Please, tell me how to handle this.

[WildOlive]

DS2 goes on a rampage every time he's told he can't do something. I mean hitting people, throwing whatever he can get his hands on, knocking over chairs, whatever. And he is STRONG. He just turned 2. I try to set him up for success by keeping things out of reach that he can't have, but there will always be people to hit and chairs to knock over. How should I be handling this? I have tried giving him physical outlets like a trampoline, sit & spin, Rody horse, etc. but they only hold his interest for a few minutes when I first introduce them, other than that he doesn't touch them.

---------- Post added at 02:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:40 PM ----------

Also, someone please reassure me that your child was once an out of control toddler and is now a lovely child? I am just so TIRED of this. I need something to look forward to.

[MarynMunchkins]

For Shrimp, I name his feelings ("Oh, you sound ANGRY!", tell him what to do ("Hands are not for hitting") and then redirect and bear hug. :)

No one stays 2 forever. :hug

[WildOlive]

This is payback for me thinking I was such a good mom my kids never went through the 'terrible twos'. :shifty :bag You know what they say about payback...

That is basically what I do if he is hitting people (except I say 'gentle hands' and pick up his hand and put it gently on the person), but what about the throwing and knocking over?

I once read a summary of negative behaviors that the author had then taken and framed positively, I wish I could find that again.

[Waterlogged]

How much time is he getting outside?

[rcsmom]

I don't have any advice. Just want you to know you are not alone- my little guy does the same thing. How does everyone feel about redirecting to something appropriate to hit- like a pillow? I have thought about that but am not sure that is the correct route. I also notice that it does seem to happen more when he is tired, hungry or has been watching too much TV. We try to control those as much as possible but it is only a matter of degree- it doesn't stop it all together.

[WildOlive]

Yeah, he doesn't get out nearly enough. Now that the weather is warming up I expect that will change soon. He doesn't watch any TV.

I wonder too about punching pillows and things. We had been doing High Fives, but dh thinks that is no good because he won't know the difference between when it's appropriate to hit and when not. Anyone care to weigh in on that? When he hits me, I quickly grab his hand and turn it into a funny handshake, making faces and saying in a funny voice "how do you do?". He thinks that's a stitch. It really turns the mood around. He has an awesome sense of humor for a 2 yr. old, I need to find more ways to capitalize on that.

[Damselfly]

Have you read Dealing With Disappointment? It has been SO helpful for me and I wish I had read it when my kids were toddlers.

[Joanne]

Yeah, he doesn't get out nearly enough. Now that the weather is warming up I expect that will change soon. He doesn't watch any TV.

I wonder too about punching pillows and things. We had been doing High Fives, but dh thinks that is no good because he won't know the difference between when it's appropriate to hit and when not. Anyone care to weigh in on that? When he hits me, I quickly grab his hand and turn it into a funny handshake, making faces and saying in a funny voice "how do you do?". He thinks that's a stitch. It really turns the mood around. He has an awesome sense of humor for a 2 yr. old, I need to find more ways to capitalize on that.

I'd actuallly suggest you move away from both the "gentle hands" and "high fives". Both of those redirects re-direct *feelings*. It would be like me saying "cheer up!" to you when you want to punch someone. :yes

Instead, I'd stop his aggression, with my own hands/body if I need to and say a firm "no". I would move away if he keeps trying to hurt; I'd protect littles around him.

Is he "more" in other ways?

[Katigre]

Instead, I'd stop his aggression, with my own hands/body if I need to and say a firm "no". I would move away if he keeps trying to hurt; I'd protect littles around him.
:yes If one of my kids acts out and starts throwing/hurting things I immediately go over to them, bear hug them or put my hands on their shoulders (the pressure helps DS to calm down) and talk them through deep breaths and calming down. Since DD is 2 and is smaller, I will pick her up and carry her out of the situation/room to a different location (even from the floor to the couch) while I am talking calmly in her ear about reflecting feelings "You wish that you could throw the hoop and are frustrated about Mommy taking it away" and then I reiterate whatever our rule/boundary is about a given issue and will sometimes sing a song or comfort her to calm down.

I do not use just words to try to redirect an active 2 year old who is throwing a tantrum - physically getting them is what works over here. Once the child is calm, then we focus on making amends (if applicable) and moving on.

[WildOlive]

I'd actuallly suggest you move away from both the "gentle hands" and "high fives". Both of those redirects re-direct *feelings*. It would be like me saying "cheer up!" to you when you want to punch someone. :yes

Instead, I'd stop his aggression, with my own hands/body if I need to and say a firm "no". I would move away if he keeps trying to hurt; I'd protect littles around him.

Is he "more" in other ways?

Thank you for this. I hadn't thought about it that way at all. I thought I was doing a good thing by not saying 'No'.

I am trying to think if he is 'more'. I don't *think* so... can you give me some examples? Everyone is always commenting on how happy he is. It's only when he's frustrated that the violence comes out.

:yes If one of my kids acts out and starts throwing/hurting things I immediately go over to them, bear hug them or put my hands on their shoulders (the pressure helps DS to calm down) and talk them through deep breaths and calming down. Since DD is 2 and is smaller, I will pick her up and carry her out of the situation/room to a different location (even from the floor to the couch) while I am talking calmly in her ear about reflecting feelings "You wish that you could throw the hoop and are frustrated about Mommy taking it away" and then I reiterate whatever our rule/boundary is about a given issue and will sometimes sing a song or comfort her to calm down.

I do not use just words to try to redirect an active 2 year old who is throwing a tantrum - physically getting them is what works over here. Once the child is calm, then we focus on making amends (if applicable) and moving on.

Again, thank you! He absolutely hates to be restrained, but I think just picking him up and removing him to a different room would help. However, what's the course of action if he has hurt someone and I need to comfort that person? By the time I have comforted the other child, he is often off doing something else and has forgotten all about it.

It is so hard because I have to be 'on' all the time with him, I can never let down my guard. It is exhausting.