isn't thumping babies the same .

[WildFlower]

as slapping their hands? So my DD has not starting biting yet, and I hope she won't . My sister and mom both said they thump the baby's cheek if they bite when nursing. Although this would probably stop the behavior quickly, I really don't see any difference between that and slapping their hands if they hit or do something else we don't like. It only teaches that if you hurt me I'll hurt you back. That's why I do NOT intend to do that!!

[raining_kisses]

My dad gave me the same advice. Yeah, my ol' Pa, who knows jack diddly about breastfeeding had that little nugget of advice for me. :no Thanks, but no thanks.:no

He also told me "You'll wean him when he starts biting". Ugh, dad, he just bit me like 10 times in the car on the way over here, does he looked weaned to you?"

Were you just venting, or would you like ideas on how to help the biting stop?:hug

[Beth1231]

Ugh, I'm sorry you got the advice that left you feeling icky :hugheart

"My child is not a dog. There will be no Pavlov experiments in my family, thank you, but no thank you." :shifty Okay, maybe you shouldn't say that, that's me being snarky.

[klpmommy]

"thumping" is the same as hand slapping, spanking, swatting, hitting....

There are much gentler, kinder ways of stopping biting when nursing. Some kids will respond quickly to any method, some will take longer. But pain is not necessary. I've nursed three past the biting stage and I've not only survived it, I've managed to stop it with each of them at varying degrees of quickness (depends on child's personality)

[Beth1231]

Amen to Kimberly :yes The two things that worked for me (and I admit, I really lucked out) were quickly smooshing her face into my breast so that she had to open her mouth and secondly, a scream of pain from me (unplanned, of course) which surprised her/scared her enough to not do it again. Like I said, I lucked out.

[MomtoJGJ]

the best thing I did was to pay attention when they are in the biting stage :shifty I have a bad habit of nursing while doing other things and not paying attention.

Other than that smooshing them in so they have to let go and then putting them down every time, even if they are testing with a slight nibble that doesn't hurt at all and is kinda funny :)

[SweetCaroline]

yeah. dont thump your baby. :no
i noticed once the milk was slowing down and they stopped actively nursing and more kinda just hangin' out is when they bite- so if you pay attention you can pop him off before he does it.
does that make sense?

[gpsings]

I nursed 3 through that, and I learned that there is usually a precursor or 'warning' before the actual bite. If you watch them, you can usually see the signals. Also, the hanging out thing is true. It's often just a boredom thing.

[rjy9343]

I second paying attention to your baby. I have done the smooshing, yelping and putting down without any luck. But if I watch her, I know about when she will bite and I redirect without any drama. (With my daughter that is saying something). Hurting the kid because she is testing out new body parts seems a bit much to me.

[WildFlower]

DD hasn't actually started biting yet... her first little tooth is just barely poking through..but it IS sharp on my finger! with her personality , I think yelping in pain might be enough to startle her from doing it again. She cries if daddy sneezes or blows his nose! :( Not that I want to make her cry at all... I like the advice of smooshing in closer, that makes sense. It also makes sense that they can't bit if they are actively sucking.
It doesn't make sense to hurt someone for hurting you,even momentarily. I think , if I talked to my mom about it, she'd see the point, she is very gentle minded and very opposed to spanking. I don't think she ever thought about it really. My sister on the other hand, we have talked about punitive vs non-punitive consequences and parenting and she pointed out right away that she knew it was punitive but it worked.

[Johns_Gal]

There are ways to teach them not to bite, and they work. :yes

That said, in the midst of a biting phase, I know I'm not the only mama who has instinctively swatted at a nursling out of simple reaction to a real bite that drew blood. Did I feel bad after, uh, yes. There's a difference between premeditated "Bite me and I will hit you" and "Ouch! get it off!" in the middle of the night.

[BarefootBetsy]

I don't have enough breast tissue to "smoosh" effectively (I only tried it a couple times), but using my finger to quickly and gently break the suction and then not nurse any more until it stops throbbing (usually less than a minute, which I'm sure feels like forever to my baby, but that's the boundary I'm comfortable with) worked with all of mine.

They bit, they lost the breast for a short time :shrug3 It still sounds a bit Pavlovian when I write it out like that, but it's the natural consequence at least... and it didn't physically hurt any of them. Often, they stayed asleep if they were already asleep when I did that too :heart

[ThreeKids]

They bit, they lost the breast for a short time :shrug3 It still sounds a bit Pavlovian when I write it out like that, but it's the natural consequence at least... and it didn't physically hurt any of them.

yup

I have to admit, I didn't like how it sounded coming out of my mouth when dh asked me what I was doing when I had to smoosh.

