sneaking things - what would you do?

[tnaallen]

Tonight dh told me that the girls (4.5 and 7) have been sneaking and eating his ice cream. He could tell because it was melted and refrozen (like they took it out, ate at it, and then returned it to the freezer), and the fact that it was almost all gone now.

So..... what would you do? Should I say something to them, or just let it be since it's not like I caught them in the act? I don't even know what I would say... "Have you girls been getting into the ice cream?" I mean really, even if they say yes, then what? And if they say no and I know they are lying, then what? :shrug3

It's not the first sweet they've snuck while I have been putting the baby down (that's when they must do it because it's the only time I'm not out with them). I keep things up high and hidden, but they climb and find it. In the kitchen, garage, etc.. leftover candy from a party, whipped cream in the fridge, and now apparently ice cream.

I feel like a failed parent in a way. Wondering why they feel the need to sneak. Of course I'd say no to the sweets (well, not always, but as often as they'd like it, yes, I'd say no most of the time), so I suppose in their mind it's just that important to them to have it.

ETA: This is when I'm putting te baby down for a nap, not at bedtime. Also, those are the random sweets we have in the house after having thrown a party...not something we keep all the time..besides daddy's ice cream. :giggle They get into other stuff that is not a "bad" sweet like honey, babies snacks, etc..

[Heather Micaela]

I would say.

"Dad noticed that you have been eating his ice cream without permission. It looks like you guys are hungry before bed. We need to discuss what foods you can get w/o asking while I put the baby down. Then we also need to discuss when and how often you can hae 'sometime foods' like ice cream."

Also, if you don't want them, eating it, don't have it in the house. Tell dh to get single serve ice creams when he feels the craving for it.

[tnaallen]

Thanks Heather. I do like that wording.

Although, I don't know that I agree about not having it in the house. It's not just sugary things like ice cream they sneak. They'll get into the honey, or eat the babies freeze dried snacks. Things that I'm nto going to buy single serving sizes of, but that are things we use often and are costly.

[Heather Micaela]

I meant if there are things you are never going to say yes to, then you should not keep them around.

And I might find more things to say yes about, or at first say yes a bit more than you want, just to get them used to you not always saying no and get them used to asking.

But I do think they may need to eat before bed, so having things that are OK without asking should help.

YOu also can get have one cabinet you lock up

[KrissyLynn]

If they can never have it then dont keep it in the house? I dont know if I agree with that either? Can I ask why? Not trying to be offensive at all...just curious. But I do like the wording there, just bringing up that dad knows they've been sneeking the ice cream, and that if they are hungry before bed and want to get their own snack when you lay the baby down, there these are the things you can have, and if they want something else, then to just ask first. Maybe also explaining why you dont want them having sugar just before bed? :shrug3 My childs not at that age yet, so I am not sure if they would get that totally yet.

[tnaallen]

I wasn't to clear in my first post...this isn't before bed. It's at the baby's nap time in the middle of th day, after lunch. ;)

[MarynMunchkins]

My kids snuck food for a LONG time. I ended up getting a lock for the pantry and offering higher protein snacks twice a day. Ice cream was kept in the outside freezer.

If something was particularly tempting and I couldn't keep it out of their reach, I stopped buying it. Interstingly, once we quit any and all food dyes, they stopped sneaking food. I had a bag of organic, naturally colored candy that last 6 months. :jawdrop

[ReedleBeetle]

We have talked to Isaac about why he is not allowed certain foods, and he has seen the result make him not feel good when he would sneak it. We do keep a few foods he cannot have, and he is good about staying out of them. We have self serve foods that he can help himself too and we have told him that getting food himself is a privilege at this point and if he is not responsible with it, he can't do it. However, he is pretty responsible. This is a 5 year old that can correctly and consistently get himself his night time medicine and doesn't mess in medicine that is out that he shouldn't, etc.

[runningmama]

This was a phase my 5 year old just went through. He snuck a ton of stuff and hid it behind his bed. In one week I was finding cooking items (like brown sugar), snack foods, candy he found somewhere that my DH and I had completely forgotten about, etc. We had a talk about what were things he could have as a snack if he got hungry while I was putting brother down for a nap. It seemed like as soon as he knew it was okay for him to go in the kitchen and get himself something it wasn't so exciting to sneak stuff.

MarynMunchkins, I think it's really interesting about the food dyes. I find mine sneaking again when he was HFCS, which isn't often.

[mipennsn]

Interesting. Is it primarily the 4/5 yo dynamic. Our main sneaker is our 4 yo.

Tonight he was sneaking in front of me. Right after dinner he was telling me he was hungry. I should have offered him something more, but he only chose to eat his chicken and didn't eat the pasta.

[Katigre]

I would confront, not ask. You know that they did it - explain the evidence and why it was not ok. And ask them "What will you do to make restitution/amends to Daddy for eating some of his food?" See what they come up with (maybe they'll draw an apology picture (4.5 yo) or write an apology note (7 yo). Maybe they'll suggest pooling their money to buy him more ice cream and write on it "Daddy's only." I would also ask them if they have ideas about what would help them to not eat his ice cream in the future (or other sneaking food things in the future).