sneaking food and hiding to eat

[Blue Aurora]

My 7.5 year old snuck peanut butter and hid to eat it and the lied to his dad about eating it. Stuff like this really messes with my fear of food issues with my children. How do u deal with stuff like this?

He's been sneaking lots of stuff lately: tv in the morning before we wake up, the iphone until we put a lock on it.

I asked him if he just wanted the pb or he was hungry and he said he was hungry but he eats a tremendous amount of food and is always saying he is hungry.

[Mama Calidad]

I read it at first as sneaking book and hiding to eat and it sounded like an excellent idea. Little reading, little snacking. :doh

I have a lot of trouble asking people for things. Even when I have no reason to believe that asking would upset them. It's just nearly impossible sometimes. So, that colors how I view this and it might not be the right color at all. :shifty

[bolt.]

I wonder if there might be too much regulation going on, with respect to his age?

When was the last time you reviewed your house rules -vs- maturity dynamic? I'm not saying that I know your child or what limits he needs, you know that, I'm just encouraging you to think about it. If these are just rules because they've been rules since he was 4, maybe it's time for a re-vamp. If they are rules because these limits are important and functional for his life, then they only answer that I know of for sneaking is supervision.

What I'm trying to say is that many sneaking problems are solved by freedom: (a) The freedom to have screen time while parents sleep (as long as it's quiet, considerate, limited to certain viewing possibilities and independently accomplished) is not at all an unusual arrangement. (b) The freedom to serve one's self from a list of mostly-healthy not-to-much 'anytime foods' -- including a small serving of peanut butter -- also could contribute to a healthy view of both foods and personal responsibilities.

The 'always hungry' with a 'tremendous' amount of food... it has me hinting towards something medical. You might want to give him some (healthy) food freedoms and keep a food journal about his choices. If it does seem 'tremendous' you could take that record with you to a doc and see if it rings any bells as a symptom.

[HeatherM]

I snuck food when I was younger and hid to eat it. It is because my mom was very strict with snacks and eating in between meals. Could it be that he just wants to be able to snack a bit? I am strict with my daughter, but then I realize that I can just eat whenever I feel like it. I'm going to be doing a healthy choice bin for her, and let her pick whatever she wants from it whenever she wants. Now, if she started becoming too full for meals, I'd have to re-evaluate.

[Bonnie]

Not especially helpful, I know, but I wanted to let you know that this is very much age typical, IME. I'm dealing with it with the nearly 9 still on occasion, and the nearly 7 is showing signs of starting it.


ETA: I'm speaking to the sneaking, not so much the food specifically.

[Domina]

Is it the volume of food that seems extreme, or just the frequency of his snacking? I'm a grazer and I eat all day long. I've never without food in my hand. However, the total number of calories I consume every day is reasonable.

I tend to take my son's word for it and let him eat whenever he's hungry. I provide healthy choices and observe, but don't restrict quantity.

My kid is really tall and solid for his age, but he's not overweight. His ped says his weight is perfect for his height, so it seems to be working out.

[mrsd]

My sister in law did the same thing as a child.It turns out she had something wrong with her thyroid. I don't recall if it was overactive or underactive. It might be worth discussing with your doctor.

[everydaygrace]

I would make healthy snacks available at all times. if the snacks are of the right variety, you wouldn't need to be concerned about the possibility of decreased eating during mealtimes. I'm thinking veggies and dip, fruit, nuts, bread with peanut butter, etc. Since it's actually healthier to eat lots of smaller meals throughout the day, that wouldn't bother me at all.

[Blue Aurora]

Not especially helpful, I know, but I wanted to let you know that this is very much age typical, IME. I'm dealing with it with the nearly 9 still on occasion, and the nearly 7 is showing signs of starting it.


ETA: I'm speaking to the sneaking, not so much the food specifically.

and how do you deal with it?

[Bonnie]

Badly. :bag I'm :popcorn here for better options than losing my temper and giving shaming lectures on trust and integrity that neither encourage nor improve anything.

