Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I know that somewhere on here it has been discussed about the Above Rubies magazine and the missing children that were adopted from Liberia. Anyway, I decided to contact Nancy Campbell about it and let her know that it was affecting her credibility.

She asked me to call her and we ended up talking for about 1/2 hour. I have concerns with other things that Nancy teaches, but after talking to her, I don't think we have to worry to much about the "missing children." For the most part, in seems that the kids that are no longer in the home are not there because they didn't want to be, not because the family didn't want them. She realizes that they were very naive in their approach to adoption.

And she invites anyone with questions about it to call her.

Anyway, I thought some of you might like to know.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

What is this about? I occasionally receive the Above Rubies magazine, but I am clueless about the adoption thing. :scratch Is there a link or something?

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Interesting. So what happened to the children? Were they turned over to the state to be placed in new homes? Returned to Liberia?

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I am very curious about this because I normally love Nancy Campbell. Her Power Of Motherhood study was awesome for me.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Serene had adopted several children from Liberia. Now she only has 2. That's where the question came from.

Nancy said that the older kids where actually older than they thought and wanted to be independent. She said only one had to be "removed" from the home for safety issues.

And as to Nancy's adopted children. She says that she still has a good relationship with them.

It sounds like they were completely unprepared for the attachment issues they were going to be dealing with with children who had been abandoned and living in an institution.

She also realized that they had been misled as to the nature of the orphanage that they were working with.

So, they've learned a lot by what they've went through and though she still supports adoption, she realizes now the issues that can come up and even recommended reading to me if I ever want to adopt. :-)

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

So what reading did she recommend? Just curious, not trying to start anything. :)

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

The Primal Wound.

It really made me feel for her, because when I mentioned the whole attachment thing, she was like, "Oh you know about it." It's like they were clueless about attachment issues.

It sounded like they really, really tried to help the older ones that they had adopted but that they really saw adoption as simply a way to independence. She said that the older "teens" were actually older than they had thought and they were basically trying to parent adults.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Nancy Campbell is lying to you.

There will be an article printed in the NYT, I can't tell you when because it was supposed to be printed in January. What I can tell you is that someone tracked all of the missing children and interviewed them AND their families personally (those that have families now).

Nancy Campbell is lying.

She does NOT have good relationships with all of her adoptive children. The children did NOT all leave because they didn't want to be there. Both hers and Serena's children.

I'm under orders to not say more. The research HAS been done, and the story from the compound has been tracked all the way to Africa and across the US. The children have been contacted personally and gave interviews. Their families gave interviews. NONE of it matches what comes out of the Campbell compound as the "official" story.

Not really surprising. Dishonest spinning of any negative press is not new for Nancy Campbell.

What I am allowed to say that is that *most* of the missing children are okay.

As an adoptive mother, a peer support, an adoption advocate and a birthmother, I do NOT recommend you read the Primal Wound. Furthermore, I don't trust nor recommend ANYTHING that Nancy Campbell says about adoption nor her own children, whom she never cared enough about to call anything but her "adoptive children" even when they were in her home.

I don't have "adoptive" and real children. I simply have children. Nancy Campbell never had anything BUT adoptive and real children, and makes sure everyone knows the differences, especially those poor children.

---------- Post added at 07:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:35 PM ----------

Furthermore, what Nancy Campbell was UNPREPARED for was to PARENT children, honestly, unconditionally PARENT children. She shares FAR more culpability both in the treatment of her own children AND the fiasco that was the Liberian adoption nightmare. SHE led the charge for Fundies and Quiverful families to adopt from Liberia and Africa in general.

Because of her call to "rescue" the heathen children and "evangelize" them, families went to Liberia in DROVES. They ignored ethics. They ignored the LAW. They were grabbing and claiming these poor "orphanages" at a scary rate. Children were STOLEN from birthfamilies to satiate the appetite that Nancy Campbell ignited. The country was CLOSED because of the child trafficking, the money flying, the families demanding CHILDREN TO RESCUE at all costs.

Most, like Nancy Campbell, thought that once they rescued these poor heathens, they would be grateful.

Don't think she has culpability, then you need to google TWO NAMES. Lydia Schatz and Hanna Williams. Hanna was from Ethiopia, but was the SAME insatiable appetite to rescue the orphans, the same quiverful/Fundie families and the same mentalities that are threatening to close Ethiopia, the nation they turned their attention towards when Liberia was closed. Just like Michael Pearl holds culpability for those chidren's torture, so too does Nancy Campbell.

