What Motivates You?

[FaithHopeLove]

Regarding keeping up your house, cooking, holiday plans and prep, etc. -- why do you do what you do? What motivates you the most?

Is it that you absolutely love a certain level of order? Are you unable to function in clutter? Is it that if you don't get x and y done, z isn't happening? (Such as, the kitchen must be cleaned so you can cook tomorrow, laundry washed or the mornings will be a problem.) Is it just what you were taught? Is it shame? Obligation? Joy?

Has anyone struggled with motivation and solved the problem? How did you do it?

I'm just curious and dissecting the issue for myself. :)

---------- Post added at 10:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:52 AM ----------

I have been surprised at how much shame is a motivator for me. I grew up in pretty close to squalor and it brought a deep shame for me, as well as great discomfort in my surroundings and never feeling "at home". Somewhere deep down inside of me this drives me. I don't want my child to feel this way. I don't want others to look down on me because my home is not clean, or orderly. I like how it feels for things to be more in order, though I'm no neatnik.

[Elora]

Regarding keeping up your house - I am MESSY!!! I adore my husband and don't want to cause him any more work than he already has with 3 littles...so I do try to clean up better. I am not so sure he believes this though :roll The other thing that has motivated me is "survival" ...I was constantly looking for *everything* ...after having kids I couldn't function like this, so it forced me to become more organized if I wanted to actually be able to get out of the housoe. If it were up to me I'd spend my whole life running around doing fun things and never be home long enough to clean...I would throw all of my bags and everything else right inside the front door and there they would sit forever and then when I needed something from them I wouldn't be able to find it because it'd been sitting there so long.

cooking - love of food :shifty I cook for MYSELF. If other ppl like it whatever. If they don't...whatever :shrug3 If they don't want to eat it, great...more for me.

holiday plans and prep, etc. -- why do you do what you do? What motivates you the most? FUN. I think it's fun to have people over.

Is it that you absolutely love a certain level of order? Nope :lol

Are you unable to function in clutter? I can function in clutter. It does take me longer though :lol I have learned to just throw things away whenever i can. I love throwing this away. I don't like "picking up" so if I can eliminate the need and have less to pick up, that does help.

Is it that if you don't get x and y done, z isn't happening? (Such as, the kitchen must be cleaned so you can cook tomorrow, laundry washed or the mornings will be a problem.) Yes - but this goes back to the kids and needing to have certain things done in order to get out of the house...laundry and dishes need to be orderly...it already takes long enough with everything done lol...pre-kids none of this was a problem for me because i could improvise in 1% of the time it takes me to get out the door with my 3

Is it just what you were taught? Is it shame? Obligation? Joy? Nah, sheer necessity and love for my dh :lol I may be incapable of feeling shame...and if I were "what I was taught" ...well let's just say I'm not. I don't do much out of obligation unless it's a Really Big Deal. I guess I get some joy throwing things away but it more stems from "YES! something I will NEVEr have to pick up AGAIN!!!"

Has anyone struggled with motivation and solved the problem? How did you do it? Habit. I had to create habits. Outside accountability helped.

I'm just curious and dissecting the issue for myself. Good questions :heart

[marbles]

I love a clean house, a schedule, a plan, routine, order and openness and sunshine. I'm not very good at those things, so what is pushing me to get better is to hang onto the beautiful feeling of cleanliness. I institute small changes at a time and bask in my improvement. "Daniel did you see I washed all the dishes before I went to bed!!" Every night of the week :) when I am feeling unmotivated I tell myself that we all feel better and can do the things we enjoy when things are clean. I try to remember what it felt like when a certain room was perfectly clean and organized. I imagine the room full of sunlight and sparkling, myself dressed in clothes I like, having a cup of tea or playing blocks with the kids because I have no chores to do. So my answer to all your questions: feeeeeeeelings!

[MomtoJGJ]

What keeps me motivated...

:bag :shifty it being clean enough that the kids can keep it clean enough in about 10 minutes of work each per day, plus about 5 extra minutes for the kotd. :bag

I do dishes and the occasional laundry and I do toilets and tubs/sinks once a week. So basically my work is about 10 minutes a day as well.

But that's just the living portion and kid areas of the house... our room is a disaster because I haven't had a chance to take care of it lately :shifty

[FaithHopeLove]

Regarding keeping up your house - I am MESSY!!! I adore my husband and don't want to cause him any more work than he already has with 3 littles...so I do try to clean up better. I am not so sure he believes this though :roll The other thing that has motivated me is "survival" ...I was constantly looking for *everything* ...after having kids I couldn't function like this, so it forced me to become more organized if I wanted to actually be able to get out of the housoe. If it were up to me I'd spend my whole life running around doing fun things and never be home long enough to clean...I would throw all of my bags and everything else right inside the front door and there they would sit forever and then when I needed something from them I wouldn't be able to find it because it'd been sitting there so long.

cooking - love of food :shifty I cook for MYSELF. If other ppl like it whatever. If they don't...whatever :shrug3 If they don't want to eat it, great...more for me.

holiday plans and prep, etc. -- why do you do what you do? What motivates you the most? FUN. I think it's fun to have people over.

