Punitiveness and the Strong Willed Child
 

How do you hold yourself back from saying something when you know that a mamma is using punitive discipline and yet their child's behavior is getting worse and worse? :cry I so want to find a way to talk to this mom about GBD, but I'm the least likely candidate for that b/c I'm sure she'd see it as an attack on her parenting...and I have a tendency to say it like it is. :blush She has a strong-willed child. I have one of those too, but I think you can "manage" it better when they are wrapped in a big layer of AP and GBD. Being persistent, tenacious, etc. is one thing. But I see the DD being mean-spirited towards other children. I mean really nasty behavior and selfishness. She's 5yo and it seems like the girl is being "grounded" every week. Recently the parents grounded her for 2 weeks. Why is it so hard for us as parents to see that if something isn't working, we should try something else? The mom chaulks it up to the DD being a "strong-willed" child, but I think the parent's parenting/discipline style may be greatly contributing to the direction the girl is going. I'm afraid they may get some professional to medicate her. Sometimes we're all so afraid to judge or offend someone that no one will speak up. So we soothe each other and say, "it's not your fault." But sometimes it really is our fault. I know that oftentimes, when I step back from a situation, I can see that I may have contributed to my DD's "bad" behavior. Am I being too harsh and judgmental in my opinions? I know this is not my problem to fix. All I can really do is pray that the holy spirit will give the parents some tools to help their DD and that he will guard my mouth so I don't exasperate the mom. :(

Re: Punitiveness and the Strong Willed Child
 

I rarely come out and talk to people about GBD specificly, but I will relate my personal experience. So if we are sitting around talking at our playgroup about some problem then I will say what has been working for us. That way it doesn't come out as an attack on someone else's parenting, but rather just what we are doing in our family.

Re: Punitiveness and the Strong Willed Child
 

Well, if she sees the child as strong-willed, how about suggesting something like "Raising Your Spirited Child"? It's about strong-willed kids, and promotes a GBD view of life.

Re: Punitiveness and the Strong Willed Child
 

I have a strongwilled child, and I've been punitive in the past. Still working on GBD.

I think if someone had said something to me, or shown me a different way, I would have been grateful. I've been
so surrounded by Christian punitiveness, I didn't know you could be a Christian and **not** be punitive.

You know your relationship with this woman best, though.

I like the "spirited Child" book recommendation too.