dad about it and he is supposed to be getting better about cleaning it. He's self-employed and is sometimes home for hours doing nothing, or just messing around in the yard..

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Well I think in my heart I am an organized clean person, but being raised with no housekeeping skills whatsoever took its toll on me. So it has been a struggle. But really, it feels so good to live in a clean kept-up home. I promised my dh that I would do it for him.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

same here, I knew nothing about keeping house when I married. I get so frustrated when i look around and see clutter but sometimes it is overwhelming and i don't even know where to start

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Zach's best friend's house is like that. They're really nice people, and both people work outside the home so there's just not much time for housekeeping, and they seem to keep *everything*. I keep a lot, but I don't have nearly the amount of stuff they do (of course, they're older and have had more time to collect it). I do feel a little bit better about my own house -- like at least it's not as bad as it *could* be. :shifty

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Oh, count me in! I need all the help I can get.... reading through this thread I've been nodding my head about most everything that you all have posted. I find housekeeping just so overwhelming and BORING. I hate that feeling of never being done. There's always 10 gazillion other things I'd rather be doing. I actually grew up with a very clean and tidy mom.... who always did all the cleaning AFTER I was in bed.... so I grew up thinking that things just magically cleaned themselves! :giggle I really need to find something that will make it semi-enjoyable.... because most of the time I feel like a hopeless, unmotivated, lazy slob :(

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Oh, I am so glad for this thread. I am such a mess - in many ways. :O I feel like "everyone" else is so neat and orderly and clean and then there's me. I will read more later but I just wanted to chime in and say thank you for this thread!!

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Count me in

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I also wanted to add a problem I have not yet seen on this thread (now that I have read all the posts) - I suffer from clutter-blindness, and I really struggle with this. I mean I can't see clutter. I get used to it and it no longer registers. This was brought home to me when the head secretary at work said the front desk was getting so cluttered she could not stand it and she cleaned and organized it. It had looked fine to me. :blush I mean, if stuff is stacked and I know what each pile is for and about, I am fine with it. Now, when someone points it out and cleans and shows me, then I am like, ah, that's so much better. Why didn't I think of that??? :hissyfit It is really hard living this way. It is such an effort for me to keep things clean and organized. I like it clean and orderly, but I can't see the forest for the trees.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Leah, you sound a lot like me.

I am slowly trying to get rid of stuff. The one thing a day is helping a lot.
This week, I am going to try to focus on my kitchen- running the dishwasher nightly, putting dishes away in the AM, and keeping the floor swept up. I am also going to attack my kitchen clutter. I have these two baskets of *stuff* and I already went through one and managed to do away with one whole basket by taking a basket full of stuff upstairs (not put away, but it does not belong in the kitchen ) so now I just have one basket of stuff in there.
I also want to clear my refrigerator front so I can post schedules/routines on it.

I figure this is small enough I can hopefully make some progress.

I really need to do something about the kid's outgrown clothes but that just seems all too overwhelming.

How are y'all doing this week?

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Yes, the outgrown clothes are in a massive huge stack on top of ds's bureau - but don't let that make you think ds has an actual bedroom. No, he still sleeps in a side-carred crib and his bedroom, which my now-xh was going to do for us after ds was born, never happened. So it's kind of a catch-all, store-all room and there's no room for his first bed even.

It's so hard being single because I don't have the "here, watch ds for the morning (or for a couple of hours)," option. Xh comes to see ds twice a week for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, and it's the hour before dinner so that's all I do during that time, make dinner. THis is getting OT, but I just wanted to kind of vent my frustrations over my cruddy housekeeping.

And my laundry is totally festering downstairs while I am on GCM. :blush I have laundry in the washer that I have to keep putting through the rinse cycle, because the dryer is full of clothes and the clean clothes basket is also full of clothes because I NEVER HAVE TIME TO PUT THEM AWAY!!!! :hissyfit :hissyfit :banghead :banghead

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I can totally relate to what has been said here. I was raised in a very messy/dirty house (once I nearly died of embarrassment when my friend said to me at school, you sometimes smell like your house - I knew exactly what she meant!). I suffer from clutter blindness sometimes, and other times just feel completely overwhelmed by the clutter, and just have no idea where to start :( I discovered something about myself once, that when I clean the bathroom handbasin, so it's really nice, I notice it and keep it that way. Once someone has come in and really dirtied it up, I kind of accept it as normal and let it stay that way. Seems I notice cleanness and not dirtiness.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

:hugheart
We don't put clothes away here either most of the time.
Do you have anywhere to hang laundry as it comes out of the dryer? We have some wire shelves over the washer/dryer. I hang up stuff that can be hung on hangers on the shelf, and then the rest of the clothes go in a basket. Every so often, I go through and sort the clean clothes by owner (DD does this with me) and put them in that owner's basket. I am not allowed to put DH's clothes away, but I bring the basket of his clothes to our bedroom and he does it. But the kids and I just take them from basket to body to hamper.
One day I hope to be able to get it all put away, but right now, there isn't anywhere to put the clothes, since the dressers and closets are full of outgrown stuff (mine too!)

