Bossy Brother

[joyinthejourney]

What can I do to help my newly 5yo ds stop bossing his lil 2.5 yo sis and his friends? I keep telling him in simple terms that no one likes being told what to do and what to play, so I just keep hoping repetition will help, eventually. I also try to ask him how he'd feel if xyz happened (a little "supposing" story of someone telling him to do something he doesnt like).

Any other suggestions? And, what about stories/fairy tales that might touch on this behavior?

[swimming with sharks]

Ds I am her mom. You do not need to tell her what to do. rinse, repeat, ad nauseum.

[MarynMunchkins]

I tell mine, "If you'd like to be in charge of something, <insert chore here>." ;)

[joyinthejourney]

Ds I am her mom. You do not need to tell her what to do. rinse, repeat, ad nauseum.

When he tries to parent her, he seems to understand and stop when I remind him he doesn't have to do that, bc I'm the mama.

But, he doesn't seem to get that he shouldn't be in charge of (and the winner of) every game, pretend play, prop placement, etc.

---------- Post added at 05:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:51 PM ----------

I tell mine, "If you'd like to be in charge of something, <insert chore here>." ;)

I don't know if he'd get that connection...:think. I think he'd need something more concrete. He doesn't associate being the "decider and rule maker" of all games, with doing chores around the house.

[NewCovenantMama]

Bossiness can be a sign of natural leadership skills. How do his sister and friends respond when he takes charge? Does it cause problems for them?

[joyinthejourney]

Yes, he's a good leader. But, I want to teach him balance. A couple of his friends stop playing with him and come tell me he's being bossy. I try to relate for him that bossy behavior=no friends. But, I'm not sure he gets which behavior is ok and how not to go too far. I explain that he can't tell others what to do, and use examples of something he said right, vs something he said which was bossy. But, I'm not sure he's getting the connection, still.

His sister reacts with complete frustration. I repeat to him constantly that she can do things her own way, and that's ok, even of its not how he does it. Still not sure if that's computing. He's so natural at leading, I think the concept of a line of ok vs too far is pretty abstract.