I think I'm going crazy...

[rachelserine]

I'm sure this has been said a million times before but...

I need help! I absolutely feel like I can't do this!!

I was oh-so-confident in gentle discipline when I had twin 6 month olds and a charming 1 1/2 year old... and now I have 2 16 month olds and a 28 month old and every day I lose it. Every day I go crazy.

J thinks it's a fun game to just push over the twins. Unfortunately we just can't seem to figure out a solution or script something consistent and better than No and STOP! Two words he has totally figured out now...

I know that my discipline issues aren't that big of a deal with them - things could be much worse. I have a daughter who just likes to chill on her own and would never fuss if not for J and a son who is totally compassionate and cries when the other two cry... and then I have a needy toddler whom I can never give enough attention. He needs so much and I just. Don't. Have. It.

I attempt goyb parenting and end up just laying on the floor crying.

I have sensory processing issues - esp with touch and sound - and I can not stand the noise and the dirt and the constant needing and touching. DH is in class all morning, home for an hour or so to eat lunch so even when they are sleeping my time is not my own, and then he is gone usually until they go to bed. My family lives in South America and I really just don't get a break. We haven't had a date in months and the last time we got away from the kids was for ministry work. :P

I need coping ideas from other moms. I need a sympathetic ear while I whine. :P I need scripts for toddlers. I need someone to kick me in the butt and tell me I can do this! :P

I needed to get that out... :)

[Annainprogress]

:hug2

[MarynMunchkins]

Wow, those are hard ages to have all at once! :hug

How are you meeting your own needs? Do you get any alone time? My introvertedness is the reason bedtime is sacred at our house. Can you wear earplugs? Do body brushing for you? What options do you have afa baby-sitters or a mother's helper?

I don't think there's much discipline solutions for those ages. There's a lot of repetition and redirection, which is exhausting. :phew It's going to need you to take care of yourself as much as possible so you can cope with it.

[SweetCaroline]

do you think needy toddler gets enough mom time? i have a 28 month old too, and when he feels a little disconnected he's really difficult. i know giving anybody mom time just to themselves is probably hard, but can you mabey stagger their naps? the twins go down, and you just hang out w/ toddler?

oh yeah..ITTTA about the noise level and the amount of touching thing. i eas an only child and sometimes (ok, most of the time) this is a little too much for me

[rachelserine]

Wow, those are hard ages to have all at once! :hug

How are you meeting your own needs? Do you get any alone time? My introvertedness is the reason bedtime is sacred at our house. Can you wear earplugs? Do body brushing for you? What options do you have afa baby-sitters or a mother's helper?

I don't think there's much discipline solutions for those ages. There's a lot of repetition and redirection, which is exhausting. :phew It's going to need you to take care of yourself as much as possible so you can cope with it.

I did have alone time last night - it was nice. :P DH saw I was at the end of my rope and pitched in more than usual. We have a couple of girls on campus here who will help babysit occasionally, but I've had a lot of reasons to ask them lately that haven't been me-time reasons (photoshoots) and I hate to take advantage of them. But DH and I are going to figure out maybe a scheduled time I can get out and just chill at a coffee shop or something every week. That would make a huge difference.

I really needed to hear that there isn't much I can/should do for discipline. I have so much pressure to be punitive and get my babies to behave that I forget this is just a time of learning for them! Thank you. :)[COLOR="Silver"]

---------- Post added at 09:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:32 AM ----------

do you think needy toddler gets enough mom time? i have a 28 month old too, and when he feels a little disconnected he's really difficult. i know giving anybody mom time just to themselves is probably hard, but can you mabey stagger their naps? the twins go down, and you just hang out w/ toddler?

oh yeah..ITTTA about the noise level and the amount of touching thing. i eas an only child and sometimes (ok, most of the time) this is a little too much for me

Nope, needy toddler does not get enough mom-time. :( I know this is true, but figuring out what to do about it is sometimes more than I can handle. THANK YOU for the staggering naps idea. I think he is (or will soon be) ready to go down a little later than the twins. I hate to give up more nap time, but if it brings peace later I will totally do it! :P

[ArmsOfLove]

:hug Breath

okay :)

Now, you cannot stop your children, with any method of discipline, from being 2--and 2 is the age that is there to prepare you for 3 ;) They are asking at this age, "How much power do I have over myself?" So decide how much power they have. I'm all about giving them as much power as they show themselves ready for. Dressing themselves, picking out their own clothes, limited choices (red or blue cup?)

I will say if your twins are anything like mine there will be way more tears than with a singleton because they want the same thing :doh Just buy two. Seriously :sigh

child-proof your house. Just make your home YOUR sanctuary. A place where they have freedom and you don't have to jump in all the time. Set them and you up for success :yes It will make all the difference.

And remember that they are learning what they need from this stage to get ready for the next. So let them learn it. Do not micromanage. Set it up so they have freedom. You will be less exhausted and can join in and ENJOY them. That's what you need--some enjoying of your littles :heart

[rachelserine]

:hug Breath

okay :)

Now, you cannot stop your children, with any method of discipline, from being 2--and 2 is the age that is there to prepare you for 3 ;) They are asking at this age, "How much power do I have over myself?" So decide how much power they have. I'm all about giving them as much power as they show themselves ready for. Dressing themselves, picking out their own clothes, limited choices (red or blue cup?)

I will say if your twins are anything like mine there will be way more tears than with a singleton because they want the same thing :doh Just buy two. Seriously :sigh

child-proof your house. Just make your home YOUR sanctuary. A place where they have freedom and you don't have to jump in all the time. Set them and you up for success :yes It will make all the difference.

And remember that they are learning what they need from this stage to get ready for the next. So let them learn it. Do not micromanage. Set it up so they have freedom. You will be less exhausted and can join in and ENJOY them. That's what you need--some enjoying of your littles :heart

Sigh... Yes, that is what I need. :) I do also need to take some time to re-child-proof. Right now child-proofing consists of the dining room chairs on top of the table and that just isn't cutting it. :P I also probably need to simplify. Less stuff.

I feel like I already need to buy three of everything since they are so close in age. Again... simplify maybe? :P I'm really hoping that sometime soon the in-laws can take the kids for a weekend and I can just attack the house.

Thanks for the reminders, especially to not micromanage and to enjoy. I really needed that. I am definitely a micromanager. :P

Really my children are lovely. I just don't remember that until they are in bed... :P

[Abibigail]

Hey, you. :hug2

No advice, but big hugs for you, hon. I'm glad you're here.

[rachelserine]

Thanks Abby. I'm glad I'm here too, and it's all because of you! :D Thanks! :D