I don't let her off that easy.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

TestifytoLove, I'm glad you chimed in. I only know what she told me on the phone today. I did point out to her the problem of not treating her adopted children like her own and she said that it was a different situation than my family would be if I adopted because of her age when she adopted them. She's already a grandma. (I didn't think that made sense, but that's what she said.)

I tried to get her to take some responsibility for all the Liberian adoptions that happened because of her influence and she wouldn't really take any. She only "reported what she saw and families opened their hearts". I was trying to point out that if she encouraged adoption and then realized that it was tougher than she thought she should be open about it. But she didn't seem willing to print the problems that were coming out of their adoptions.

She did talk kind of icky about Serene's older daughters. She said that they wanted Serene out of the house so that they could have her husband to themselves. She was a bit descriptive about it. It was hard to reconcile the way she talked about them with the rest of the way she talked about how much love they had for them and all that.

I'm looking forward to reading the article in the NYT's. Will you let us know when it comes out?

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

My father is 62 years old. My oldest sister is 38. My youngest sister is 13. My oldest two children overlap the ages of my youngest two siblings. My niece is older than THREE of my siblings.

The excuse that she wasn't expected to be a REAL mother to those children because she was a grandmother is proposterous and shows just how disgusting her mentality towards those children is. My father is sacrificing his life and his health to be a REAL parent to the four minor children still in his home. That he was a grandfather when he became their father is irrelevant. He is their father, their REAL father.

Nancy Campbell is a racist. Her mentality towards those children was ALWAYS colored by the color of their skin. Furthermore, she did NOT merely report the facts. She issued a battle cry for Quiverful families to adopt the heathen orphans out of deep, dark Africa to rescue them. She never CARED what the outcome would be after they were adopted, because adopting them and evangilizing them was what it was supposed to be about. There was never an obligation to do anything else beyond that in the first place.

She is full of nothing but excuses. She's not going to take responsibility for what she did, not to those children, nor to any of the other hundreds of children who suffer because of her battle cry.

Liberian children are STILL being dumped into the US fostercare system unceremoniously and without ties to their past but lots of trauma at the hands of overhwlemed families who had NO business adopting them in the first place.

I did my responsiblity. I reported to the Embassy in Liberia and the Visa Clearinghouse repeatedly what I watched going on in Liberia.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Question

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Yes, but as I said, I was told it was supposed to be published in January but the fact checkers never contacted me at all. So, I don't know what the status on the article is now.

I do know the article is a pre-cursor to a book on the issue. So, the real story will eventually be out there.

Nancy Campbell do nothing but spin a web of deciet and lies. I don't feel better about what happened, nor does it correct her reputation after what she did. She deserves the consequences of what she did. Those children never, ever did.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Her curriculum "far above rubies" RRALLY RRALLY screwed my sister up. :bheart

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

So, were the teens not really adults like she told me? She said that because of the war and all their birth certificates were wrong and that they basically adopted adults who didn't want to be in families but rather just wanted their independence.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

That was the information that I was told I could not share before the article is printed. However, no, they are NOT adults. They are children. One child is a legal adult now. I'm not sure if that child was when the Campbells got rid of the child, but she is an adult now. The others are still minors TODAY, so no they were not adults then if they are not adults now either.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Wow... I'm :popcorn to learn more.

I've always had an off feeling about how SO many people adopt from Ethiopia... it just seemed too fast and too cheap and too popular. And now that they are changing their laws, it's all moving right over to Congo, and I don't feel good about that either, even though I really couldn't count the number of friends I have who either have adopted or are in the process of adopting from either Ethiopia or Congo. I didn't know that it started in Liberia.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I always expect people to tell me the truth. I really don't like being lied to.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I would love to give you more details than this. However, this information was told to me in strict confidence. The research spent over two years putting this information together. Plus, as I said, in addition to the magazine article there is a book about the Liberian adoptions being written which already has a publisher. I can tell you the researcher/journalist/writer is a VERY legitmate source, someone whose name you would recognize, and someone I have met PERSONALLY at this point.

I do not want to interfer with someone's work and career and to reveal details I was told in confidence and asked to not share would do that. I can assure that my information comes from a VERY reliable source and that all will come to light eventually. The shroud of secrecy and the Campbell ability to mask it and hide it will be short-lived at this point.