I gotta' say, biting has to be stopped. Right when it happens. There is no other choice. If smooshing didn't work, I'd invent some kind of bit to keep the jaws from closing or wean. It's that important.

[holmama]

ack! I just received this same advice from my Mom last night :no
I know she "thumped" my little siblings when they bit her and I remember the suspicious, slightly worried, little looks they would give her as they resumed nursing. My DS is only 4 months old and has no teeth but has been chomping with his front gums, delightful! It hurts but even if I wanted to be punitive I really don't think he would understand WHY Mommy hit him if I were to try the thumping. So far none of his bites have lasted long enough for me to try the smooshing.

[Aerynne]

There are ways to teach them not to bite, and they work. :yes

That said, in the midst of a biting phase, I know I'm not the only mama who has instinctively swatted at a nursling out of simple reaction to a real bite that drew blood. Did I feel bad after, uh, yes. There's a difference between premeditated "Bite me and I will hit you" and "Ouch! get it off!" in the middle of the night.

Thank you for saying this- I btdt and feel AWFUL but it wasn't a planned thing. I am so blessed it wasn't hard enough for her to even give any indication of noticing. That being said, she does sometimes start to cry at my involuntary yelps.

[cindergretta]

I was advised to "flick" my babies between the eyes when they bit. :hunh I don't think so! :shiver

I am sensitive to pain and I did involuntarily "yelp" when they bit. None of mine bit more than once or twice. (I am sure I got lucky. I didn't do anything so spectacular to "teach" them.) I think babies are going to try it out and some more than others. But teaching them not to doesn't need to be cruel, IMO. I have nursed 4 babies through biting and I have no lasting scarring. :giggle

(If we are going to thump, hit, pinch, flick... why not just bite them??? Wouldn't that teach them??? :-/ :no )

[TenderLovingWillow]

There are ways to teach them not to bite, and they work. :yes

That said, in the midst of a biting phase, I know I'm not the only mama who has instinctively swatted at a nursling out of simple reaction to a real bite that drew blood. Did I feel bad after, uh, yes. There's a difference between premeditated "Bite me and I will hit you" and "Ouch! get it off!" in the middle of the night.

I did this too... I felt so bad.. And I hit him kinda hard..

I think I cried more than he did, b/c this was a week after DH had decided not to use punitive dicipline with our kids.. And then I go and smack him for biting..

I didn't mean to, so its a little different, but I still felt terrible.

That was the only time he did it.. but honestly, knowing the kind of personality he has, it probably had more to do with my yelp of pain than the smack.. At least, I hope so..

[ArmsOfLove]

something I read years ago said that trauma to a baby's mouth/cheek (like thumping or flicking) causes intense trauma to the baby emotionally. I'm not sure how it was measured, but it was very cautious about such actions to a baby.

If you see a baby about to bite the quickest and most effective thing to do is lay your finger sideways under their chin. With the slightest pressure (seriously--practice on yourself to see how little effort is needed) you can keep their mouth from opening to bite.

To get a jaw to release put your finger sideways into the corner of the mouth and pry apart or distract them so they release.

If a baby is biting 9 times out of 10 they are teething so give something for the pain and provide teethers and appropriate oral sensation :yes

[RubySlippers]

A good tip is to make sure you can see her tongue over her bottom gum/teeth while she is nursing. A baby can't/won't bite if her tongue is in the way, or so I've read. ;)

[Housekat]

Could someone elaborate on 'thumping'? Read from across the pond, that just sounds awful. I'm visualising a closed fist....not good :(

As for biting - I second PPs comments on that you can usually tell when it's going to happen. By now, it's actually enough for me to make eye contact (if I don't have it already) and say 'no biting! Biting hurts mama!". Amazingly, that reminds him that biting isn't on - he usually releases, or goes back to drinking 'properly'.

When I first started, I had to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention and then say the above. If he started to tense his jaw, I'd either smoosh him in or take him off the breast - REAL quick :D

[WildFlower]

(If we are going to thump, hit, pinch, flick... why not just bite them??? Wouldn't that teach them??? :-/ :no )
I HAVE actually heard the biting them thing too, not with nursing babies mind you but when I was still working and wasn't a mother yet, I had heard other people give the advice to a mom whose son was biting, to BITE HIM BACK :hunh:jawdrop and he would learn to stop! again, what?:snooty that just seems stupid IMO

Could someone elaborate on 'thumping'? Read from across the pond, that just sounds awful. I'm visualising a closed fist....not good :(


Thumping is like flicking with the finger, usually on the cheek , but done hard enough that it hurts. Just for clarification.

[Housekat]

Thumping is like flicking with the finger, usually on the cheek , but done hard enough that it hurts. Just for clarification.

