Car Discipline For A School Car Pool

[runningmama]

Help! I'm at my wits end! Taking 3 6 yo's to school every morning but struggling with having a calm, safe environment in the car. :banghead

What are your uncompromising rules in the car? How do you enforce them? What things do you let slide?

[Rabbit]

Absolutely no abusing each other, and no (excessive) distraction of the driver.

To prevent, I give them something to eat. When hands and mouths are full of something nummy, there's less fighting. There are few other options for small children strapped to carseats. When they're older, car games, lap boards and books can take over. Some moms use car DVD's, or handheld electronic games.

(I saw the 3 6 and heard in my head three year olds. 6 is the cusp between food alone, and other distractions working.)

[runningmama]

Food has become projectiles in the past so I am reticent to offer more. There is often escalating behavior that becomes abusive. We have pulled over the car but we are driving through rush hour traffic so this is not always possible. What kinds of consequences, for lack of a better word, do you have if abuse takes place?

[Rabbit]

I pull over and refuse to get back in until they're calm. Which is not an option on a schedule, I know.

I might refuse to car pool.

[runningmama]

That is kind of where we're at. It's my DS and another little boy that really cannot handle each other. They do not sit next to each other but that doesn't help much. Today the other boy kicked my DS in the face. We've contacted the parents and told them they need to take him tomorrow because of this incident but we don't know what else to do.

[Rabbit]

I think you've gone as far as you can. For a volunteer thing with a child not your own. :hug

[swimming with sharks]

:hunh:jawdrop Yeah I think it's time you say Sorry, we can't carpool with you anymore. :shrug3 You've crossed over the line from 'poor' car behavior to outright dangerous car behavior. If that happened between my children, we would not go ANYWHERE in the car that we did not ABSOLUTELY have to go until I saw an *OBVIOUS* change of behavior. :think Is this both boys EQUALLY not getting along or is one pushing the others buttons? I might at 6 if it was both boys, make mine do an extra chore (or work next to me) to help me redeem the time I was going to lose by not being able to carpool.

[runningmama]

I would have to say it's mostly the other boy pushing DS's buttons. His family's going through some rough times and the parents are pretty caught up in their own stuff. I think that's why I feel bad about saying that's it. But, you're right, it is getting dangerous and they are able to take him to school.:-/ I'm dreading the confrontation, mom is a bit emotionally unstable.

[Rabbit]

"The boys aren't getting along in the car, and it's draining. I think they will do better separated, so we will be driving DS to school by himself."

She might blame you or your boy, but that's her problem. Invite her to whatever it is you two enjoy together, as soon as you drop the news that carpool is over.

[runningmama]

We drive a little girl too and she only lives a few blocks from this family, so unfortunately I think I have to give a bit more of an explainer. :shifty

[Rabbit]

I don't think you need more explanation, but you will have to talk to other mom about what she wants to do about carpool.

[mrsd]

Can you get children's books on CD for them to listen to from your library? "Chapter books" work well since the story continues from day to day.

[DavidKelleyMay18]

If you decide to get back to it I've found that games like how many blue cars, white cars etc.. you can find helps.

Kelley

[runningmama]

Thank younso much for the suggestions. While books or simple car games would work for my son and the little girl, the other boy has some developmental or other issues going on. They're working with OT and a counselor to pinpoint his issues. Those type games just wouldn't distract him. We decided to call the parents and call it quits.

[kiloyd]

I was first thinking they were all yours. But yes, if it is just not working, it's not working. It's not worth the hassle and the aggravation it adds to your morning.