Is it that you absolutely love a certain level of order? Nope :lol

Are you unable to function in clutter? I can function in clutter. It does take me longer though :lol I have learned to just throw things away whenever i can. I love throwing this away. I don't like "picking up" so if I can eliminate the need and have less to pick up, that does help.

Is it that if you don't get x and y done, z isn't happening? (Such as, the kitchen must be cleaned so you can cook tomorrow, laundry washed or the mornings will be a problem.) Yes - but this goes back to the kids and needing to have certain things done in order to get out of the house...laundry and dishes need to be orderly...it already takes long enough with everything done lol...pre-kids none of this was a problem for me because i could improvise in 1% of the time it takes me to get out the door with my 3

Is it just what you were taught? Is it shame? Obligation? Joy? Nah, sheer necessity and love for my dh :lol I may be incapable of feeling shame...and if I were "what I was taught" ...well let's just say I'm not. I don't do much out of obligation unless it's a Really Big Deal. I guess I get some joy throwing things away but it more stems from "YES! something I will NEVEr have to pick up AGAIN!!!"

Has anyone struggled with motivation and solved the problem? How did you do it? Habit. I had to create habits. Outside accountability helped.

I'm just curious and dissecting the issue for myself. Good questions :heart

Elora, great response! You had me laughing all through it! :giggle There was so much great stuff I didn't know how to quote it all, so I bolded mostly the things having to do with what basically boils down to me of necessity = motivation and follow through. And the reward is getting out of the house more smoothly with kids so you can have some fun? Is that right?

What kind of accountability did you use?

---------- Post added at 05:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:18 PM ----------

What keeps me motivated...

:bag :shifty it being clean enough that the kids can keep it clean enough in about 10 minutes of work each per day, plus about 5 extra minutes for the kotd. :bag

I do dishes and the occasional laundry and I do toilets and tubs/sinks once a week. So basically my work is about 10 minutes a day as well.

But that's just the living portion and kid areas of the house... our room is a disaster because I haven't had a chance to take care of it lately :shifty

Wow! Ten minutes a DAY? How do you DO that?

And what motivates you to want it clean? I understand the motivation to keep things at a point where it's a ten minute deal for you and the kids to get things ship shape again, but why not just let things go?

---------- Post added at 05:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:20 PM ----------

I love a clean house, a schedule, a plan, routine, order and openness and sunshine. I'm not very good at those things, so what is pushing me to get better is to hang onto the beautiful feeling of cleanliness. I institute small changes at a time and bask in my improvement. "Daniel did you see I washed all the dishes before I went to bed!!" Every night of the week :) when I am feeling unmotivated I tell myself that we all feel better and can do the things we enjoy when things are clean. I try to remember what it felt like when a certain room was perfectly clean and organized. I imagine the room full of sunlight and sparkling, myself dressed in clothes I like, having a cup of tea or playing blocks with the kids because I have no chores to do. So my answer to all your questions: feeeeeeeelings!

Mary Keala -- LOVE this! I never thought of "openess and sunshine". Love how you visualize and remember what order feels like and how it leads to more rest and enjoying your home and family.

As a big NF, I can relate to feeeeeeeeeeeelings! :heart :giggle

[kiloyd]

As for keeping up my house, I feel good when the kitchen is clean. Well really when all of it is picked up.

I can stand mess for a couple days then I start screaming.

[Beth1231]

I also looove tossing stuff and thinking "yay!! Ill never have to pick that up again!"
My main motivations to clean: My husband and my love for him. Hes Acts of Service big time. I like clean,open spaces with lots of light. It changes everyones mood for the good and brings out the kids' creativity (iow,they see the big,open space and bring out more stuff.:P~

As A has gotten older,shes steadily becoming more of a motivation as well. I want her to have a decent example of a mom and dad who keep the house in good living condition.

[MomtoJGJ]

Wow! Ten minutes a DAY? How do you DO that?

And what motivates you to want it clean? I understand the motivation to keep things at a point where it's a ten minute deal for you and the kids to get things ship shape again, but why not just let things go?


Well, I don't really care, but I think I don't care because I was never taught to actually do anything. I was an only child and we lived in a tiny two bedroom house. My mom cleaned while I was at school. All my toys were in the basement, so I never had to clean them, and I only had to clean my room when my mom couldn't walk to my closet to put up my clothes :shifty

So the reason I want to keep it to the 10 minute level is so that my kids grow up 1.) knowing how to clean 2.)wanting it clean and 3.)aren't afraid to clean.