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Well, I got all mad and put the clothes away just now. :giggle I had to do it in the dark b/c ds is sleeping in the main bedroom, but I could turn on the light in his "bedroom." Now the festering clothes are washing again, I took the clean clothes out of the dryer and the basket will accomodate the clothes currently washing as well as the ones I just put in there. All that to say, if I had just done it instead of fretting over it I would have saved myself a lot of grief.

And we are going on vacation this weekend, for a week, and I am totally not above taking dirty laundry with me and doing it at the beachouse if I have to. :shifty

Thanks for understanding. :hug

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

That is a great thing to remember. Sometimes if I am feeling overwhelmed by tasks I just say to myself "This is simple." "This is so easy." Because sometimes we can make the task so big in our minds that it paralyzes us from doing anything. If we change our thinking, "This is simple" then we can at least get started.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

It is also a truism that clean clothes that don't get put away right away WON'T get put away. That is sort of one of those disciplines you just have to follow through and do.

It feels like the laundry is done once the clothes have been put into the dryer. But that last step of folding and putting away is a big one.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I'm not really a "messy" (in fact I *waste* way too much time cleaning, just for it to look the same as it did in just an hour or two again).

But one place I'm kind of lazy about is the carpet. DD's juice cups sprinkle more than I ever have time to clean up and it looks just awful! :eek

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

me too :) my upbringing had the effect on my love for cleaning that public school had on my love for learning. we had chores, which was fine, but instead of my parents helping out, they used us as free labor and they'd go do their leisure and make us do all the work so i grew up hating work. i've just re-developed an interest in it (nostolgic for a house like my grandma's) and now i'm having to learn how to "manage" a household rather than do some random chores. it's a lot of stuff to think about - a lot more than i think we get credit for!

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I'm in! I think my issue is I was never really taught good housekeeping skills. Growing up our house was always clean but I never saw how it got that way :D I am a perfectionist so I get frustrated frequently when I can't seem to keep my house looking the way it does in my head! :scratch

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

well, my 3 oldest dc started school today and I just have my 2 yo home with me. I have gotten so much done today. She loves to follow me around all day and do whatever I'm doing, so I am able to get more done and still spend time with her. This is :blush but I had about 8 loads of clean laundry in the laundry room just piled up in the corner :rolleyes I got cheap laundry baskets, one for each of the kids, brought all of it into the living room and tossed the clothes into who's basket it belonged to. Took it up to the rooms and piled it on their dresser to fold later. Now the floor is clear (of clothes at least :giggle )
I really need to get my kids doing more stuff. But I need to make sure I am being a good example because I can't expect them to keep up after themselves if I am not keeping stuff clean. Well I'm off to clean some more. My 2 yo is napping so I should mop while I have the chance

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

I spent 6 hours cleaning my first floor last Thursday....then on Saturday DH watched DD and let her TRASH the living room. He told me he'd clean it up, but still hasn't. Last night the cats got into mischief and trashed my kitchen (got into the cabinets, pulled out food, scratched open bags of tortellini and batted it all over the floor and cabinets, pulled the covers off the range hood, knocked a glass off the counter and broke it. :hissyfit I JUST CAN'T EVER GET AHEAD!!!!!

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Yikes, I am sorry!
How many cats do you have?
We used to have 2 and would joke about them having cat parties. That is a cat party if I ever have heard of one!
That has got to be super frustrating!!!

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

We have two males. I was mean and put them on the third floor with their litter boxes and water for a few hours then shut the door while I cleaned up their mess. I just couldn't handle them at the time.

Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread
 

Ok about the cats. I seriously hate my cats ever since dd was born! They used to be my "babies", but now that I have a real baby, they quickly got demoted to "just cats" status and they totally bug the --it out of me! :giggle Man I would be so upset if they trashed my kitchen!

I'm totally with Katirana on this one. It really is about so much more than just cleaning. Because anybody can clean something once. It is about managing a home. Everyday. It is a learned skill! And to think I ever devalued housework and homemaking as something only "lazy" people did who couldn't get a real job. :duck That was my thinking as an ignorant teenager. Then I lived on my own and then got married and then had my daughter and it's like "Aaaaah!" Keeping it all together takes planning and work. Instead of GOYB parenting, I guess it's GOYB homekeeping. Darnit if I don't have to do it everyday, often throughout the day.