how to reflect feelings when they say this...

[greenishmama]

almost 5 yr old DS blames others for his hurts and accidents over and over when it's not even logical. Like just now, I was across the room combing 7 yr old DS's hair and 5 yr DS was playing with a rubber band. Well it snapped him in the cheek- really bad! (never saw a mark like that) As I tried to comfort him (which he yells and freaks out if I want to DO anything like put arnica or ice on something) he then started blaming 7 yr old ds saying it was all his fault. How do I respond to that? I'm not good at reflecting feelings (mostly forget) but I have trouble saying "you feel it's all his fault" cause it's not even remotely true!
Ideas on what to say to respond?


while I'm here... he'll also say other irrational things when he's upset like if his mittens are wet outside he'll end up saying "I'm going to wear them forever and never take them off" (when really he's upset and wants them off. ?) or well, there's other strange stuff he says too. Like when he was upset about me apparently not helping him get up off the floor instantaneously he started talking about taking his underwear off. :scratch

[MarynMunchkins]

He's at that "words are magic" stage.

For blaming other people, I'll usually say "It's not their fault. It doesn't need to be anyone's fault. Let me help you feel better."

For the rest, talking about magic helps me with that. "Oh, that stinks. Wouldn't it be great if we had a magic wand that could <make mittens dry, clean up the toys, do our chores>?" Playing with them and enjoying the fantasy (I'd like a magic wand to do my chores!) gets them distracted. :)

[Love_Is_Patient]

ITA w/ Mary.

If you want something short and sweet, you could also go with 'That really hurt!' or 'You're really upset that you got hurt.' Reflect the actual feeling, without the blaming.

[bentlaj11]

:popcorn Sounds like he's related to Bug! He says the same things!