Gentle Christian Mothers Community - Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Would you momma's please help me? Could you read this and tell me if I should send this? Suggestions? Critiques? Addition? Subtractions? Do you mind?

Quote:

I just read the story of the little boy that died at the hands of his adoptive mother. And I felt the need to write to you and tell you a just a bit of my story. See, that could have been me.

My heart breaks for that family. And my heart breaks for the mother, who was just trying to “do right” by her children. The mother who thought she was doing what God has commanded all parents. Again, that could have been me. You see, when a person starts seeking help, they open themselves up to much advice, both sound and unsound. Being in such a state of helplessness, we don’t always have the capacity to be able to judge which is which. Obviously, this mother was having some problems with which she did not know how to deal. Just like me. And she turned to a man who calls himself Christian, and who claims to know God’s word and His heart. And she believed. Just like I did. This man claims that the Word of God commands parents to whip their children and to make them obey. And I believed. . .again, just like this mother. What is there not to believe? This man is gracious and courteous and charismatic. He claims to know the Word of God. He is eminently believable, with his promises of a peaceful home and happy, obedient children. In short, he has all the trappings of a cult leader.

Fortunately, I was able to break free from this cult-like thinking. Without going into an indepth exegesis of the Bible, let me just say that upon further study of the Scripture, I also found that nowhere are parents commanded to hit their children. In fact, we are exhorted to do otherwise. . .to love for, care for, consider as blessings, protect, and disciple our children.

Setting religion aside for a moment, though, I sincerely hope that this news article has finally captured enough people’s attention to warrant a thorough investigation into and to inform the public about the danger of this cult’s activities and distribution of information and advice. I fear there are many, many more cases like this, and I fear that there are many more families at risk in believing the lies and advice that this cult spreads. I do believe that, finally, this needs to come to light. Like the activities of David Karesh, I believe that this must be brought to light now. . .before more tragedy occurs.

And, of course, I'll sign it. :grin

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Thanks !!! I just sent this to everyone I know who ever read their stuff.

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Your letter sounds fine.

Everyone who decides to write to Mandy...please do not copy another letter posted. Make your letter personal, add new insights about GDB, give just a little bit more info than the other person or another aspect of GBD that hasn't been touched yet. Maybe if we all post our letters, that way we can see what the others have written so we don't repeat or that we can say something similar but use different wordings, etc.

You all encourage me with your letters to Mandy. Let's keep writing. :type

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Chris, I think it is really good. I think that particular reporter has been placed in the situation by God Himself---someone on MDC was interviewed by her for the story and said she really cared and was careful to get things straight. (I think the reporter found the MDC mama thru stoptherod.net)

Anyway your perspective is so important and relavent.

Isn't it Koresh, not Karesh?

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Well done, Chris. Palil, that's a great idea!

Tulipgirl,I have been thinking about that "Avoiding Millstones" article all afternoon since reading this. Those of you who are putting the link to that article up on websites might want to pair it with a link to that article.

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Pearls' website appears to be down.

nope, must have just been heavy traffic.

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

It's still down for me. :shrug

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

the site is up now (1205 am EST)

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

I can still load it :shrug

Do we have any other ideas beyond contacting the reporter? Would John Stossel be interested?

I was thinking that it may be time for those of us who are really quiet about GBD to come out of the woodshed (so to speak). Get ready for the backlash from family, friends, and churches, and speak out against religious violence toward children.

Advocacy wear for our dc, speaking up in churches, calling pastors on crass joking about it, learning to bring it up in conversations.

Thoughts?

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

ahhh, had .com instead of .org. :doh

I don't live in an area where I know anyone who parents like this, but I would support mama's speaking up more, and would speak up if I had the chance!!!

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

I know it's around here - but I avoid "those" people like the plague. I find them to be quite overwhelming and with abuse in my past, it hurts my heart more than I can bare. I wish there was a way to be more of an advocate against religous violence in a positive way -

I would dress my child in positive advocacy wear and would appreciate ways to address issues in a positive manner.

I like the bumper sticker that says "People are not for hitting and Children are People"
I would purchase a similar bumper sticker that had a Christian Message in it.

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Not certain about contacting John Stossel, though he might be okay. I know DH and I both watch "MNSBC Investigates" whenever we can. It comes on MNSBC on cable on Friday nights. But, "20/20" comes on regular channels on Fridays and "60 Minutes" (does it come on anymore?). Or we could get in touch with "Montel Williams" (he better than some of the other daytime talk shows, besides he's a retired Marine). :shifty

If we could just get one of the major networks to do an investigative report on this........... :think

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

:bheart :cry :banghead :mad :td :candle :pray

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

In the interest of fairness, I will point out that this child did not die from being whipped, he died from being rolled tightly in a blanket. I assume he suffocated. The Pearls don't advocate this anywhere that I've ever read.

Now I do think their teaching creates an adversarial environment where this kind of thing is more likely to happen than in an environment where positive discipline is encouraged...

As for parents being "queasy" about hitting their kids...that certainly doesn't apply to me! There are times when it takes every ounce of self control that I have NOT to hit my kids. On the few occassions that I have hit them, I have been struck with instant remorse and guilt--not "queasiness."

Jenn

Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

Quote:

Originally Posted by katiekind

You know, what I would want to point out to someone who finds it convincing that Michael Pearl always whacked himself before using the switch on a child (as described in the last paragraph of the article) is that it's NOT the individual whacks that are so dangerous to parents and children. It's the teaching that parents continue to switch and repeatedly switch until they achieve complete rulership over the child. It's the anger that rises up in parents as they start to feel that their child is bucking the regime, and the tool they have is to spank the child into submission.

Yeah...anyone here familiar with "chicken scratches?" They were popular when I was in elementary school.

Basically what it was was scratching yourself until you had an open wound on the back of your hand. You were supposed to scratch across your hand 100 or 200 times--I forget (I never did it, but a friend of mine did) to prove that you weren't a "chicken." You didn't scratch very hard--just hard enough that it would leave a quick blanching of the skin as you went across once. But after you've done it repeatedly, the skin tears under the repeated assault.

Spanking is the same way. One swat may not be "that bad," but when you pile them up, one after another, bruising and serious injury occurrs. One mom I know regularly spanked her kids until they were bruised until one day when she fell down her stairs and ended up with a bruised behind herself. Her parents had never spanked her to bruising, and she just hadn't realized how much it HURT to have a bruised behind. She was spanking that hard because it was what she learned in church.

Jenn

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