I think most people prefer other people's houses to be clean... not spotless, but clean. Our house is definitely lived in almost 24/7 by now 7 people. I gave up on spotless ;)

[kiloyd]

I'm pretty happy if the kitchen and living room are clean. The LR is easy now because my kids are old enough that toys mostly stay in their rooms, not always, but mostly. Right now there has been a puzzle on the coffee table for 3 days. It needs to get done soon or put away.

Seeing beds made makes the rooms look neater too. And my bed making just means pull the covers up to the pillows. 2 seconds

[JenLovie]

I like the idea of having everything clean and organized. I'm horrible at cleaning and I don't like to do it. I'd be content to pay to have my house cleaned, but we don't have money for that right now. Why do I clean? I like for my house to be clean and I do better if its organized. I like to entertain and I want a clean house for that as well. Our downstairs (living room, kitchen and office) is mostly clean (not the office, but it has doors) and is the part of the house we focus on cleaning the most. Our bedroom and my sewing room are the messiest because our guests never go in them. I'd love to get our room cleaner.

[shekinah]

My main motivator is when I know someone is going to come over :shifty That gets me scrubbing like never before! ;)

But really, it's knowing just how much more work it's going to be later if I let it go too long. I hate getting stuck in a cycle of I can't do X thing I want to do because of the clutter or mess or no dishes available to cook with. If things get to the point where I have to clean up first to do something enticing, then I get too overwhelmed. It takes way too long, and I have to put it off and spend the whole day cleaning. I like to be able to live my life in my home, having things clean and ready to work in, not have to step around it and make compromises.

Also, there is a bit of fear. Like if someone knocks on the door, and the house is a mess, I ignore it and stay still and silent until they go away. I would like to be able to open the door, even if just for the mail delivery because I feel a mess is too personal and intimate. I like things put away if people can see into the house, that way they don't see "me" but my "things". I think this stems from having landlords who were constantly knocking and then picking the locks and coming in anyway, even if I was home. It was so invasive. I just sit there in terror waiting for someone to come in all the time when it's a mess. I can relax and be more spontaneous if the house is clean. I can feel free to not panic if someone is on their way. I can be at peace with my surroundings instead of at war with them.

It also just creates a never ending to do list in my head when I look around and see mess. I can't truly rest and enjoy something else if I know I *should* be taking care of cleaning. That creates too much stress for me.

[FaithHopeLove]

My main motivator is when I know someone is going to come over :shifty That gets me scrubbing like never before! ;)

But really, it's knowing just how much more work it's going to be later if I let it go too long. I hate getting stuck in a cycle of I can't do X thing I want to do because of the clutter or mess or no dishes available to cook with. If things get to the point where I have to clean up first to do something enticing, then I get too overwhelmed. It takes way too long, and I have to put it off and spend the whole day cleaning. I like to be able to live my life in my home, having things clean and ready to work in, not have to step around it and make compromises.

Also, there is a bit of fear. Like if someone knocks on the door, and the house is a mess, I ignore it and stay still and silent until they go away. I would like to be able to open the door, even if just for the mail delivery because I feel a mess is too personal and intimate. I like things put away if people can see into the house, that way they don't see "me" but my "things". I think this stems from having landlords who were constantly knocking and then picking the locks and coming in anyway, even if I was home. It was so invasive. I just sit there in terror waiting for someone to come in all the time when it's a mess. I can relax and be more spontaneous if the house is clean. I can feel free to not panic if someone is on their way. I can be at peace with my surroundings instead of at war with them.

It also just creates a never ending to do list in my head when I look around and see mess. I can't truly rest and enjoy something else if I know I *should* be taking care of cleaning. That creates too much stress for me.

Wow, I could almost have written this word for word, except for the avoiding the door part when there's a mess. I have a new landlord and she's been here a LOT, which is a huge motivator but also makes me feel like I can't relax. (Your landlords PICKED THE LOCKS? OH MY GOODNESS! :jawdrop :mad You must have felt SO violated!)

I'm with you though on the not wanting the job to get exponentially bigger if I don't keep up with it. Why is that? Often it's essentially the same work, but it's so much more bearable in small doses, rather than a stressful major effort all at one time.

---------- Post added at 10:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:51 AM ----------

I like the idea of having everything clean and organized. I'm horrible at cleaning and I don't like to do it. I'd be content to pay to have my house cleaned, but we don't have money for that right now. Why do I clean? I like for my house to be clean and I do better if its organized. I like to entertain and I want a clean house for that as well. Our downstairs (living room, kitchen and office) is mostly clean (not the office, but it has doors) and is the part of the house we focus on cleaning the most. Our bedroom and my sewing room are the messiest because our guests never go in them. I'd love to get our room cleaner.

