Stefanierose88
06-02-2016, 09:26 PM
Today was one of those days where I felt like my children all turned into feral animals and I was a total failure at motherhood. Yep, one of those days. Literally all three kids ended up naked running circles around me. :no
Soooooo, my biggest little instigator is my 3yr old DD2. She may have some actual behavioral issues that need some deeper assessment, but putting that aside for a moment I had an idea that I would like input on.
She will get into these episodes where she will rip off all her clothing, run away from me, call me mean names (or her sisters) and then start hitting me or her sisters if I try to get her. Sometimes I HAVE to get her dressed because we need to leave the house. But mostly, I admit, it just angers me so much that she disrespects me. I get angry, and I end up getting into power struggles with her and putting her in her room.
If I put her in her room, I stand there with her and she starts screaming and crying "MOMMY HUGGY MOMMY HUGGY!" Just a moment earlier she was biting me, hitting me, using names, etc. I usually don't feel like giving her a hug immediately because I am angry, and also because I feel conflicted about if its the right choice.
I always end up hugging her, and she snuggles me as close as she can without nursing (she was weaned about 2 months ago because I am pregnant).
The IDEA is this, when she starts her intentionally egging me on behavior ("I'm not listening! Your a poopy head! Your stupid!") I will attempt to say something like "Liora, would you like a hug from mommy?" and get down on the floor with her.
This probably not revolutionary for you here, but although I have gentle ideals and really do strive every day to implement them; I struggle with blatant intentional misbehavior. It triggers for me feelings of "oh no! I am raising a child who has zero respect for me! I'm messing up!"
She has episodes of raging that come from nowhere, but thats another issue. This isnt her out of control, this is her doing it on purpose. I believe the purpose is to get Mommy's attention. Again, maybe obvious from the outside but I had to really think about it and discuss with DH tonight. We are BOTH beat.
Does this sound right? Or am I encouraging it more by giving her attention? I am so confused sometimes.
Soooooo, my biggest little instigator is my 3yr old DD2. She may have some actual behavioral issues that need some deeper assessment, but putting that aside for a moment I had an idea that I would like input on.
She will get into these episodes where she will rip off all her clothing, run away from me, call me mean names (or her sisters) and then start hitting me or her sisters if I try to get her. Sometimes I HAVE to get her dressed because we need to leave the house. But mostly, I admit, it just angers me so much that she disrespects me. I get angry, and I end up getting into power struggles with her and putting her in her room.
If I put her in her room, I stand there with her and she starts screaming and crying "MOMMY HUGGY MOMMY HUGGY!" Just a moment earlier she was biting me, hitting me, using names, etc. I usually don't feel like giving her a hug immediately because I am angry, and also because I feel conflicted about if its the right choice.
I always end up hugging her, and she snuggles me as close as she can without nursing (she was weaned about 2 months ago because I am pregnant).
The IDEA is this, when she starts her intentionally egging me on behavior ("I'm not listening! Your a poopy head! Your stupid!") I will attempt to say something like "Liora, would you like a hug from mommy?" and get down on the floor with her.
This probably not revolutionary for you here, but although I have gentle ideals and really do strive every day to implement them; I struggle with blatant intentional misbehavior. It triggers for me feelings of "oh no! I am raising a child who has zero respect for me! I'm messing up!"
She has episodes of raging that come from nowhere, but thats another issue. This isnt her out of control, this is her doing it on purpose. I believe the purpose is to get Mommy's attention. Again, maybe obvious from the outside but I had to really think about it and discuss with DH tonight. We are BOTH beat.
Does this sound right? Or am I encouraging it more by giving her attention? I am so confused sometimes.