Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

I think the Pearl kids work with them in their ministry.

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

:jawdrop :scratch

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

AFA I know, they work with them in the "ministry", although I don't believe all of them live nearby. None of the girls have legal marriage licenses, because apparently their holy unions would be sullied by having government paper issued by a 'sodomite' favoring government :rolleyes (Yes, he does actually call on Christian couples to divorce and just shack up to protest gay marriage.) Because, you know, I'm less married and not hetero since my marriage license was issued in a country where gay couples have the same legal rights I do :rolleyes But I digress :shifty

Anyway...I'd never say that his methods 100% of the time produce kids who hate their parents or who don't have a relationship w/them. :think I mean, Ezzo promotes detachment - blanket training, crib time, CIO, get those kids in their place and let them know daddy's needs come first, by golly.

Pearl promotes loving attachment, bf, constant family engagement, dads spending time with their boys, bringing the kids alongside the family - very continuum conceptish. EXCEPT - he also promotes beating the snot out of them with a plastic rod or a tree limb or any other implement you can think of.

So it raises children who on the one hand, have experienced loving parents...and on the other hand, who have never learned to truly process an emotion or make choices for themselves. People who are taught that appearance is all, and as long as it looks good and you can smile then you must be truly happy, right?

People who escape are the exception to this type of punitive upbringing, really. Many of the kids in my generation from subcultures like the one I grew up in are just replicating this with their kids - generation upon generation too scared to question or change :cry Or else they've rejected everything altogether and have been lost to promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, and other harmful and self-punishing behaviors :cry

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

GD'ers don't always stay calm and speak to their children with soft tones and GD'd children don't always drop everything and obey. There is a creepy shadow in the background, something almost robotic in the children's obedience, that you will learn to distinguish.
Right, generally very crunchy. :yes3
It's the Ezzos who are estranged. The Pearls still have their children completely under their control. The girls were given to "husbands" and are considered married by the "church" (their papa) but are not married by the State. They do. think and feel everything their father and/or husband tells them to. :shiver If you want more information about their daughter, Rebekah, you can Google her name. She has a statement about this, in defense of her parents, which you can easily find. I don't know the names of their other children. :O

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

Am I too conspiracy theorist or is it just that I just filed my taxes, but do the Pearls also not endorse "legal marriage" b/c it means you lose more money in taxes through the marriage penalty?

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

So confusing. Maybe I should head over to a more private forum so we can talk about this aspect in depth. Oy. *sigh*

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

My pet conspiracy theory regarding the lack of legal marriage is that they believe it makes it harder for a woman to seek help if she's being abused.

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

I knew literally nothing about the Pearls before the recent discussions, but when I heard that their children, particularly their daughter, work alongside them in the ministry, I had to wonder if it's because they are too scared to do otherwise.

My parents were quite punitive (Dobson style) but also very loving. It wasn't until I hit my 30s that I began to feel comfortable with expressing opinions that differed from them, particularly my dad. For many years as an adult, if I thought my dad was mad at me or disapproved a choice, I would get physically ill worrying over it. And my parents NEVER punished me in the way the Pearls would recommend.

I've been thinking a lot about their adult children this week . . .

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

Well, let's put it this way - and yes, I know this is a public forum :shifty 2 of my siblings wholeheartedly endorse the way we were raised, and one is replicating it with his children.

The extremely punitive style of parenting has been passed down for generations. I'm the only one to stand up and say "you know what? This is c.r.a.z.y. and I refuse to treat my son like this." It doesn't mean I love my parents any less, although we aren't in relationship, haven't been for some time, and I doubt we ever will be again. It does mean that the all-or-nothing lines that get drawn meant we were unable to exist as a cohesive family, who just had some differences. And honestly, it's been gut-wrenching. I've cried and agonized and mourned over the loss of family. I wouldn't have been able to take the step to break away if not for the loving support and encouragement of my husband, and all of those here at GCM who have come alongside me and covered us in prayer as we sought God's best for our son.

We essentially have had to start over. When my son learns family history, it won't be from sitting on his grandfather's knee and hearing stories - it will be from photographs and the good times we've carefully selected to share. And it's such a lonely place to be in. It's had ripples throughout much of the extended family. It's hard.

The knowledge that it's right, and that this is the only way for us to follow God, has been what's kept us going.

It's a scary path to contemplate. It took me *years* from when I knew the day would come - I mean well over a decade - until I was finally able to remove myself completely from their sphere of influence. And so, so, so many people are stuck in a situation like that - to know that to walk away, or to admit you are questioning, means that you lose everyone you hold dear? Or worse, to not even know *how* to question, because you've never had the chance. :cry

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

Wow. I hadn't even considered all those aspects. I am still trying to deal with my suppressed anger over my dad's application of physical discipline when I was a kid. But he was much more on the Dobson end of things (not that I believe he ever read a book about parenting :giggle )

To shift the focus a little - what do the Pearls teach on marital relationships? Anyone know the jist of their book, Created to be his Helpmeet?

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

There is a creepy book called Created to be his Helpmeet. I haven't read it. I know it's been discussed in the Marriage Forum. From what I understand in these discussions, Debi Pearl condones abuse. She's also thinks that whatever your DH wants in the bedroom you need to fulfill. I believe this includes threesomes, etc. It's just gross.

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

One specific example is that she teaches that if your dh molests your child, you should testify against him but stay married to him and when he gets out of prison take him back open armed because by then the child will be an adult and he won't be a risk any longer. 'Cause, you know, God hates divorce.

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

:mad :ph :banghead:mutter

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

Someone above said that Pearls say married couples should get divorced and live together instead, so as not to be married under the same government that also allows homosexual marriage. So, do they support or not support divorce? :scratch

Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
 

I think they support Cocoa Puffs, and being cuckoo for them.

:shifty

:giggle