When you say "I'm horrible at cleaning . . .", what does that mean exactly?

Some friends have told me before they think that I "love" to clean . . . oh so not true. I love the results though! I guess I can find some pleasure in the process sometimes, the meditative parts of it, but I would much rather find that sort of thing in more fun pursuits! But cleaning is necessary.

I moved from a two story to a one story and that has drastically changed my sense of privacy and what others are easily able to see. Kind of interesting. :think

---------- Post added at 10:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:54 AM ----------

I'm pretty happy if the kitchen and living room are clean. The LR is easy now because my kids are old enough that toys mostly stay in their rooms, not always, but mostly. Right now there has been a puzzle on the coffee table for 3 days. It needs to get done soon or put away.

Seeing beds made makes the rooms look neater too. And my bed making just means pull the covers up to the pillows. 2 seconds

I remember the deluge of baby toys when dc was little and wondering what on earth to *do* with them all! It's so nice when they mostly go in other areas!

---------- Post added at 10:57 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 AM ----------

Well, I don't really care, but I think I don't care because I was never taught to actually do anything. I was an only child and we lived in a tiny two bedroom house. My mom cleaned while I was at school. All my toys were in the basement, so I never had to clean them, and I only had to clean my room when my mom couldn't walk to my closet to put up my clothes :shifty

So the reason I want to keep it to the 10 minute level is so that my kids grow up 1.) knowing how to clean 2.)wanting it clean and 3.)aren't afraid to clean.

I think most people prefer other people's houses to be clean... not spotless, but clean. Our house is definitely lived in almost 24/7 by now 7 people. I gave up on spotless ;)

I grew up with things in utter chaos and no one taught me how to do anything. I had to teach myself *everything* and it's so important to me that my dc knows how to do this stuff. I love that you have it down to a ten minute model. What does that look like in very practical, a/b/c terms?

[JenLovie]

I was never taught how to clean new had a cleaning lady when I was a kid and so I never dusted or vacuumed. I had to keep my room picked up and help with dishes and such after dinner, but that was it. I want to teach my kids the habit of cleaning so it's a natural process for them to sweep the floor regularly, not just when it's past due. Does that make sense?

[MomtoJGJ]

First of all, I think it only works in 10 minutes because I have at least 5 people doing it... when dh is home when we are cleaning that means an hour worth of work is done in 10 minutes time!

I outline what is happening, set and start the timer, and off everyone goes to their jobs. Generally I give jobs and if they finish before the time is up they either help a sister or find something else to clean up.

Upstairs we have:
-Clean their room (pick up stuff off the floor, make up beds, put clothes in hamper),
-Clean playroom (pick up toys/books and put them where they belong, pick up videos, put clothes in hamper, put garbage in garbage can),
-clean hallway (pick up anything on the floor and put it where it belongs, close linen closet door),
-clean their bathroom (pick up anything off the floor to where it belongs, wipe out sink and tub with a clorox wipe, flush toilet, wipe outside of toilet with a clorox wipe)....
-other things to do (pick up any toys in mommy and daddy's room floor, pick up dirty clothes out of mommy and daddy's floor, wipe sink/tub/toilet in master bath, wipe down light switches/wall/doorknobs, sweep bathrooms)

Downstairs:
-clean up living room (pick up anything out of the floor and put it where it belongs, toys go in grey box or upstairs where they belong, take dishes to sink, take clothes to laundry room, garbage in garbage can)
-clean up school room/hallway ( pick up anything out of floor, toys in grey box or upstairs, stack school books and tidy shelves, garbage to the garbage can, clothes to the laundry room)
-kitchen ( pick up anything out of floor, unload/load dishwasher, wipe down counter/sink, sweep floor, swiffer floor, wipe off appliances/cabinets, take out garbage if full, take out recycling)
-dining room (pick up anything out of floor, clear table/dishes to sink/wipe off table, clean off little table that is a catch-all, sweep/swiffer)
-bathroom (pick up anything off the floor, wipe down sink/toilet, sweep, swiffer, take out garbage if full)
-other things to do: wipe down walls and light switches/doorknobs, take things out of grey box to where they belong, sweep off deck, feed dogs, wipe wood stove/organ, laundry)

I will give each child a room upstairs, then we do 5 minutes. Then I give each child a room downstairs, then we do 5 minutes. If it's REALLY bad or if they are fighting or we have company coming we will do an extra amount of cleaning... Generally it's either laundry or clean up either their age of things, 10 things, or twice their age of things, and once a week we empty the grey box.

Normally it takes way less than the 5 minutes to get a room tidy and clean. DH vacuums, which is why that is not on the list. I normally do the kitchen, well, the counters/sink/dishwasher/stove. I also do the inside of the toilets and normally am the one to clean the tub and sink in the master bath. I also change the sheets when it's time for that.