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Two Little Birds
11-02-2011, 08:48 PM
When I tell ds1 I am frustrated with him or his actions, he starts freaking out, telling me I can't be frustrated or to not be frustrated. This happens most when I am cool, calm and collected.

I can't think of an example off the top of my head.

He is a sensitive boy. Spirited.
Two Little Birds
11-03-2011, 09:51 AM
Anyone?
mezzBreath
11-03-2011, 10:06 AM
have you asked him why he thinks that? or maybe what he thinks you should be instead?
Two Little Birds
11-03-2011, 10:38 AM
He wants me to be "happy" with him.
Joanne
11-06-2011, 09:42 AM
Let him have his feelings. Do not change your position on the feedback. Tell him that you can be frustrated and still love him. And that he can be upset, and it is still all ok.
WanderingJuniper
11-06-2011, 09:59 AM
It used to upset me when my parents would say their frustrated or disappointed in me as a child. Thing is they were healthily expressing those feelings. My reaction was mine. I was a very sensitive spirited child. You could look at me the wrong way and I'd hide or cry. It's okay for you to express your frustration. You're molding a safe healthy way to do that. It's also normal for children who are sensitive to not like the stronger emotions or expression of them.
mezzBreath
11-06-2011, 11:18 AM
im sorry for such a delayed response!

it might help to normalize the feelings. "mommy has big feelings just like you have big feelings!" maybe give him an example he can relate to. "remember how you felt when big sister broke your truck? you were upset! that's how mommy feels when you threw my phone after i asked you not to touch it.my phone is important to me like your truck is important to you."
mezzBreath
11-06-2011, 03:31 PM
just some script ideas...

"you have a hard time with mommy's frustration/anger/etc... but mommy's feel big feelings just like you. i know big feelings can be hard... sometimes they are hard for mommy! but when big feelings are hard for me, i get help from Jesus. who helps you with your big feelings?"

"even when I feel frustrated, it doesn't change my love for you. it means that i need to ask Jesus for help with my feelings, and you and i need to figure out a way to help you stop doing/change/etc... x (whatever it is that is causing this response in mommy)..."