I doubt it will make a difference in their ministry. Those who buy their line of garbage don't use critical thinking to analyze their naysayers in the first place. If those followers were going to use critical thinking and listen to unbiased and definitive information, then the entire Liberian fiasco wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Liberia was a DISASTER. When it got closed, they mostly moved to Ethiopia. Now that they turned a strong, ethical adoption program into a child grabbing nightmare, yes they are moving to the Congo and they will do the same thing there. THIS behavior by "Christians" is what is slowing putting a stranglehold on international adoption. Their Machiavellian all means are acceptabale to rescue an orphan and teach them about Christ is what is destroying an institution that was meant to be a measure of hope for children with no other options left in their lives.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I cannot wait until that article comes out. I really want to read it.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Slightly OT...but, not everyone who adopted from Ethiopia has/had ill-intentions. I have seen this first hand. :yes

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

This is the first I've heard of any of this. But wow, seems like a big deal.



Is this why so many people are wanting to adopt from Ethiopia? And why the wait times for a child from ethiopia have just gotten really long? :shifty :think

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I totally agree. :yes Like I said, I have many friends who have adopted or are adopting from there and they would all agree that ethical regulations should be in place, and would be horrified to know that anything less than honest was happening there. From what I can tell, it has been so popular because it was the fastest and cheapest country to adopt from, and now Congo is, so many are moving to adopt from there instead.

Sorry if it seemed like I was casting doubt on the *families* who adopt from there. It was meant as more of a question of the country/orphanage side of things.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

No this isn't why so many people wanted to adopt from Ethiopia. So many people were going to Ethiopia because it was relatively fast when the programs started to catch on. You could have an infant in six months start to finish. Most people who adopt have ZERO idea about child trafficking, and that is a big part of why some of these countries are so quick. People want a baby, they want a baby quickly. Most people have zero clue about the ethical pitfalls that can and are present in adoptions and want to give a child who needs a home, a home, and at the same time fill their home that they think needs a child with a child. Adoption is *hard* and for a lot of people it comes at the end of a really long and hard infertility process too. Missionary adoptions exist, but they aren't the largest motivating factor for adoption by any stretch of the imagination.

However if you see a large family with a mix of biological and African children there is a good chance that missionary adoption was a part of it, but not always. TTL is a good example of a large family with biological and adopted children who never was a missionary adopter.

Yes, missionary adoption exists. It is a sad motivation for adoption. But it is a small percentage of all total international adoptions.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

People are adopting from CONGO? :hunh Wow. I live a little bit too close to that craziness to be comfortable with that idea.

Of course, the president here is trying to close all of the orphanages in Rwanda so kids are being fostered out at a rather, in my opinion, alarming rate. But the stats sure look good [/sarcasm].

I'm also curious about TTL's recommendation against reading Primal Wound - I thought that was standard adoption fare? But I haven't read it.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Slight derail:
That happened in Romania when they had to close their orphanages as part of the requirement to join the EU... most of the kids just got kicked to the streets. I'm afraid the same is going to happen in Moldova because the are desperate to join the EU, even though the EU will NEVER take them, now that they have seen what money pits the poorer countries are.

End derail. :)

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

No, not all families adopting from Ethiopia are or ever were this brand of missionary adopter. However, the craze of missionary adopters who were sent by Above Rubies into Liberia and shut the program down turned the majority of their attention towards Ethiopia after Liberia closed. Their ilk is a HUGE part of why Ethiopia is having trouble and trafficking issues are cropping up. And yes, they are turning their attention towards the Congo. It doesn't mean ALL adoptive families in ANY program are this style of adoptive family. It doesn't mean all large adoptive families are this way.

However, the Quiverful readers of Above Rubies who "answered the call" Nancy Campbell put out to adopt for conversion are by huge percentages this way, and they have swarmed programs across Africa to swoop up children to evangelize and rescue them.

There's a several hundred year old missionary fervor amongst ultra Fundamentalist Christians that they need to convert deepest, darkest Africa. They don't generally enter adoption programs outside of Africa because of this mindset. They also have NO concept nor understanding one of the oldest churches in the WORLD is in Africa, nor that most areas of Africa have been at least percentages of Christian while Europe was still in tribal affliations and worshipping druid gods.

When these missionary adopters enter adoption programs, they don't CARE about ethics, morality, or legality. They believe they are fighting for the very souls of children and thus ALL MEANS ARE ACCECPTABLE. They don't care how children are obtained, nor do they care what happens to the children after the message has been provided for them. They adopt with the mentality that they will evangelize these African children, teach them morals and worth ethics, then set them loose into the world grateful that they were rescued by Americans and without family and support. These children are held apart from the "real" family. They and all of the biological children are constantly reinforced that they are different than everyone else.

