Tandem mama
12-02-2011, 06:43 PM
Sunshine has had a rough week. Schedules are crazy and emotions are high. Yesterday I yelled and today she went to be with my parents. They took her to story time at the library while Charlotte and I had early on. I let them keep her all day. She loves being with them and I really needed a break.
She was dropped off in the midst of a meltdown. She didn't want to come home. I held her because she asked me to. until she continually screamed in my face that she hated me. I put her in the comfort corner and asked her to work on big breaths so that she could calm down. I told her i would be happy to listen and talk but I didn't like how she was talking to me and I needed to walk away because it was unkind and disrespectful. She'd say "sorry! Hold me" so I would. Then she'd say "I hate you" I think she was testing to see how often I'd forgive so I continued to pick her up when she said she would stop. I know she's feeling lonely because I've been sick and dh has been gone a lot. I know she needed the reassurance that I will forgive and be there for her. But I really couldn't take the screaming in my face. So I put her down when she did it. She then decided to try and run away. I locked the door and she sat by it screaming. I let her know i was here if she needed me and then continued my conversation with my friend who was over. Sunshine needs to just get the feelings out so I made it clear I was here and then let her have the feelings. I watched to be sure she (and everyone else) was safe but I let her feel it and didn't try to reason. If she told me "I'm just so sad" I'd say "it is very sad when you have to come home after having fun" and just validate her feelings but I stopped responding to unkind words (after the first explanation I simply put her down every time. Followed through but didn't engage)
It took an hour. She had several meltdowns yesterday. It's been a loooong week. I prayed and breathed deeply as she was having her meltdown because these are often triggers for my anger and punitive mindset. God helped me through it. Thankfully!!! :pray4 tomorrow is better
She was dropped off in the midst of a meltdown. She didn't want to come home. I held her because she asked me to. until she continually screamed in my face that she hated me. I put her in the comfort corner and asked her to work on big breaths so that she could calm down. I told her i would be happy to listen and talk but I didn't like how she was talking to me and I needed to walk away because it was unkind and disrespectful. She'd say "sorry! Hold me" so I would. Then she'd say "I hate you" I think she was testing to see how often I'd forgive so I continued to pick her up when she said she would stop. I know she's feeling lonely because I've been sick and dh has been gone a lot. I know she needed the reassurance that I will forgive and be there for her. But I really couldn't take the screaming in my face. So I put her down when she did it. She then decided to try and run away. I locked the door and she sat by it screaming. I let her know i was here if she needed me and then continued my conversation with my friend who was over. Sunshine needs to just get the feelings out so I made it clear I was here and then let her have the feelings. I watched to be sure she (and everyone else) was safe but I let her feel it and didn't try to reason. If she told me "I'm just so sad" I'd say "it is very sad when you have to come home after having fun" and just validate her feelings but I stopped responding to unkind words (after the first explanation I simply put her down every time. Followed through but didn't engage)
It took an hour. She had several meltdowns yesterday. It's been a loooong week. I prayed and breathed deeply as she was having her meltdown because these are often triggers for my anger and punitive mindset. God helped me through it. Thankfully!!! :pray4 tomorrow is better