Riiiight - thank you for that clarification. Total lost in translation moment. In the UK, if you "thump" someone, you punch them. With a closed fist. So I was like :jawdrop:hunh when I read the OP.

[klpmommy]

I think it is different when it is an involuntary reaction than a planned one. It isn't different to the child, but it is still different in your relationship and expectations. It is human to swat at something that hurts you without thinking.

I've had one persistent biter (S). If the things I did gently weren't working (smushing, removing for a minute, paying close attention, etc) then I seriously doubt that hurting her would have worked either. E only bit me once or twice, putting her down on the ground for a minute was enough to stop her. R was somewhere in the middle. They all have different personalities. And I am pretty sure S was biting out of frustration b/c my milk had dried up due to pregnancy.

[PDX Mommy]

I've gotten advice to thump or flick their cheek, as well as to pull their hair. What worked best for E (he was my biter--only while nursing but he drew blood several times) was to pull him in (he would clench down) so that he had to let go and to pay close attention while he nursed. If you don't have enough boob to smoosh them in, you can lightly pinch their nose shut until they unclamp. Hopefully you can skip over the biting phase, though!

[Meli]

Riiiight - thank you for that clarification. Total lost in translation moment. In the UK, if you "thump" someone, you punch them. With a closed fist. So I was like :jawdrop:hunh when I read the OP.

Thank you for asking for this clarification. I have been coming back to this thread again and again worrying over what on earth they could mean by "thumping" (should have just asked!)

[mwwr]

And since no one else has mentioned it yet, intentionally inflicting pain on a nursling is a great way to cause a nursing strike, regardless of your discipline philosophy.

[mamapotomus]

It seriously boggles my mind why people think that inflicting pain on a baby or child is going to have any sort of good outcome :(.
Temple has no teeth yet but she has already bitten me with her gum, I was kinda suprised how much it hurt:giggle.
When Leland was 9 months old we were on a trip to visit my parents and mid flight he bit me HARD, enough to draw blood which I didnt find out until we got off the plane (cause I wasn't going to "inspect" things while snadwhiched inbetween two strangers :giggle) It took about 2 weeks of tourture for my nipple to heal! After that everytime he would nurse I was super diligent about unlatching him if I thought he might bite and didn't have any issues after that.

[WingsOfTheMorning]

And since no one else has mentioned it yet, intentionally inflicting pain on a nursling is a great way to cause a nursing strike, regardless of your discipline philosophy.

:yes My dad says my grandpa never nursed again after he was thumped in the mouth.

For Lydia, inadvertantly shouting one time was enough to put her on a little strike for the rest of the day. :-/

[DoulaClara]

My kids both bit and reacted to my reactions differently, but it had similar origins. Gianna bit and I let out a surprised screech and jumped. This caused her to cry like her heart was broken, and then I cried, too. She was teething, and she hurt. I found that if I anticipated her teething pain, she didn't bite. I think she may have bitten a few more times, but by then, I learned her "tell-" she'd pause, flick her eyes up at me, and then chomp down. If I kept my pinkie finger by her cheek while nursing, and then hurry up and stick my finger into her mouth when she'd pause and look at me, I'd be able to both catch the bite on my finger, and quickly move my nipple out of the way.

Vincent, on the other hand, found my startled yelp and jump hilARIOUS. He laughed like a four month old should probably not have the ability (like he was in a comedy club or something) and then would laugh every other time. He had four teeth by then (and at 8 days until he turns one, it's a race to see if his final one-year molar will be in before the 8th, or if he will turn one with only one final tooth to pop all the way through.) His teeth hurt and needed some counter-pressure and pain relief. The comedy was a side perk. He didn't really have a "tell" but I still did the "stick my pinkie finger in between his gums and get the nipple out" every time he bit, and he finally did stop eventually. Like PPs said, I had to be aware.

You know, you're probably going to hear a lot of helpful and unhelpful advice in your nursing journey. Just remember that you owe no one an explanation or any kind of account- you're the mama!

[AngelaVA]

It's funny how people who know nothing about nursing seem to comment about that biting thing. Biting has not been an issue with either of my nurslings. DD1 bit me once, I said ouch and jumped and we stopped nursing for the moment ( I think that lasted about 20 minutes or so :giggle) Others have already given better advice but just wanted to mention that biting is not an inevitable part of nursing a toddler or older baby but yes if it happens there are much better ways to deal with it.

[MercyInDisguise]

Not only does that sound mean and punitive, it also sounds like you are setting yourself up for a nursing strike and/or early weaning. Baby could come to associate nursing with being thumped and decide it's just not worth it.