They are not even the bulk of the call to the church to adopt. They are a minor subset of adoptive families, but the damage they cause is tremendous for everyone. They existed before Nancy Campbell entered the fray. However, she sparked a movement a cause, and a momentum that hasn't stopped even today, despite the destruction left in it's path.

As for Primal Wound, it's not that I don't recommend the book ever. It is NOT a book I would recommend to someone before adopting. It is NOT a book that should be read without balance and experience. Even as a birthmother, I resent a great deal of what is written in the book because it paints ALL adoptees and birthmothers with the SAME cloth--which is ridiculous. It is NOT a book that will prepare you to actually adopt, but will scare you away. It provides no pratical advice on helping an child of adoption with their struggles and healing. I would FAR more likely recommend something such as The Weaver's Craft, Attaching in Adoption, or even Adoption Nation LONG before I would recommend Primal Wound to someone preparing to adopt. Nancy Campbell is recommending that book because she is essentially stating that none of the disaster is HER fault, afterall all adoptees are like this and were doomed to do what happened whether they entered her home or another home. That is malarky.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Pulling this back around to the Campbells.... I think that what you are seeing with their adoptions is a result of their view of children and their view of themselves. They believe they have a corner of Truth and only they can 'save' these people. They believe their ends justifiy their means, but it abuse of what I see as a sacred promise of adoption or abuse of the child itself. They are so convinced they are 'above' that nothing else seems to matter. The rush of others within their group to participate in the Campbell's 'vision' is just another symptom of an abusive community.

(and yes, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse study really is giving me insight to some of th dynamics we see play out with punitive parenting teachers - I find myself saying that a lot lately :shifty)

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Well, since I wasn't sworn to secrecy by a journalist, I will share that my friend P who is very close to Nancy and runs the AR retreats for this region once got a phone call from one of the Liberian girls who was out of the Campbell home. She contacted P because she was contacting everyone with contact info in the AR magazines, attempting to counter what Nancy was saying about her. She made it plain to P that she was abandoned by the family because she wanted more out of life than watching kids, cooking, and cleaning. She wanted to come to America to get her education and make something of herself, and that's not what AR is about :shrug. They want women in the home, having babies. So they shipped her off to another home and basically wrote her off, and then told people that she was 'rebellious' and off the rails behaviorally.
P, being a good little AR Bunny :shifty didn't really believe any of it :-/.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

this is certainly an interesting and eye-opening thread...

so what can you do, as someone thinking of adopting or preparing to adopt, to make yourself aware of the ethics issues and avoid sketchy or downright evil child trafficking practices?

and, back to Stacy's derail - why do countries have to close down their orphanages in order to join the EU?!

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I'm not really sure. Bulgaria still has them and they are EU, but they had to clean them up quite a bit before joining. I'm pretty sure the EU prefers the foster care system, but there probably weren't enough foster parent volunteers to take in all of the kids. Maybe Romania's orphanages were beyond cleaning up to EU standards, so they shut them down instead. :shrug That's total speculation, but educated speculation, having lived in Moldova and visited Romania multiple times, including two Romanian orphanages in 2001.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Romanian orphanages are infamous in Europe I think. certainly in the UK. they used (in the 90s) to be absolutely atrocious for the main part. I had understood they were much better and didn't know that the EU had asked for closure but it may be linked to the historical stuff. or maybe they hadn't cleaned all of them up that much :shrug

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

What I am learning in this thread shines a new light on the Williams Tragedy. :cry

I'm considering linking to this thread in that post, since it is public. :think What do you all think?

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Please remove my posts before you do that :)

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

If the info here was not meant to be public, please remove it. :hug2 I was not planning to copy anything, only to link to what is already a public thread which is probably being indexed by Google even as we speak. If the info is going to be removed, I will not bother to link. :no

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

For general adoption information PLEASE spin off a thread in the adoption forum.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

a thread already exists, actually:

http://gentlechristianmothers.com/co...d.php?t=443716

:heart

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

:ty but I meant a public thread, like this one. ;)

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

Really looking forward to the article & book. I know some Above Rubies fans and I imagine they're quite clueless about all of this.

Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
 

I'm looking forward to the article, too. I know several Above Rubies fans, and one of which the family that adopted from Liberia. Some are not clueless, and it's sad to watch from the outside, what little the outside world is allowed to see.