Getting dd to stop crying without stuffing her feelings

[Blue Aurora]

Dd is almost 4. When she gets upset she does these really loud sobs. I'm often telling her to stop or be quiet especially when dd2 is sleeping. I'm afraid I'm teaching her to stuff her big feelings. She will choke back her crying sometimes. I want her to express herself and I'm fine with crying just not wailing so loud she can't hear me unless I yell. Waking the baby is a big trigger for me so I just get really demanding that she stop or go away. How do I handle it better?

[WingsOfTheMorning]

:hug My 4yo has some pretty loud sobs too! Is there a part if the house she can wail and not wake up the baby?

[RedPetals]

If it's too loud for ears/the baby, can she cry into a pillow? Or in her room/ comfy spot with door closed ( with you if she needs you?)

[3boysforme]

My 6 year old is a very loud, dramatic crier....and he is very sensitive (my sweet T2 boy :heart) so he cries often. :yes


He isn't waking babies, but I do tell him he needs to go in his room to finish because he is hurting my ears. If he cannot go in his room, I will ask him to stop because it is hurting me (it is seriously sensory overload for me when he is non stop crying like that :shifty)

I need to work with him on using words to express his feelings instead of the crying, but I am not the best at doing that in the middle of my sensory overload :doh

[MegMarch]

Maybe make her a special crying place stocked with tissues, a cuddly toy and some books for after she calms down, and a pillow to sob into?

[Blue Aurora]

Often she wants to be with me but if I'm holding a sleeping toddler that doesn't work so great and it makes me so anxious I end up being very curt and dismissive.

Dh struggles with it from the sensory aspect especially in the van where its a confined space.

[MegMarch]

Maybe you guys can have a big pretend sobfest and practice wailing, whimpering, etc?

[3boysforme]

Dh struggles with it from the sensory aspect especially in the van where its a confined space.

Oh yea, in the truck it is just awful. I feel like I am trapped in there, having my senses assaulted :shiver. Its hard :yes

:hug its hard, you don't want to have them stuffing their feelings but..... it gets old quick :shifty