[Blue Aurora]

Uncontrolled food doesn't work so great here...i can't afford it and the messes a 2 year old can make with food out is something I can't keep up with.

They eat every 2 hours or so...snack, breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner and then it is bedtime and we do our best to have protein at most of the choices.

Tv/media is the same way here...ultimately we shoot for none but they're allowed to watch tv while dd1 is napping. We'd like to phase even that out so it's like a once a week thing. Playing quietly has always been the allowed activity in the mornings in our family.

[allisonintx]

I deal with sneaking as if it's a matter of course. I don't address the 'sneak' I address the thing that's not ok.

"Hey, Evelyn, peanutbutter doesn't belong in your room. You may eat it in the kitchen. "

I ignore the sneakiness on the face of it, while letting the child know that they weren't as sneaky as they thought. My kids think I have a little ESP going on :giggle. I let them know more than occasionally, without any consequence, that I see it all and that I trust them to use good judgment when I'm not looking.

8yo's are expansive. They are considering the world on their own terms... or considering that they might actually be separate from their family unit, and it's a heady feeling that they push a bit. No worries, though, because it gets tempered some by the experience, and nine shows the maturity they gain out of the experience.

[swimming with sharks]

what about sneaking it in the kitchen and getting caught? is it more of the 'oh are you still hungry, would you like more?' What if it's stuff she shouldn't have MORE of :think Sorry to hijack BA :shifty

[allisonintx]

"Oh are you hungry? I'll be happy to make you xyz."....as I'm taking away the 'offending' item.

I'm playing dumb, but the child always knows they're caught, and that they're experiencing a bit of grace.

[camperjen]

We made a list of items I usually have in the house with three categories: ALWAYS foods (fruits and veggies - things they can always eat and it's good for them), SOMETIMES foods (things like PB&J sandwiches, yogurt, cheese sticks, certain crackers, dried fruit - things that are okay for official snacks but not for all the time eating) and TREATS (oreo fun-dips, real cookies, half a pop-tart pastry etc). Three treats per week plus "treat Friday" where they get one treat/dessert after lunch -my older son gets it in his lunch bag at school.

We've instituted a pretty strict rule of fruits and veggies can truly be eaten anytime - even if I'm making dinner RIGHT NOW, they can choose to have half a banana or apple or carrot sticks. Even if we ate dinner ten minutes ago, same rule.

We eat like another poster mentioned - breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bedtime snack.

I really appreciate the idea of "oh, you're still hungry? I'll make you ___" when catching the child eating something inappropriate or at an inappropriate time.

I've tried to be really permissive about food when they ask - it's obvious they're hungry or they'd not be wanting to eat. Right now is a good example - it's Halloween and both boys have already received candy treat bags... they get one piece of candy per day until the bag is empty (and they're only allowed to keep twenty pieces of candy of their choosing - the rest goes in my secret stash for after bedtime LOL or I take it to the music shop where I teach for their candy dish). I think being so permissive - within reason and using lists where THEY feel more in control about what they're asking for - has helped (so far - they're 6.5 and almost 5) keep the sneaking and arguing down.

[MarynMunchkins]

I had this problem for a LONG time, and I child-proofed against it as much as possible. We had a keyed lock on the pantry, and I locked the door between meal/snack time. They had open access to fruit and the fridge, but everything else was locked away.

Bug, in particular, just didn't have the impulse control to stay out of food, so I helped him do it. I've done similar things with the t.v., phone, and computer. :)

[allisonintx]

Yes, I've locked away snack foods, many times. I have a footlocker that I use when I buy in bulk so that the favorite snacks don't disappear, and the garage freezer has a lock on it for perishables.

[Rabbit]

I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old. The 7 year old can operate the fridge lock, but not the pantry lock. (The two year old can't manage the fridge lock, or the kitchen would be awash with food and broken glass.) She's also free to get anything she wants off the counter, where specific foods are available. Again, out of the reach of the two year old. Food can only be eaten at the table, so that's where I expect to find her. I applaud her taking care of her own needs when my hands are full with her brothers, and just swap out foods I shouldn't have left out for foods that are more appropriate, when necessary.