joyinthejourney
04-30-2011, 01:00 PM
Went to the park today. Ds 4.5 took his shoes off to climb up the slide. Nonother kids were around, but our 2 + 1 cousin, so mil & I let him. Dd 2 copied him & burned her feet on asphalt. He'd had his fun, but it looked like it was about to cause probs w the littler ones, so we asked him to put his shoes back on so the 2 littles wouldn't copy him; he refused.
I sat on bench with him saying, "When your shoes are back on, then you may play." He said he was hungry. Thinking this may be the real reason for his grumpy refusal, and wanting to take advantage of the rare occassion he recognized his real need, (dd was an hour overdue for nap anyway), I said to mil, "We've been here an hour now; I think we should go."
She gave them juice boxes she had at the car, and i put the trikes away. When it was time to give her his empty juice box, he threw it at her. I told him that was not nice, & said he should pick it up & give to her nicely. She kissed him & said, "I know you are my sweet boy, so I know you can pick it up." He picked it up & threw it in the grass.
So I'm like , okay, time to get in the car. They both (dd & ds) scream --SCREAM!-- at me going into carseats & all the way home. Once home, I gently get their shoes off, hands washed, cool their faces with cold washcloths, give them snacks, drinks, & their favorite shows. All while they're still screaming at me. (Going to let dd drink & eat b4 trying nap.)
Dd calms down finally, but Ds is still screaming full force at me, non stop since the park, first because I'm mean, he wasnt ready to go; now bc this is the wrong show. I told him he wouldn't get a different show by screaming. He finally asked nicely after dd was well interested in the current show, so I thanked him for a nice voice & said we could watch his show next, to be courteous to dd. He started screaming again.
I went upstairs to get way from his screaming (told him that's where/why I was going. He followed me. So now I'm in my room. Time out for Mom; last time he screamed that long, I lost my temper with him. I feel okay now, & he has finally stopped screaming.
But, as I sit here, I wonder: Have I done all I could to help him not scream when he's angry? Did I handle all of that the right way, or am I too permissive? When I screamed like that as a child, I got hit. It shut me up, but I shove bad emotions down now, so its better than that, I know! But, in trying to avoid that, am I swinging too far in the other direction? (And, btw, it is so embarrassing in front of mil! But, it didn't get me flustered like it sometimes does. So that's improvement.)
I sat on bench with him saying, "When your shoes are back on, then you may play." He said he was hungry. Thinking this may be the real reason for his grumpy refusal, and wanting to take advantage of the rare occassion he recognized his real need, (dd was an hour overdue for nap anyway), I said to mil, "We've been here an hour now; I think we should go."
She gave them juice boxes she had at the car, and i put the trikes away. When it was time to give her his empty juice box, he threw it at her. I told him that was not nice, & said he should pick it up & give to her nicely. She kissed him & said, "I know you are my sweet boy, so I know you can pick it up." He picked it up & threw it in the grass.
So I'm like , okay, time to get in the car. They both (dd & ds) scream --SCREAM!-- at me going into carseats & all the way home. Once home, I gently get their shoes off, hands washed, cool their faces with cold washcloths, give them snacks, drinks, & their favorite shows. All while they're still screaming at me. (Going to let dd drink & eat b4 trying nap.)
Dd calms down finally, but Ds is still screaming full force at me, non stop since the park, first because I'm mean, he wasnt ready to go; now bc this is the wrong show. I told him he wouldn't get a different show by screaming. He finally asked nicely after dd was well interested in the current show, so I thanked him for a nice voice & said we could watch his show next, to be courteous to dd. He started screaming again.
I went upstairs to get way from his screaming (told him that's where/why I was going. He followed me. So now I'm in my room. Time out for Mom; last time he screamed that long, I lost my temper with him. I feel okay now, & he has finally stopped screaming.
But, as I sit here, I wonder: Have I done all I could to help him not scream when he's angry? Did I handle all of that the right way, or am I too permissive? When I screamed like that as a child, I got hit. It shut me up, but I shove bad emotions down now, so its better than that, I know! But, in trying to avoid that, am I swinging too far in the other direction? (And, btw, it is so embarrassing in front of mil! But, it didn't get me flustered like it sometimes does. So that's improvement.)